Motivator of Woft

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It’s 3 PM in the corporate office and you are exhibiting all the classic signs of needing a work pick me up. Your eyes are getting tired and extremely bloodshot from looking at that computer screen all day, your bottom is starting to experience the occasional numb spot from sitting on your chair too long, and you are getting that grumpy and frustrated watch observation technique where the passage of time tirelessly slows as it nears 5 PM.

STOP! Don’t walk to the café to get that habitual afternoon long black coffee or soymilk latte, you need the HR approved “Motivator of Woft” (MoW). Yes, after an extensive university-testing regime on many willing (and some unwilling) employees, we are excited to announce the long anticipated market release of the MoW.

This classical motivation enhancement apparatus is fully equipped with the latest features that ensures the wearer total comfort whilst they are happily and constructively stimulated in the corporate office. No longer will your staff want to leave at 5 PM, they will be pleading with you to stay as long as possible, and may even want to make their permanent residence their work desk.

So what exactly is the MoW and how does it work?

The answer is quite simple and has its origins in the sensual excitement methodology that has tantalised many humans throughout the history of man and womankind. The key to the success of the MoW is the human nose. This remarkable facial protrusion is quite a complex and highly intricate odour (or woft) recognition apparatus.

I’m sure that many readers of this blog post will immediately relate to the pleasurable woft of a freshly brewed coffee, sizzling pan-fried bacon, or hot baked bread that has just been taken out of the oven. On smelling these odours, your mind typically awakens with immense delight and pleasure.

This is the key aspect of the MoW and is the strategic driver that ensures its remarkable success. Through the use of a fashionable and tailored facial mask, we have been able to provide the wearer with an endless supply of wofts that can be easily customised for the user. The process is simple. Just place the mask over your face when you require some corporate motivation and then select the woft odour to suit your specific need. Each facial mask comes with a selection dial of ten unique and nostril inspiring fragrances that will entice the wearer. No longer will you need to leave your work desk for that a traditional 3 PM stimulation, the MoW will provide you with all the inspiration you will ever need! And should you get bored with the standard 10 wofts, a bonus 20 woft pack is available for a small additional expense.

Yes, you know you want your own MoW. So what are you waiting for?

For all those blog post readers that respond* to the author in the next 30 minutes, we will provide you with an impressive monogramed MoW that will be the envy of all your colleagues.

Happy corporate office wofting!

*VISA, MC, AMEX and of course lots of cash are happily accepted!

Dream Communications

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Sometimes it’s difficult to tell whether you are dreaming, or actually in a dream. In this instance, it was not a dream, I was wide awake and fully conscious.

My doubt about dream authenticity started yesterday when I was looking at the young woman sitting opposite me in the coffee shop. I was thinking thoughts, and she seemed to respond ‘verbally’, but there were no words or facial expressions exchanged. Yes, we were communicating, having a conversation that only we were privy to, well, I thought we were, or was it my imagination? So I decided to test the theory and commenced an unspoken thought conversation of triviality about the benefits and negatives of colonising the moon with soy milk chai latte drinkers! After a few minutes of what seemed ‘mindless dialogue’, she stood up from her comfortable cafe seat, straightened her skirt, flicked her long blond hair back and smiled directly at me. She then to my surprise said, “Chai lattes do need honey, but are there bees on the moon?” She then handed me her business card and suggested that we ‘chat again’! Yep, I had my proof!

Now this might have also been a dream, but let’s not worry about the semantics of truth as the concept gave me an idea for the corporate office.

What if we could train ourselves to dream, but in a way that we communicate with colleagues on a particular topic that needs to be resolved or progressed, but only in our subconscious mind? The workplace and the people concerned could be role played in our thought whilst we slept?

Taking the concept further, what if you could ‘suggest’ an issue that your colleagues could also ponder and work on in their minds whilst they also slept?

Now for the interesting and really exciting next step, what if we could get your mind, and the minds of your colleagues sharing the identical dream at the same time, exchanging learnings and experiences? Following on from that idea, why not add other people that you don’t yet know from different companies, cultures or countries, into the dream for an exponential group thought enhancement experience?

Those readers in HR will I’m sure now be realising the training and innovation development opportunities, particularly from a regional or global perspective?

For those of you struggling with all of the above, may I suggest you go into a coffee shop and order a soy milk chai latte (with honey) and just let your thinking go with the flow. And, should a blond woman appear to respond to one of your thoughts whilst you quietly sip your drink, just mention this blog post and I’m sure you will be surprised by the response!

Why not “Think Inside the Time Box”?

Time Jumper

This morning ritual of having breakfast in the Virgin Lounge at Melbourne airport was becoming an all too familiar experience. [1]

After satisfying my early morning Maslow’s basic survival needs with a long black coffee, wholemeal toast with lashings of vegemite, a petite bowl of muesli, I then mentally consumed the words in my newspaper looking for that insightful and learned spark of wisdom. Five minutes later, possibly six at a stretch, I had quickly come to the conclusion that I was bored. There was now only one thing for me to do in order to fill-in the time before I boarded my flight to Sydney, and that was to observe my fellow business travelers.

After a few minutes of visual critique, it became very apparent that the long sought personal goal of individual creativity which defined everyone as a unique individual, had somehow slipped between the cracks that morning. The more I looked, the more I could see many of my yet unknown business acquaintances partaking of coffee, cereal, toast with the occasional variant of a random accompaniment of difference (eg marmalade or honey), but in essence the selected diet was remarkably the same.

We wore similar suits, ties, cuff-links, shirts with that all too familiar checked pattern and colour, read the same newspapers, and even looked at each other with that same inquisitive look when a wild animal is startled from its habitual and comfortable lifestyle by an oncoming car headlight.

This got me thinking. How can we be creative if we are all seeking business innovation and inspiration via the same sources of knowledge and thought? The well-known term “thinking outside the box” came to mind, but is this the right way to discover new ideas? If we are all following the same methodology, all reading the same editions of the Harvard Business Review, the same business books, following the same sports, eating the same food, well, our sight outside the box is rather flawed and certainly lacks that required long distance vision, it will also be the same view as everyone else!

Why not try something a little bit different? Why not “think inside the box”, but with a major difference, that being time as a variant? There is a lot of untapped idea history “inside the time box”, the key is to open it up and use it. Many potentially brilliant ideas have literally died with creative thinkers of past generations. If their ideas had been passed down between the ages, their insights may have formed the basis of many unusual and different innovations that could only be fulfilled with the progression of time and today’s technology.

Alas, time travel is not possible, but what about actualising the environment and thought stimuli of past creative thinkers to excite and enlighten you and I today? The method is quite simple. Why not consider the following past time ideation starters:

  • Dress up in period costume and wear those antiquated spiffy clothes in the corporate office?
  • Don’t read today’s newspaper, read some old papers and get an appreciation of the business and life customs of the past?
  • Forget the long black coffee in the morning, have an old English ale instead? (assuming your HR Manager is OK with the concept)
  • Don’t drive to work, walk or take your personal horse and buggy?

I’m sure the experience would lead to some different and creative thoughts being established as you think” inside the time box”. Your business colleagues will also have the benefit of thinking differently as they observe you in the process of historical thought change and will marvel at your self-confidence and creative fortitude.

So next time you are sitting in the Virgin Lounge at Melbourne airport awaiting your flight, try and consider what you can do to implement some small amount of thinking “inside the time box”, I’m sure it will lead to a noticeable creative point of difference in your life. If the concept is too great to publicly display, then why not start off with a lesser innovative step, don’t have a long black coffee, have a soy milk chai latte with honey instead!

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[1] The Suit Trouser Length Creativity Index
https://thinkingfuturethoughts.wordpress.com/2014/09/01/the-suit-trouser-length-creativity-index/

Business As Unusual

Another piece of Strange Fruit

When it’s your first time in a new office, you tend to notice things, and I was definitely observing! This place was certainly different!

I sat down with one of my new work colleagues and noticed that he was wearing different coloured socks. Nothing unusual I thought, at least he wasn’t wearing a brown shoe on his left foot, and a black one on his right one, like the guy walking past us!

I then noticed that a young woman sitting near us was wearing a white stylish shirt, but there were no buttons, rather an array of brightly coloured loops that when intertwined kept the shirt together. This was complemented with some stockings under her skirt that had a most unusual motif.

Another work colleague was sipping their steaming short black coffee with a rather transparent bendy straw, the ceramic coffee cup was blue, but the cup saucer was red.

On checking the time on the office walk clock, I saw that the clock hands were reversed, the minute hand was short, the hour hand was long, to add to the confusion, it also went backwards.

Was there nothing “usual” in this office?

I just had to find out what was going on and leaned over to my new colleague and asked him why this office was “different”?

He responded with a most curious reply. He said that here in this office it is “Business as Unusual”. I was sure that I’d not heard him incorrectly and said, “You mean “Business as Usual”? His reply was immediate, “No, it’s “Business as Unusual”. Here in this office, innovation is not a separate business activity defined by a Department of Innovation, nor a Chief Innovation Officer, here innovation is naturally and effortlessly demonstrated in every activity and behaviour undertaken, by all employees. Innovation is not a process that you turn on and off when there is a business need, it is part of your corporate DNA and it needs to be continually expressed, what’s more, it’s expected. Business should never be “usual”, if it is, then innovation has no hope in succeeding”.

“What a great organisation”, I thought. Upon which I decided it was definitely time to do some corporate clothes shopping, I urgently needed some new business attire before I took one further step in this office!

Yes, it’s “Business as Unusual”!

Grand Chef de Woft

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As I patiently sat awaiting instructions from the occupants of Conference Room 1, I smugly took the opportunity to look around my master chef kitchen. Although small, and positioned strategically beneath the Conference Room, it was a classy place, full of the latest stainless-steel cooking appliances, pans, other key requisite implements, and one that was dutifully restocked on a daily basis with the latest aromatic worldly delights.

In my position of “Grand Chef de Woft”, I felt honoured in the knowledge that I was fully appreciated by those that gleefully awaited my gourmet creations to stimulate, and motivate their creativity and hunger for innovation.

Unbeknownst to me, my work colleagues above had now entered Conference Room 1 and were preparing to start their 9 AM team meeting. They all gathered around the “woft box” and unanimously agreed upon their selection. As they were all feeling quite hungry and lethargic, they desperately needed an appropriate thought woft stimulation. They selected the popular “woft number 3”, and immediately the instruction was conveyed to me and I sprung into action.

I placed the freshly brewed coffee and pan-fried onions under the woft extraction fan that was positioned centrally over my stove, and then turned it on to maximum woft velocity. Conference Room 1 quickly filled with “woft number 3” and the occupants marvelled at the odours that were soon to completely fill their room. As is standard practice, at the conclusion of their meeting, they closed the vent of woft and opened the outside windows to allow the fresh air to permeate into the room, thereby eliminating any residual odours in preparation for the next occupants of Conference Room 1.

At 11 AM, I was instructed to convey “woft number 7”. Experience told me that these colleagues were struggling, and I promptly boiled copious amounts of strong peppermint tea. A few seconds later, the woft of peppermint engulfed the meeting room to which sighs of relief were loudly heard by those above, thereby signalling their motivational satisfaction.

This process continued all day until 5 PM when the lights in Conference Room 1 were turned off and my colleagues packed up their bags and happily headed home.

Knowing that my important role was now done, I also tidied up my kitchen and departed the corporate office. I left with a sense of achievement, knowing that I had provided the required woftful environment that lead to many new ideas being generated in Conference Room 1. I smiled with satisfaction on a job well done!

Measuring Employee Happiness

The black color didn’t make the homecoming dress lose the sense of cute. Do you agree with me?

There is a question that has been puzzling me for a while now (well, at least a few minutes), and that is; “How should we measure real success in the corporate office?”

No, I’m not talking the traditional financial measurements such as profit, sales or share price, just to name a few. I’m referring to the more important measures of whether an organisation has a successful culture that promotes innovation and an employee mood of happiness.

There have been many a study which has tried to chart an individual’s mood, one of the more creative ones being the “Hemline Index”. “This theory suggests that hemlines on women’s dresses rise along with stock prices. In good economies, we get such results as miniskirts (as seen in the 1960s), or in poor economic times, as shown by the 1929 Wall Street Crash, hems can drop almost overnight.”
(Ref: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemline_index#cite_ref-1)

Other such notable indexes also include items such as laxatives and deodorants! “During a recession, laxatives go up, because people are under tremendous stress, and holding themselves back,” said Shapiro, now chief executive of SAGE, a Chicago-based consulting firm. “During a boom, deodorant sales go up, because people are out dancing around.”
(Ref: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/19/business/worldbusiness/19iht-19lewin.17068071.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0)

Now as a corporate employee that understands the protocols of “acceptable behaviour in the workplace”, I would not even consider the application of the “Hemline Index”, the “Deodorant Index”, and I’m not even going near the “Laxative Index”, but there must be some other “acceptable” measures that can be used by the organisation to highlight their success in this area? This conundrum got me thinking!

What about the following potential mood measurements in the office:

1. The Wall Bounce Chart
A line could be painted on all office walls at a constant height position of say 5 feet. Theory (according to “someone”) suggests that when a person is happy, they tend to have a bounce in their walking step. Therefore the logical next step is to measure an employee’s “walk bounce” as they sojourn around the office corridors. The higher the bounce deviation from the 5 feet benchmark reference line, the happier the employees working in that office.

2. The Coloured Attire
According to the “someone” that discovered the walking bounce indicator, another indicator of employee happiness is the colour of their clothes. Those who habitually dress in sombre black or grey clothes (besides being residents of Melbourne) are typified as being quite conservative and less known to whoop it up in the corporate office. Whereas, those adorned with colour, well, they are exhibiting all the classic signs of success and a want to let the world know of their personal satisfaction and excitement.

3. The Organic Tea Bag
When an employee is stressed, the common drink of choice is coffee or tea. However, according again to that “someone”, another important measurement of happiness is the clutter observed around the organic tea bag jar located in the office communal kitchen. Happy employees are reported to drink more organic tea and they like to woft their tea bags around in the air with a gleeful flick prior to placing them in the bin. The result is a mixture of tea bag tags randomly tossed around the kitchen and the strange odour of combined chamomile, lemon, chai and green tea fumes.

I’m sure that you can think of many more mood measurement indexes that would complement the above three ideas.

So why don’t corporate organisations list these important indexes in their annual reports, or in the monthly newsletters? May I suggest that you lobby your GM of HR to get these indexes incorporated into your company’s cultural measures of employee success? Yes, it’s just a thought to make you think that little bit differently!

Office Stress Elimination

woman darkness

There is a dark room in the corporate office that is buried deep down in the depths of the building foundations. In this room sits a quiet unassuming gentle natured woman who has a perpetual smile continually permeating from her face.

Her body is an illuminated random visual blur of different coloured lights that are reflecting the constantly changing computer screen displays that cover every inch of her office walls. Her eyes dart from each computer screen on the look out for that bright red warning light to flash indicating that she needs to move into the appropriate corrective action routine that is stipulated for her to follow when prompted.

So what exactly does she do? Well, let me enlighten you.

Did you know that underneath each of your computer keyboards in the corporate office there is a microscopic sensor? This sensor has been finely calibrated to measure the finger force that you apply when using your computer. When you are stressed, or agitated, the sensor measures the corresponding minute change in your finger pressure from your usual benchmark ‘non-stressed value’ that has been determined over many hours of computer typing activity.

For those of you that are a tad stressed for a long duration whilst residing at your computer, this triggers a red flashing warning light on the woman’s console.

I will now explain this woman’s role in the corporate office. She is the Senior Director of Stress Elimination and reports directly to the Vice President of HR.

The flashing red light now prompts the well established smile on her face to quickly widen as she prepares the required corrective action to alleviate the user stress now identified on her computer console. She is now in her element and initiates all her years of stress reduction training.

She now types in the secretive stress reduction codes into her computer. Once the ‘enter’ key has been hit, a chain reaction of electrical interference is now implemented.

The stressed person sitting at their computer will suddenly be plunged into an eery silence . All the phones and computers of their surrounding work colleagues will be immediately shutdown. However, their computer will continue to operate without any hindrance. The stressed worker will now hear a loud flurry of annoyed and angry colleagues sitting next to them and they will consider that they are quite lucky in that they can still work without any interruption! Their sense of stress will now change to a feeling happiness!

I can now hear you ask about how the Senior Director of Stress Elimination now handles the commotion that she has now generated? Well, the answer is quite simple, she has a coffee break and leaves it to the corporate IT Help Desk to sort out!

Fifteen minutes later, when everything has now settled down, she returns quietly to her desk and awaits for her next stress relieving opportunity to assist a fellow work colleague….

Eyes Down with a Positive Perspective

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When sojourning around the corporate office you will encounter a variety of co-workers with differing walking styles. Those people who are confident will typically walk with a sense of purpose and will greet you with a determined look that locks their eyeball with yours. Others who are less positive by nature will tend to waddle around the building with their eyes well entrenched with a downward stare and minimal opportunity for communication.

Many an office will parade an endless array of motivational signage on the office walls to encourage people to change their perspective and to react in a more optimistic manner. However, there is an untapped opportunity for inspiring those with a downward glance whilst walking throughout the building that utilises an office environment that is frequently under utilised and ignored from a marketing and change management directive, that being the floor!

The floor provides an intertwining matrix of messaging possibilities:

Different Carpet Colours
Why do all carpet colours need to be consistent throughout the building? Why not create a pictorial affect to inspire people who work within various departments? For instance, those in marketing could have an outer space carpet with an endless array of stars and galaxies to help inspire a creative thought? Those working in finance could have a carpet with many numbers, $ signs and mathematical formula permutations? Those in HR, could have a multitude of employee faces beaming up at them to reinforce the diversity of culture within the business?

Safety Messages
For those danger areas where people collisions may eventuate, why not have some floor signs saying “Beware, slow down and exercise caution otherwise there may be unwanted facial contact”?  Or, in the canteen, “Look out for slurping coffee carrying colleagues!”

Management Notifications
When a senior manager is approaching, a floor notification could be transmitted to approaching co-workers stating “Be happy, smile, look like you are busy!”

Personalised Walking Tones
For some co-workers that need that extra form of encouragement, the floor would have the ability to read certain employee feet and walking styles.  For those individuals identified, an appropriate piece of “power music” would blast out from the floor to give them that psychological lift whilst moving throughout the building!

There is an endless array of floor possibilities in the corporate office. The key is to start viewing all aspects throughout the building that “little bit differently”! May these innovative and creative ideas lead to hours of happy and positive walking in your place of work!

 

The Corporate Reception Area

Circular Reception Desk

When you enter a shop for the first time your senses are seeking out data points with which to form an impression that usually influences your buying behaviour whilst in the store, and afterwards with respect to potential repeat visits. Each store tries to create their own individuality that differentiates themselves from their competition through a variety of different coloured décor, sounds, smells, staff dress code, personality style and other mannerisms.

So what can we learn from this in the corporate world? The answer is heaps, particularly with respect to the business reception area.

Business reception areas are the portal through which all new clients enter and they are in essence the “shop front” to the corporate organization. So why not make this “experience of entrance” one that will place your business on a pedestal that will be the envy of your opposition?

Some thoughts for achieving this that are that “little bit different”:

1. Facial Recognition
For clients that have visited your business previously, why not use facial recognition to send their details electronically as they are walking to the receptionist who can provide them with a personal salutation of welcome when they sign in?

2. No more dull waiting time
Should your clients arrive early for a meeting, why should they sit around aimlessly reading the traditional range of dated and boring magazines and newspapers?
A much better and innovative alternative is to provide a range of other more interesting options such as; a dedicated barista to provide that optimum coffee brew, free WiFi so they can check E-mails, a well stocked library with comfortable reading chairs, a golf practice putting area with your company logo on the green, or an array of dynamic computer games, etc. I’m sure that these options would be much better appreciated!

3. Video Messaging Booth
Should you client not have sufficient time for the meeting with your organization through no fault of their own, or should your employees be double booked with too many meetings, the reception area would be equipped with an array of video messaging booths. Here the client could sit down in private and make their presentation or provide feedback to a video camera which would record their message. This could then be E-mailed to the appropriate person in your business for viewing at a later date.

4. The Outdoor Reception Area
Why not have a built in outdoor glass enclosed reception area instead of one with the more traditional corporate appearance? This could comprise a variety of outdoor garden elements that are in sync with the climatic seasons with a well defined footpath meandering to the reception desk. For instance, there could be a grassy mound with occasional animal (eg cow, kangaroo, horse) strolling past the clients, an intermittent and random rain shower requiring the use of strategically placed umbrellas or an ice-cream stand located amongst a sand dune or rock-pool?

I’m sure that these creative and rather unique additions to the corporate reception area would have a lasting and positive influence on any client that may visit your business.

Why not consider some of these ideas when designing your next office building?

I’m sure that it would indeed make people “think that little bit differently”!

 

The Infectious Smile

Heike

Wow…..that was a great smile I told myself when receiving my coffee in the cafe! When this woman smiled, I, and everyone else she met just had to smile back. Her smile was genuine, natural, unforced and infectious.

This got me thinking….

How many people in your office “really smile”? Every business needs a “smiler” to initiate that human touch, to let people know that they are important and not just another employee number in the corporate organisation.

A “smiler” is like a little heat spot in the building that generates and radiates warmth that people are attracted to when needing a motivational uplift.

So why don’t we formalise the role of the “smiler” in the organisation chart? Those with the recognised “smiling skill” could list this attribute on their CV, and for those that are deemed “Masters of Smiling”, there would be a large salary increase entitlement to entice them to stay in the business! After all, these prized “smilers” would be the target of many a head-hunter (or smile-hunter)!

I also would suggest that each work department needs at least one accredited “smiler” to raise morale. For those working in the more dull work teams (eg accounting – apologies to any accountants that might be reading), a second “smiler” may be required!

So next time you see a person with a magnificent smile, please savour the moment and try to learn from the experience with the view of embellishing your own smile in the direction of “smiling grandness”!