Corporate Access Code 76806864

I want to share a secret with you! But you need to promise not to tell anyone in your office! If you can’t abide with these T&Cs of confidentiality, then you need to stop reading this blog post right now.

For those of you that have agreed to the prescribed conditions, please move a little closer to your computer screen so I have your full and undivided attention.

OK, so what’s this all about you may ask? Now let me explain.

Have you ever noticed some people in your office that seem to do everything just right? They are the people who never seem to get stressed, always complete their work on time and tend to have the most innovative and creative ideas?
They are typically the career “high flyers” in the corporate organization and seem to exude a disturbingly youthful and ageless appearance.

So what is the secret to their success? Allow me to educate you accordingly.

Come with me on a walk in your office to a room that you may have never noticed. To do so, there needs to be no talking, pushing or shoving as we need to be quite stealthful in our journey. For additional noise reduction, please put these special socks on your feet, which come in two corporate colours – pink and blue. It doesn’t really matter which sock colour you select, and I won’t make any judgement should you choose one in particular! Now that we are all set, let’s proceed.

We are now standing outside a particular door that has a large combination keypad with which we need to provide a certain numeric combination. This code is only provided to those employees who are deemed suitable for this room entry privilege. Let’s enter the code 76806864. As I do so, the door quickly opens.

On entering the room, you will see some wooden chairs, desks, writing pads and an array of fountain pens filled with black ink. The room is completely white, quite cold and has no windows or paintings on the walls. You will notice that there are no electrical power outlets, no computers and more importantly, no noise. The only item adhered to the wall is a clock, but there are only numbers, no hour, minute or second hands, there is also no tick, apart from a warm yellow glow permeating from its circumference.

So what’s so special about this room you may ask? Well, in this room time “just stops”. Those entering the room do not age. Those people sitting at the work desks have quite literally an infinite amount of time to master and perfect any project they are working on. They can brainstorm and develop ideas that may take their fellow colleagues many lifetimes to progress, however in this room, they have all the time they require.

If you had access to this room, you too could be seen by your peers as a genius or a “high flyer”, the only limiting factor that you face is time, unlike those fortunate enough to have access to this secretive room.

So what are the learnings from our visit to this room?
1. Pink or Blue socks are quite comfortable compared to work shoes.
2. The access code is 76806864
3. This is the most important learning – Don’t let the concept of time limit your potential in your work career. You have unlimited time to do what you need to do and if you recognise and appreciate this fact, your stress will be reduced and your life will be rather more spiffy than it currently is at the moment.
4. And yes – unfortunately, this room does not exist in real life, but just imagine the possibilities if it actually did!
5. Just focus on items 1 and 3

The Chief Corporate Wardrobe Selector

The costume wardrobe room for a theatre production is an amazing and vibrant place. It contains a multitude of various clothing props in a range of sizes, colours, designs, accessories, time-periods and fashions; it is almost like entering a “house of fiction” where the options for selection, combination and use are endless!

If you observe those entering the room, they will look quite normal. They will wear the same traditional casual or work attire that most people would adorn. However, on leaving the room, they will have a completely different appearance. It is almost as if the actor discards their normal appearance and personality in the wardrobe room from which they depart with a tantalising and decidedly new modus operandi for their behaviour. This new profile may be assertive, reserved, allusive or seductive; the key requirement is that it is different; their clothes also complement and support their new character.

This got me thinking about how people behave in the corporate office. If you study your colleagues in your workplace, you will see a high frequency of suits, ties, skirts, shirts and jackets. But how often do you see someone adorning a bow tie, stylish tartan shorts, a bright pink fluoro shirt, a beret, or some other unique clothing item? The answer is most rarely, if ever!

An actor uses a range of clothing costumes to enhance their character and to instil and encourage certain qualities that they want to promote during their theatrical performance. If all of your work colleagues are dressed similarly, this may lead so a standardised thought and minimal opportunity for those creative individuals amongst you to fully express themselves in the corporate office? Some people may also receive that additional “spark of motivation” that accompanies the wearing of a costume to break free from their “reserved person label”?

Why not encourage this opportunity for corporate creativity by having an “office costume room” that all employees must walk through as they arrive at work? Each person would be required to select a different costume each day, under the supervision of the “Chief Corporate Wardrobe Selector”, to inspire a different way of thinking in the office. At the conclusion of the working day, employees would once again pass through the “office costume room” and change into their traditional clothing attire.

Just a thought, but maybe it will help people think that little bit differently?

The Achievement of “Mobility Optimization”

Roads these days now cater for a variety of users, all with differing needs and requirements. To do this, many a driver will have observed the ever growing emergence of a number of specialist lanes segmenting the bitumen for motorised vehicles, cyclists, roller skaters, skateboarders, those wanting to travel slowly, and of course pedestrians. Each lane is typically branded with a painted logo and may even enjoy a unique colour and/or road texture to provide additional differentiation.

No longer do roads just exist for the humble automobile, they now facilitate the movement of a many a mode of transport. The result is what I will term “mobility optimization”.

There is another transport corridor which could benefit greatly from the use of “mobility optimization”, and that is in the corporate office.

Most offices have a maze of corridors that link employees between various work stations, meeting rooms, food lounges and of course those dead-end traffic zones known as photocopy rooms. People are all walking at different speeds, some dawdling along in deep thought, others perched up against a wall enjoying some social interchange creating a walking hazard for others, some carefully juggling a number of work items such as computers, folders and a steaming long black coffee cup that is poised for spillage, others just in a hurry to get out of the building!

The solution is obvious! The corporate office needs to establish transit lanes in the workplace corridors to facilitate “mobility optimization”.

For those people in a hurry, their corridor lane could be made from polished floorboards to assist fast walking, running or even the use of corporate approved roller skates (furnishing the company logo) for the achievement of optimum speed around the building.

The slow walking lane would consist of a thick shag pile carpet, together with the occasional table and chair on which a number of drinking glasses would be placed to support and maintain the reduced speed objective.

Like on a freeway, where car breakdown zones exist on the side of the road out of harms way, office corridors would be designed with “dialog zones” where employees could stop and socialise in small out of the way “bunker nooks” that do not hinder those co-workers that are on the move.

Surveillance speed cameras could be mounted above each corridor to ensure the correct use of each lane. Those employees observed not following the “terms and conditions” of their selected lane usage, would receive a “mobility optimization infringement notice” that would be E-mailed to their work computer. Those repeat infringement offenders, would feel the wrath of the corporate wandering wofters! (a wrath that most people do not want to experience!).

So, in order to eliminate your corporate office of all movement hindrance resulting in transport inefficiency, may I suggest that you initiate a program of “mobility optimization” and enjoy a much more pleasant and effective office environment!