Office Fretification

There is a viral condition called “Office Fretification” (otherwise known as as OfficeFret) that is sweeping the corporate world globally. I’m sure many of you have seen it and are aware of the severe negative influence it can have on others, but didn’t know it had a name, or indeed a cure.

It’s frequently observed in employees who have a psychological intolerance that flares up as soon as they’re asked to leave the comfort of their snug home abode and return to the office to work. 

The origin of this devastating malady was COVID-19 when some employees gleefully packed up their desks and became accustomed to a blissful life of working from home for long periods of time. Gone were the days of actually conversing to a real person, or having to be transparent as to their work activities. At home they could hide behind their video conferencing avatar, be busy doing their own personal machinations, like cooking, walking the dog, or having a quiet snooze. 

But alas, all that changed once the COVID-19 vaccinations started to negate the reason for their newly cherished home lifestyle and they were requested to return to the office. Upon hearing this instruction, this is when the condition of OfficeFret starts to become most evident.

The OfficeFret symptoms are easily identified:

  1. “I don’t feel well, – I need to take sick leave”. It’s remarkable how easily a medical certificate materialises to validate the claim?
  2. “It’s too noisy in the office – I need quiet to think”. Funny that with so many empty desks in the office, not one of them could be used?
  3. “I have to get my car serviced, or a fridge needs to be delivered – so I need to work from home all day”. 

As the name suggests, the employee starts to fret and begins to implement a diversionary tactic to maintain their working from home bliss.

So how does an one treat an employee suffering with OfficeFret you may ask?

No medical script is required; rather it comes in the form of a termination letter. The sufferer of this malady then has a choice, they can come into the office, or stay out permanently where they can continue with the lifestyle they have become accustomed to, but minus the salary. 

Enough is enough.

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