The Aqua Suit

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For those currently experiencing the intense summer heat here in Australia you will understand that once all your clothes have been removed, there is no additional possibility of any extra cooling. Once you are naked, you are indeed naked.

The only remaining temperature survival option available to you is to place yourself in a chilly pre-prepared air-conditioned room, or fully immerse yourself in the nearest available pool, river or ocean.

However, should you be the wise owner of an Aqua Suit, you will be impervious to the heat, humidity, and any hot climatic air currents that may permeate your vicinity.

The Aqua Suit is unlike any conventional suit that you have ever worn. Its uniqueness lies in the 10-centimetre water layer that is cleverly entrapped between the inner impervious fabric that is comfortably touching your skin, and the outer protective coating. To keep the water cooled, there is a nifty thermostat discretely positioned in the stylish waist belt that can be set to your desired temperature comfort. An inbuilt turbine quietly pumps the cooling water solution around every part of your body to ensure full thermal satisfaction.

No need to worry about embarrassing leaks when in public as the Aqua Suit is made from a tough flexible fabric that can be purchased in an array of fashionable cloth like appearances, so you will confidently look the part at any social engagement.

Is there any noise? Not really, only a small sloshing sound that could quite easily be assumed as your stomach gurgling post an impressive eating or drinking session.

Will I look a tad chubby in the Aqua Suit? Put it this way, once you have explained the cooling benefits you are experiencing, you will immediately be the envy of all your friends so any thoughts of overweight negativity will be quickly dispersed.

Where can you buy one? Any reputable swimming pool shop should be able to assist you with your enquiry. However, if by some strange reason they haven’t heard of the Aqua Suit, or if they give you a raised eyebrow look of surprise, then you can contact the author of this blog post who, for a small fee, will happily lead you in the appropriate direction of cooling fulfilment.

So don’t be hot this summer, just get your body into an Aqua Suit and, feel the cool.

The CEO’s New Clothes

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It was day one of the new CEO’s appointment. A rather traditional dark grey suit, pristine white shirt, black medium length socks, complete with matching leather polished shoes were carefully selected by the incumbent for the momentous occasion. He looked resplendent as he beamingly sat behind his large impressive desk in a voluminous office that just oozed with status and authority. Yes, he was indeed the man!

As the week progressed, all of his direct reports, collectively, and individually, sat opposite him in business attire that directly mirrored his conservative fashion prowess, complete with continual nods of unquestionable beaming loyal approvals.

In a similar manner, their subordinates also quickly followed suit and continued the same fashion replication to the point where each employee now looked like a cloned version of their manager.

Now, the CEO was no fool, in fact, far from it, and a cunning plan of innovation was carefully hatched. From that day forth, he decided to wear the exact same clothes for a month. No item of clothing would be changed, apart from those that respectively should not be mentioned.

Over the days and weeks, a certain grubbiness came to gradually prevail over his attire, complete with an ensuing woft of persona that slowly increased with intensity.

He noticed with a somewhat predictable consternation a look of increasing shabbiness now starting to prevail throughout the entire organisation. Those pristine white shirts of his executive team were now witness to numerous blotches of large brown coffee stains, there were accumulated smears from too many self-indulgent lunches and dinners, and the severely wrinkled corporate flannel was now more noticeably beige in colour than white.

At the end of the month, the CEO thankfully wore a fresh set of clothes, and a quiet shout of thankful glee was heard rippling throughout the entire organisation, also from their customers, whose numbers had correspondingly dwindled over the weeks due to a severe lack of attention on their business.

Packaged in the sweet fresh smell of his new clothing attire, the crafty CEO now strategically pondered the learnings from the last four weeks from a perspective of corporate innovation:

  1. An organisation that has a workforce of clones is doomed to fail.
  2. Never mask any prevailing wofts, be they good or bad, that quickly permeate throughout the business as they are a clue that something is indeed amiss.
  3. Never wear the same clothes each day as personal creativity is the source of true innovation.
  4. Surround yourself with loud vocal thinkers, not those that quietly nod in constant agreement.

The following month, a brief memo from the CEO was quickly distributed advising that “a large number of the executive team had unanimously decided to pursue other career interests and that they had now left the building”.

From that day forth a plethora of brightly coloured paisley shirts, bespoke tailored suits, and even the occasional pair of spiffy shorts, were commonly seen thereby ensuring the ongoing innovation success of this particular company.

So should you be a CEO reading this blog post, do take note as the key to innovation does indeed lie within your wardrobe, and that of your employees.

 

The Very Social Idea

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If you have ever put yourself in the shoes of an idea, you would be exhausted!
Ideas are the biggest socialites in the known world and are universally recognised as the life of any party.

Ideas just hate the thought of being singular, they have an innate psychological need to be plural. Just put two solo ideas in a room and they will immediately start interacting with each other with a carefree and unrepentant promiscuity.

Ideas are also ageless, once created via a spark of unleashed human inspiration, they instantaneously become immortal and will happily congregate on mass within any hospitable corporate environment that willingly supports their requisite cosy culture of innovation.

However, there are some businesses that ideas have officially declared as a no-go zone. Those decreed as dull and boring organisations are like innovation vacuums that regrettably do not accommodate the individual and collective requirements of these festive wildlife thought manifestations. Once classified as an office of devastating inspirational lack, ideas will deliberately avoid these plagued businesses until a corporate culture of redemption has been successfully implemented, and publicly proven to be operationally effective. But once the requisite cultural correction has been made and externally communicated to the world of thought creation, then the ideas will fill the void with a gusto of spontaneity that would put any cashed-up pop-star to shame!

Now don’t assume that all ideas are identical. They are each different, and have a unique personality that frequently changes depending on their mood, and also to the environment to which they are exposed. But that diversity of thought is indeed their strength, as they, and their resultant factorially numbered offspring, all lead to a continual birth of new and wickedly clever innovations, none of which are ever the same.

So as a human, when next you walk into a corporate office and sense something unusually electric in the building, it is not your imagination, you are just responding to a large gathering of ideas having a hoot of a time!

The Virtual Innovation Librarian

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Why is it that some people just seem to have an endless plethora of brilliant ideas, whilst others struggle to generate just one? What’s the secret to their phenomenal creative success?

According to an obscure research paper soon to be published at some fictitious Boston University, the answer to these important questions is their illusive access to the highly prestigious, and most definitely secret, Virtual Innovation Librarian (VIT).

Respected sources advise that the VIT is an artificially intelligent imaginary persona that surreptitiously captures your unconscious thoughts when you are in mental state of slumber, or equivalent corporate boredom. The key requirement being, complete and total mindlessness. For those of you working in the corporate office, just think of all that untapped potential that lethargically resides in your vast employee database!

As the name suggests, the VIT is the keeper of an almost infinite number of thoughts that are meticulously categorised and indexed via the Dewey Decimal Idea Classification System (DDICS), following which, they are then permanently registered within a 4D electronic virtual depository. The DDICS classifications cover all good, and some of the not so good, ideation sparks of human life, business and various social activities from every person that has ever lived, or is currently alive, from the very first evolutionary stage when women and men decided it was time to think.

No, you don’t need a virtual library card to make a thoughtful withdrawal, the process is indeed much simpler and works via the following ingenious method:

  1. Deeply think of the problem that you want to solve.
  2. Open your mind and allow the VIT to have unrestricted access to all your inner thoughts and desires (some people call this mindfulness, meditation or just being lazy).
  3. The VIT then forages around with gusto in your cluttered mind trying to cross-match your nominated problem with all the other thoughts accumulated in the 4D electronic virtual depository.
  4. If a match is made with your problem, and no other person is wanting to also access that particular thought, you can borrow that idea and claim it as your own.
  5. However, there is a catch. These borrowed thoughts only reside in your mind for a limited time period, so if you don’t check them out and use the idea, you quickly lose the innovative solution (just like the content of a dream when you wake up, and rapidly forget the details).

Is there a charge for using this VIT ideation service?

No, it is complimentary to those individuals that recognise that innovation is an activity that needs to be continually worked, and shared freely amongst your work colleagues, thereby ensuring that there is a constant source of fresh ideas being generated for the future needs of mankind. As that saying goes, “give ideas, that you may receive ideas”.

For those businesses that don’t value innovation, well, the cost of the VIT will be well beyond your financial reserves, so may I suggest that you don’t bother thinking longer term, and just focus on enjoying today as your future is guaranteed to be rather uncertain.

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