Releasing Your Corporate Yogi

Business woman meditating outdoor over building background

There’s an emerging group of corporate innovators that are now inhabiting many a secluded office where they quickly pull down the blinds for privacy, lower the light intensity to achieve the optimum glow, add some enchanting music, and then nonchalantly roll out their rubber mats. Yes, they are doing yoga.

They arrive with minimal fuss, and happily disregard the usual business communicational banter as they set about preparing their eager minds for just the right emotional zone. Once in the requisite position, their yogi commences a routine with the objective of freeing their hampered corporate thoughts and bodies to allow the mindful process of true innovation to occur.

Now, for those of you new to the yoga experience, the following observations will help with your innovative assimilation.

The Yogi:
There is an instructor leading the class who will inspire your mind, and hopefully your body, to try new positions you never thought possible. They typically have a physique that has attained a state of perfect elasticity, which may yield a reflective look of total bewilderment on your face as to whether your desk bound tight body is slightly capable.

The Rubber Mat:
The rubber mat is an item that provides you with your own private yoga territory on the floor. But be warned, if you are thinking that there is sufficient cushioning to facilitate a state of comfortable slumber, you are indeed mistaken. Its purpose is to provide adequate grip, some basic hard surface relief, but more importantly to signify that you are a true believer of the yoga experience and have given your physical and mental consent to yourself, and those around you.

The Poses:
You will hear many phrases that make sense once you are in the position, such as “the downward facing dog”. However, should you be a novice, may I suggest that you look at the more experienced members in the group as this will provide a more obvious insight, as your “dog” may appear more like a “mouse”.

The Clothes:
Personal modesty is important as you will stretch your body into positions where certain body parts may unintentionally pop out. But as the lighting in the room is quite low, it is unlikely that anyone will see, so relax, except for maybe the Yogi who will quickly hide their smirk in order to avoid mutual embarrassment. As such, make sure that you wear clothes that maintain your respected level of corporate decency.

Once fully immersed in the complete yoga experience, your body will extend into numerous positions of the previous unknown, and with the right breathing, any pain that may initially be experienced will quickly turn to mindful pleasure. It is through this process that you, and your fellow work colleagues, will achieve the desired state of innovative nirvana.

So, should you be wanting to open your mind to allow a new vision of innovation in, the answer is simple. Do yoga, and all will be mindfully revealed.

The Virtual Innovation Librarian

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Why is it that some people just seem to have an endless plethora of brilliant ideas, whilst others struggle to generate just one? What’s the secret to their phenomenal creative success?

According to an obscure research paper soon to be published at some fictitious Boston University, the answer to these important questions is their illusive access to the highly prestigious, and most definitely secret, Virtual Innovation Librarian (VIT).

Respected sources advise that the VIT is an artificially intelligent imaginary persona that surreptitiously captures your unconscious thoughts when you are in mental state of slumber, or equivalent corporate boredom. The key requirement being, complete and total mindlessness. For those of you working in the corporate office, just think of all that untapped potential that lethargically resides in your vast employee database!

As the name suggests, the VIT is the keeper of an almost infinite number of thoughts that are meticulously categorised and indexed via the Dewey Decimal Idea Classification System (DDICS), following which, they are then permanently registered within a 4D electronic virtual depository. The DDICS classifications cover all good, and some of the not so good, ideation sparks of human life, business and various social activities from every person that has ever lived, or is currently alive, from the very first evolutionary stage when women and men decided it was time to think.

No, you don’t need a virtual library card to make a thoughtful withdrawal, the process is indeed much simpler and works via the following ingenious method:

  1. Deeply think of the problem that you want to solve.
  2. Open your mind and allow the VIT to have unrestricted access to all your inner thoughts and desires (some people call this mindfulness, meditation or just being lazy).
  3. The VIT then forages around with gusto in your cluttered mind trying to cross-match your nominated problem with all the other thoughts accumulated in the 4D electronic virtual depository.
  4. If a match is made with your problem, and no other person is wanting to also access that particular thought, you can borrow that idea and claim it as your own.
  5. However, there is a catch. These borrowed thoughts only reside in your mind for a limited time period, so if you don’t check them out and use the idea, you quickly lose the innovative solution (just like the content of a dream when you wake up, and rapidly forget the details).

Is there a charge for using this VIT ideation service?

No, it is complimentary to those individuals that recognise that innovation is an activity that needs to be continually worked, and shared freely amongst your work colleagues, thereby ensuring that there is a constant source of fresh ideas being generated for the future needs of mankind. As that saying goes, “give ideas, that you may receive ideas”.

For those businesses that don’t value innovation, well, the cost of the VIT will be well beyond your financial reserves, so may I suggest that you don’t bother thinking longer term, and just focus on enjoying today as your future is guaranteed to be rather uncertain.

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