Will A.I. yield the right answer?

Everywhere one looks these days, the term A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) is bound to be seen. For those that are in the know, be they academics, corporates, or maybe just like you and I, everyone has an opinion about how it will drive innovation and be the visionary oracle of future thoughts.

But I’m not sure?

Those who are believers, inform us that A.I. is indeed the acknowledged master at identifying those minute signals of information that us mere human mortals just cannot see or understand. It then cleverly invokes its phenomenal artificial brain prowess to analyse, construct and then inform us of a forthcoming trend, be it immediate, or to occur in the fullness of time.  Some of us, who will not be named, willingly accept this information without any timely critique as to its relevance or validity.

Now a question for you to ponder. If we nonchalantly accept this A.I. prediction, will this prophecy actually become a reality? In the words of Shakespeare, “For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Therefore, if we blindly accept this A.I. prediction, will our thinking make it real?

But wait. What if we provide a counter acronym, and one that is more humanly discerned than the letters A.I., that being “Almost Intelligent” (aka AL.I.)?

Let’s apply this revised concept of A.I. to two well-known and universal scenarios to test this AL.I. variant theory.

Scenario 1: Teenage Children

Many parents leave the dishwasher door open in the hope that their teenage son or daughter will pick up their dirty dinner plate and cutlery and place it diligently in the nominated kitchen equipment with minimal or no fuss. Over a period of days and even months, strategic clues are left either verbally or physically for the intended recipient. If the traditional A.I. analysis process was invoked, these parental signals may have a different interpretation, such as mess is good, dirty plates have a fashionable place on the kitchen bench, or their bedroom floors, or that parents enjoy leaving cryptic hints as part of some intriguing treasure hunt gamification.
But if the application of AL.I. is invoked, the applied combination of all these parental signals, complete with the requisite human intervention would lead to a different outcome, that being, “Put them in the dishwasher, now!”
The AL.I. analysis results are in no doubt, nor misunderstanding by any of the participants.

Using a similar theme, let’s consider Scenario 2: A Messy Desk

Yes, I acknowledge that some of us do value the benefits derived from having a messy desk, particularly as it is reported by those who reportedly know better to foster and encourage an innovative mindset. However, using the traditional version of A.I., how would it interpret these desk presented signals, and then construct a logical conclusion? Those that support the philosophy that “mess is best” know that there is no systematic methodology being used to obtain the desired visual output, rather it is perhaps based on the individual’s mood, emotion, and a somewhat random and possibly perceived lazy personal disposition that may prevail at that point, and other times, in the working day.
A.I. hasn’t got a hope in analyzing this human trait, but AL.I, when combined with our visual receptivity and knowledge of the individual involved would immediately understand what is being demonstrated by the occupier of the desk in question.

So, the conclusion is that a word of caution is most definitely required when discussing the virtues of A.I.

Hence, for those of us seeking a better, and more possibly reliable analysis technique, may I suggest that the term AL.I. be used, where the application of a little bit of human thought could greatly improve the outcome where, “thinking may not make it so, but maybe”.

Heed the Turtleneck

If you want to experience that cuddly innovative feeling in your corporate office, then simply pop your head through the neck of a fashionable turtleneck jumper and your desires of creative longing will immediately be fulfilled.

Now, for those of you that are currently a wearer of the world-famous turtleneck design, you will know exactly what I mean as you will have already grasped this cosy concept by the scruff of the knitted circular neck.

So why the turtleneck? Well, according to a soon to be published article in some obscure global publication, it’s apparently due to the ingenious design. The unique construction continuously directs and squeezes imaginative thoughts and emotions in a highly coordinated manner from the arms, chest, and other lower body regions towards the neck, and then ultimately up into the wearer’s mind. It is analogous to an “innovative thought-pump” where a rhythmic array of creative beats effortlessly proceed unhindered whilst the body-hugging jumper continues to be worn.

But alas, not all turtlenecks are the same as the colour selection acts as a creative thought catalyst for the wearer. The key is to know what colour works best for you, as the wrong choice could lead to the opposite effect where the wearer becomes passive, boring, or even ridiculed. The colour black seems to be most popular, particularly with those messy creatives as it hides and disguises an endless number of sins that are deemed by many an uneducated observer as being messy.

Another item for consideration is the number of neck rolls on your turtleneck collar. May I remind you that the jumper’s design is to forcefully pump creativity to your head, too many neck rolls may lead to a massive idea overload where the wearer may become lightheaded and eventually faint. As such, if you are a novice to this fashion accessory, the medical recommendation is to initially try a single neck roll, with time, additional rolls may be added, once proven.

Now should you be one of these turtleneck wearers with an abundance of chest hairs, be you a man, a woman, or other, there is another warning that you should heed. This is when a recalcitrant and stoic hair decides to permeate through the woven woollen fabric and nonchalantly peak through for some additional visual gratification. You and your hairs may not mind this display, but it can potentially be a little off putting for those who lack your hairy chest blessing and are quietly jealous.

So may I suggest that you unbutton your business shirts, place them back on the hanger in your wardrobe, and confidently replace them with a turtleneck jumper. Your ability to innovate will quickly prevail, and your appearance will warrant many a look of approval from your work colleagues and friends.  

It’s not about Me, it’s about We.

For those that want to be truly innovative, may I suggest that you focus on the collective and not wholly on your individual perception of what you think is brilliant. Yes, you may believe that you alone are the source of many wonderful and creative ideas, but how do you know that they actually are, unless you share them with someone else and seek their objective feedback or opinions?

To be creative, you need engagement, and ideally this should be done within the same room or space, not remotely. In fact, a recent study conducted by Stanford University indicated that face-to-face meetings generated more ideas than if the same interaction was conducted virtually. For those of you that work in a creative environment, this is yet another good reason as to why you and your fellow staff should be working in a communal office, or studio, and not from home. Put simply, physical collaboration breeds and promotes optimum creativity.

The ideas of the “Me” might seem to be good, but when combined with those of the “We” and then with the “They”, the outcome just seems to work better and is ultimately more successful.

For example, consider coffee. You may grow what you think are the world’s best coffee beans (the “Me” idea). Whether they are deemed good or bad, depends on how they compare with your competition and this is typically achieved via the process of discussion and comparison (with the “We”). Of course, you do have a choice in this decision. Should you elect not to, you will never know the outcome, but then again, you may be happy in your ignorance. But to really check the validity of the beans they need to transformed into an actual hot, steaming cup of coffee manufactured via a range of intertwined process transformations that eventually require the application of a coffee pot, water and heat (the sum being the “They”). The final test being the actual coffee consumption, but even then, people have different tastes and expectations. Although very much a simple example, it does demonstrate that ideas need to be worked and tested via interactions with the “We” and the “They”, not just based on the perceptions of the “Me”.

The COVID pandemic forced many employees to work from home, many of which are still reluctant to return to the office for a variety of practical and personal reasons. However, should you want to be at your most creative, the power of the “We” needs to be considered even though the benefits of the “Me” may seem most enchanting and persuasive.

Another factor for consideration is the ability to visually see and engage with the powerful ideation catalysts of experience and mentoring when physically situated in the office, rather than being electronically portrayed via a two dimensional image personified in a video conference. Yes, a picture can say a thousand words, but a real life interaction tells a more powerful and enriching story.

So if your objective is innovation, the answer is simple. Move past the “Me”.

 

 

 

 

2035 Business Graduation Address

It is a great honour to be looking at you all as I sit in your individual home offices virtually via hologram. For those of you that made an effort to tidy your work-spaces, wear the non-standard tracky pants and have a business-like appearance, I applaud you for trying something different and unusual.

Please note that I have turned off the odour link in this presentation. The woft of coffee from some of your living abodes is indeed most enticing, but there was a rather distinct and a tad offensive smell originating from one of you so for the sake of all those participating, you will no longer be able to access this function in the hologram conference setting.

Today is your day, so enjoy it.

As you now enter the corporate workforce where you will be asked to work at least a 15 hour week (two days in the old business language), make sure you do dedicate some time in your busy work-life schedule for actual work. I know it’s a big ask, but your employer will expect nothing less.

By comparison, when I was in your shoes (for those of you that don’t wear any, it’s a metaphor), my employer actually insisted that we work in a physical office, sitting next to real people for five nominated days per week, these being Monday to Friday. We also arrived and departed at the same time each day. I know this concept is truly foreign to you all, but there were some learnings to this rather archaic practice that you might find interesting and beneficial as you commence your business careers armed with your digital graduation certificates.

1. Working in an Office

To many off you, this will be a concept that you have only read about, or watched in old movies, but it did occur. Employees really did cohabitate in buildings for prescribed hours in the working day. There were many benefits, the main one being physical interaction where you could communicate with a co-worker, not in a virtual sense, but in real life.
Meeting rooms had four physical walls, a roof and a floor. Those encapsulated in the room entered and departed via a door. You saw the whole person, they could not be muted, or turn off their camera. Once located in the room, you had to focus on the nominated activity, you couldn’t pretend to be there, or nominate a stand-in avatar of yourself, you had to actually concentrate and participate on the meeting agenda.

2. Travelling to and from the Office

Employees literally did travel to the office. The choice of travel was left entirely to the individual, it was not mandated. This could be done via car, public transport, pedal power, or other forms of transportation. The only requisite was that you arrived and left work at a nominated time each day. By doing this, your work colleagues had the optimum opportunity for engagement.

3. Interstate and Overseas

Yes, those working on business did truly leave the office and travel to see customers, colleagues or develop and progress new relationships. In the olden days, we enjoyed face-to-face interaction, particularly when meeting someone for the first time.
The main mode of travel used was the aeroplane. There was even a section on the aircraft called “Business Class” that catered for the needs of those travelling on business, not pleasure.

4. Business Attire

This you will most likely find unbelievable, but we dressed up each day when we attended the office. There was such a thing called “corporate attire” which was typically a jacket, shirt and trousers, women occasionally wore a skirt or a dress. Now and then, men would even wear a tie, which was an expensive piece of cloth wrapped around the collar of the shirt.
Why would we do this? A good question, as I see many of you squirming in your casual clothes. It was done out of respect for your colleagues, where you tried to make them feel valued and important. It also differentiated business from home and assisted in putting your mind into work-mode.
Nowadays, you can do this by simply changing your avatar, but the concept most likely originated in the days of yesteryear when we all worked in the office.


But enough of the past. Your time is now. Please make the most of it.

But I do have one additional thought for you to keep and ponder. Don’t forget the historical benefits of working in an actual office because one day, although highly improbable, there may be a power or battery failure, which would result in no virtual engagement of any kind. Should this occur, you would have to actually talk to a work colleague in a physical and real work setting! So please be prepared for this unlikely, but potentially possible eventuality, you just never know, do you?

The Ankle Revolution

There’s been a quiet revolution slowly perambulating with the male anatomy that is only just now starting to get a foothold with men of all ages. It was typically hidden, but is now wanting to be set free and seen by all without any visual or physical containment. Yes, I am talking about the ankle.

For centuries, this “legular” bodily part has been trapped within various forms of tubular fabric where any potentially prying socially acceptable eyes had no chance of observing or encountering it. Similarly, the ankle is unmistakably optically pristine with the enduring retention of its native infant colour as sunlight has not had the opportunity to scorch any skin with its radiation enhancing imprint.

The male ankle is living proof of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. The common male leg has been, and still is, known, appreciated and admired for the copious covering of hairs that nonchalantly sprout forth and permeate from the man’s lower hip, all the way down to his upper foot. But, according to those that are supposedly in the know, the ankle of primitive man used to be as equally hairy as the leg. However, following eons of forced sock application in the name of fashion and moral decency, all remnants of male ankle hairs have now disappeared due to the constant rubbing and follicle fabric abrasion of the restrictive foot covering.

But the ankle has had enough and a sock rebellion has been gradually gathering momentum with a hairy foundation beneath the legs of men of all ages.

Some of the more fashion conscious amongst us may have noticed it, others may have not, but once it has been brought to your attention, you will never look at a male ankle in the same way ever again.

Yes, ankles of men want and demand to be free. They are seeking full visual exposure without the hindrance of fabric or any imposed restraint. Their hairs want to grow back and fill the bald ankle void that has plagued mankind for far too long. It’s now their time in man’s evolution history.

Their demands are simple. The days of long socks has now ceased, men will only wear low-cut socks, or none at all. Now that this fashion statement has been brought to your attention, you undoubtedly have seen it, but maybe didn’t realise its origins or significance.

Socks used to be worn to complete the visual transition from the upper business shoe to the base of the suit trouser leg. But have you noticed that some men are now electing a more casual business attire where the sock selection is no longer required? It’s all part of the ankle revolution!

Who knows for how long the ankle will be allowed to have this innovative freedom. Fashions change, and with time the ankle may indeed yet again lose its liberty. But at least it had a go!

The Winner is Football

To some, they are your sister, girlfriend, daughter, spouse or maybe even your mother, but don’t be fooled. Each year, around January, a psychological and physical change occurs where these young women loosen their rituals of normality and quickly transform into fierce football gladiators. The game they play is called the AFLW.

These athletes are united by their club colours where they immediately obtain a respectful and deserved nod of inclusion from their male counterparts, management team, the loyal supporter base and the media.

On the playing field, there are no sisterhood pleasantries. The game is conducted with only one objective, that being to win, and to hear your club team song booming through the stadium’s sound system signalling your momentous victory over the defeated cowing opposition for all to hear, applaud and appreciate.

The game is quick, brutal and requires continual training and stamina. The tackles on the oval are made without any reservation or fear of personal injury. These women take no prisoners and do not back away from a conflict.

The players come from many diverse backgrounds. There is no elitism, class, or any form of selective exclusion. The only criteria for selection is your attitude, complemented with an athletic ability to conquer your opponent via your football skills and team spirit.

These women provide the corporate office with many learnings, the biggest of all being persistence. Women for many years have had the want, the skills and the fortitude to play this great football game at both junior and senior levels. They have been blocked on numerous occasions, but now they have the ball firmly in their hands and it will never be taken away from them. The moral for business is, never give up when you know an idea is right. But when you do finally get the opportunity to progress it, make sure you kick the ball firmly between the big sticks so there is no doubt as to the result.

Women, the AFLW game is now yours. Enjoy it, just as much as we enjoy watching you play it.   

The Modern Business Card that Lingers

When many of us first started our professional working careers, the first item that we were provided with that showed our unique place in the corporate ladder was our own personalised business card. This compact rectangular shaped card was gleefully handed out and exchanged with many a new and prospective business recipient when meeting them for the first time. It contained all our contact details and could be used for work, or even for some private and more secretive after hour’s purposes.

As our working careers progressed, we collected and exchanged numerous quantities of these items which had to be continually updated as our personal details changed or became superseded.

But what about the present? Alas, the days of the business card are indeed finite and the act of giving and receiving is quickly becoming an obsolete process of the past. Nowadays, we use our smart phones or computers to store a person’s name and contact details electronically, complete with a stunning photograph, or even a creative avatar.

However, for those of us who are innovative and seek to leave a lasting impression when you meet a new and potential friend for the first time, there is a calling card that allows you to mark your presence with a lingering duration, even when you have departed the room.

Yes, you can have your own special signature, one that readily identifies you in any work or social environment, and one that morphs into various olfactory forms depending on what mood or activity you are doing.  

Both women and men of yesterday used to dab and spray it on various parts of their bodies and it was commonly known as perfume, eau de toilette, cologne, aftershave, and some even called strange names such as “Brut 33” or “Old Spice”.  

When a woman, or man, wore these artfully fabricated odorous liquids and entered or passed you in a room, you immediately knew it. There was no need for the use of a business card as their presence was noticed and appreciated. With frequent interaction, the wearer quickly became recognised by their scent, and appreciation and respect followed accordingly.

So for all you seekers of progression in all that you do, the solution is simple. Go to your department store and purchase a small bottle of a fragrance that matches your personality. Splash it on with abundance, and let your smell be your business card and you will not be forgotten.  

Trench Coat: An item of COVID Necessity

The feeling of fear immediately wells up inside you as you slowly open your long forgotten wardrobe door and contemplate what you will wear when you are finally allowed to return to the office following months of forced COVID-19 lockdown. Will any items of clothing in your extensive array of expensive corporate attire manage to contain your newly acquired casual and carefree body shape after weeks of continual psychological induced snacking?

Relax, as there is one item of clothing that every corporate professional must have in their possession that will protect your emotional esteem and sanity. It’s colloquially known as the Trench Coat, but for you, it will be your must-have body shape saviour and mental wellbeing protector.

Many of us know the Trench Coat via the famed Hollywood mystique associated with Humphrey Bogart who wore this mighty coat complete with a stylish Fedora peak brimmed hat. But, do we remember what he wore under his coat? The answer to this question being a definitive no, and why should we know, nor care?

Here in lies the charm of the Trench Coat with its tailored double-breasted format that nonchalantly flares to below the wearer’s knee hemline, complete with an array of buttons and impressive shoulder epaulettes.  

The Trench Coat is the perfect visual and environmental protector for any preying eyes that may seek to notice a slighter larger, and somewhat potentially plumper body lying within the constraints of the outer khaki fabric.

Many an office onlooker that does not possess such a grand and imposing coat will be totally oblivious to whatever clothing you may be wearing, or not wearing, under this outer garment, should this clothing be a tad too snug, or surreptitiously popping apart at the seams, or indeed absent. Yes, the Trench Coat will be the only item of clothing that their eyes seek and focus upon.

The Trench Coat is your everywhere coat. It protects your bodily shaped persona whilst you are travelling to and from work, and can even be worn with ease at your desk with the selective unclasping of one or two strategically placed buttons, complete with the mind assuring knowledge that at least one button still remains intact thereby keeping your pudgified body visually and masterly contained.  

For those fortunate employees that do have a Trench Coat unassumingly residing in your wardrobe, relax, as you can happily return to the corporate office with the calming knowledge that your COVID-19 embellished body is fully protected. But alas, if you don’t, now is the time to quickly buy a majestic Trench Coat before many an office worker reading this blog post makes a speedy dash to their local department store to seek and purchase this essential item of clothing.

There’s a Bear in The Office

Office Workers, have you noticed that someone is missing from your home, and has been for quite a few months? 

Yes, whilst you have been subjected to ongoing lockdowns and government edicts where you are commanded to work from home owing to COVID, we, your furry stuffed friends have been having a hoot of a time! And, I suspect that with all the mess you have effortlessly created in your home work environment, you would be none the wiser and have just assumed that somewhere, lying patiently for you under yet another pile of clothes is your well-loved Teddy Bear. Well, you are most definitely wrong!

Truth be told, we went to where you were not, that being your office. What a paradise! We also can’t understand why any human would frequently use that common phrase so often heard when they arrived back home after work, “I’m glad that day is over”! What bollocks! You humans don’t know just how lucky you are, and, unfortunately for you, so now do we. 

Your office is really a large Fun House, one that fully captures the innovative imagination of many a Teddy Bear who is looking for adventure and a creative outlet following many years of sitting stationary in a lonely bedroom or shelf. 

However, we do have some gripes and would like to bring these to your urgent attention.  

Gripe 1: Elevators
The elevator buttons are just too high. As a Teddy Bear with a full six inches of height, I cannot reach any of the buttons, regardless of high I jump. I’ve also tried standing on the shoulders of my fellow Teddy Bears, but to no avail. The result is walking up many flights of stairs, and with time, and friction, our paws will become rather straggly and dirty, and no bears likes that, let me assure you.

Gripe 2: Desks
We Teddy Bears desperately need an access ladder that enables your furry friend to effortlessly scale up to the desk top where we can flick on the computer switch to access Spotify, YouTube and other bear recreational pursuits. And whilst we are talking computers, could you get the IT Department to unblock some sites, the lack of access is really quite unbearable.

Gripe 3: Bathroom
Talking of things being too high, you know what I mean, don’t you!

But there are indeed some positives, so don’t think that we Teddy Bears see the glass as half empty all the time (btw, my apologies to the CEO, his precious crystal glass strategically positioned on his desk was regrettably knocked over in a game of table soccer, however, it was a stunning goal!). 

Positive 1: Desk Chairs
Once you get the momentum up with a spinning desk chair, it’s just like a merry-go-round. However, we found that there is a terminal spin threshold, once above it, no Teddy Bear can hold on and bears can then indeed fly!

Positive 2: Corridors
These are typically carpeted, which are perfect for our paws. They are wide and long. The ideal setting for a game of cricket, carpet bowls, or other games for recreational bear pursuits.

Positive 3: No Humans
Need I say anymore!

So my dear human. There are some good things from COVID, the most important one being that you are at home, and we are in your vacant office. I know that you will return one day, but until then, Teddy Bear life is bliss!

The COVID Nature of Hairs

If you are looking for a brilliant example of innovation, look no further than nature. Yes, this quiet creative achiever just gets on with its corrective business with minimal fuss or pomposity. Just look at all of mankind’s environmental mistakes, of which there are numerous. Thankfully, with time, some of which may unfortunately take many centuries, nature’s extensive tentacles scour through our human mess and methodically put right, what we have destroyed. Nature has been man’s environmental savior since the beginning or time. 

These mysterious machinations apply to all that we do and touch, nothing can be hidden from the probing eyes of nature. This will ultimately apply to the disastrous effect of COVID which has forced us all to modify many aspects of our daily behaviours, one of which being the wearing of the face-mask.

In many countries all around the world, the application of a face-mask has become mandatory, and rightly so for the protection of the individual, and most definitely for the surrounding community. But have you noticed that there is one part of human nature that is already staking a curative claim to the face being perpetually covered? This surreptitious activity appears to be more common in men, and potentially with some women, the later of which may never be acknowledged publicly, but it is quietly growing. The culprit is facial hair and it has made a bold decision to rise forth in rebellion to the face-mask. Hairs no longer want to be hidden; they want to be seen, and nature is facilitating this activity via numerous forms of creativity. 

For those of us that partake in the daily ritual of shaving, you will have noticed that your facial stubble is thicker and more intense. Yes, this has not occurred by accident as your cunning facial hairs have been strategically plotting this burst of growth whilst you innocently slept in total ignorance of the mutiny. 

Have you also noticed an increasing need to trim your nasal hairs? Once more, the creativity of nature yet again in demonstrable action to protect the sanity of your face-mask hidden nose. 

The role of nature is to uncover and correct what mankind tries feebly to hide. It’s good to know that with time, nature will eventually eliminate COVID, but whilst we eagerly wait, make sure that the blades on your shaver are sharp as you will certainly need it for many days to come. 

%d bloggers like this: