The Winner is Football

To some, they are your sister, girlfriend, daughter, spouse or maybe even your mother, but don’t be fooled. Each year, around January, a psychological and physical change occurs where these young women loosen their rituals of normality and quickly transform into fierce football gladiators. The game they play is called the AFLW.

These athletes are united by their club colours where they immediately obtain a respectful and deserved nod of inclusion from their male counterparts, management team, the loyal supporter base and the media.

On the playing field, there are no sisterhood pleasantries. The game is conducted with only one objective, that being to win, and to hear your club team song booming through the stadium’s sound system signalling your momentous victory over the defeated cowing opposition for all to hear, applaud and appreciate.

The game is quick, brutal and requires continual training and stamina. The tackles on the oval are made without any reservation or fear of personal injury. These women take no prisoners and do not back away from a conflict.

The players come from many diverse backgrounds. There is no elitism, class, or any form of selective exclusion. The only criteria for selection is your attitude, complemented with an athletic ability to conquer your opponent via your football skills and team spirit.

These women provide the corporate office with many learnings, the biggest of all being persistence. Women for many years have had the want, the skills and the fortitude to play this great football game at both junior and senior levels. They have been blocked on numerous occasions, but now they have the ball firmly in their hands and it will never be taken away from them. The moral for business is, never give up when you know an idea is right. But when you do finally get the opportunity to progress it, make sure you kick the ball firmly between the big sticks so there is no doubt as to the result.

Women, the AFLW game is now yours. Enjoy it, just as much as we enjoy watching you play it.   

Bobble Protection

At the first sighting of the bobble, you immediately know that the weather is getting colder and that it’s time to quickly equip your sensitive head with this trusted and simple form of thermal protection. Its application is simple, just pop it on with minimal fuss or effort.

The humble and stylish bobble cap has been a trusted companion for many an exposed cranium. It first came to prominence in France when their fashionable, and highly intrepid sailors utilised the bobble as impact protection against potentially annoying low ship ceiling impacts when the waves became a tad too rough and violent.  

As the years progressed, the bobble gradually traversed the milliner barriers of naval seamen to those fortunate land based civilians with equal head appreciation. However, its purpose was now that of a visual stimulant, just like what is achieved when a glacial red cherry is strategically popped on top of a scoop of ice-cream.

So we thought….

COVID-19 has changed everything. Buried deep in a nonchalant medical laboratory in Melbourne, Australia, sits an intelligent, sophisticated man who is a research graduate specialising in virus containment. He is an avid follower of Australian Rules Football, his team being the mighty Geelong, where the colours are blue and white. He attends each game, dressed impeccably in his team jumper, scarf, complete with matching beanie, a blue bobble centrally located on top. However, on this remarkable occasion, whilst observing his fellow colour matched compatriots, he has, for some unknown reason, experienced what many a master of innovation classifies as a “Eureka moment of creativity”! The source of this moment of excitement being, none other than, the Geelong bobble.

Hold this thought….

In Australia, and in all countries around the world, it is difficult to tell who has been vaccinated and who hasn’t. One solution is to legislate that every fully vaccinated person, regardless of their age, carry a card of certification with them at all times. But, this methodology is fraught with potential danger as the majority of people are either forgetful, stupid, or just too lazy.

But, individuals of all ages do love to wear hats. And why not, as they enable the wearer to express their unique personality, can also signify membership in an organisation, school or team. Hats come in many shapes and sizes, can have a bobble, stalk (as in a beret), ribbon or band, and can be purchased in a plethora of different colours.

The innovative solution….

It was this concept that excited and stimulated the immense intellect of our Geelong football club supporter as he sat on the edge of that famous oval situated within Kardinia Park. The phenomenal solution being colour. For those that have been fully vaccinated, the colour of blue would be used for the bobble (or hat equivalent). For those half vaccinated, a light blue colour, for those unvaccinated, any other colour could apply. The solution, being colourfully simple.

So next time you see a bobble, have some respect for this spherical fibrous cluster as it has protected mankind throughout the centuries, and it will continue to do so for many years to come.

That Collingwood Road Behaviour

Aarne

It was raining heavily and I could just see the black car’s white dull headlights behind me as I was travelling at 105 kilometres/hour along the M1 Motorway. He was tailgating me so closely that I easily observed the agitated, and rather nasty looking facial expression of the aggressive, toothless driver in between the fast swishing movement of his windscreen wipers. I tried to move out of his way, but couldn’t, owing to the heavy traffic congestion in the other lanes, so I just tolerated his unpleasantness for the next minute as he followed in my slipstream.

He flashed his lights, honked his horn and gave me a finger gesture that I presumed was not one of friendship. I just waved back at him, but I don’t think it was appreciated in a positive manner as he responded with additional fist waving and a sneer on his face that was well suited to the most passionate Collingwood* football club supporter.

Finally, he saw a tight opening in an adjacent lane and like a magpie swooped into it without any hesitation. Unfortunately for him, it was a tad too snug, particularly as it was bordered by two large trucks which were startled by his sudden movement that caused the front truck driver to slam on his brakes. My impatient “friend’s” car slammed into the back of the truck at full force leading to chaos for all concerned. Mayhem soon prevailed as the carnage was littered all over the road.

Yes, this is fiction, particularly as those you know me, as I would never travel at 105 kilometres/hour in the fast lane! But, let’s think about this driver’s behaviour from a business perspective.

How many employees in your corporate office follow the same methodology, or route of behaviour, in a stayed and undeviating manner every day? It’s just like that impatient “Collingwood driver” that follows so closely the car in front that they can’t see what obstacles are approaching due to their limited vision of the business journey ahead.

A good driver continually looks out for those frequently changing road conditions and adjusts their speed accordingly. If a major roadblock is identified, they could wait for it to be cleared, but instead they quickly and wisely manoeuvre around it to find a more strategic approach.

Why do most businesses tolerate the lemming employee that just blindly follows those in front of them without any question or thought? Why not encourage a variety of driver skills that can cope and excel in numerous business conditions? Some employees will need to be trained to cope with high speeds, others off road terrains, some the more conservative stop-start city driving, but all of them need to know how to recognise potential danger and the process for steering around it.

So next time you see a driver with that “Collingwood appearance” in your rear view mirror, just let them go past unhindered as they have no idea where they are going, and are regrettably only thinking a few metres in front of their nose (assuming they can see it)!

———

* Collingwood Football Club: http://www.collingwoodfc.com.au/

The Office Runner

Sherrin (201/365)

Equipped rather splendidly in my black sports shorts, bright fluorescent yellow T-shirt and spiffy football boots, I stand by the Australian Rules Football (AFL) coach awaiting my detailed instructions to personally deliver to the targeted players during the game. My esteemed and strategic role within the game is that of “Runner”. As the name suggests, I have the privileged position of being able to run out on to the football field during the game to motivate the players and to deliver words of encouragement and tactics that have a direct real-time influence on the outcome of the contest.

Besides demonstrating my extreme athletic prowess with which I sprint out to the players at top speed (however I must admit some less kind people have called me a “Meanderer”, rather than a “Runner”) to deliver the coaches instructions, I also need to have the skills of an actor and a mentor. Each instruction needs to be customised to meet the listening requirements of the various player recipients in order to achieve maximum receptivity and message understanding. Some players can accept a message that is bold and direct, other players need to be encouraged and wooed in order to fully absorb the details of the instructions, however some players just need a good verbal tirade of abuse.

The role of “Runner” in the corporate office got me thinking. Many businesses use a common form of communication that is designed to reach the largest number of employees as possible. This may be done via E-mails, Bulletins, Newsletters and other such mass distributions. The information take-up and understanding by the individual employee is in most cases rather poor, or rather confused. So why not have a number of cleverly trained Corporate Communication Runners (CCR) that frequent the office corridors?

The CCR would be dressed in a special corporate uniform. Many of you reading this blog post may be thinking runners, tracksuit pants and a T-shirt, but that’s a tad too boring for the CCR. Rather, I’m visualising the CCR dressed in a tight fitting bright body suit (pink, yellow or green) with the corporate logo branded on their back and a nice sounding bell attached to a belt hanging from their waist to announce their arrival as they leap through the office.

The CCR would be entrusted to take specific instructions from the CEO and then personally deliver them to the various key employees throughout the building to provide maximum message impact and acceptance.

However, there is an additional role for the CCR in that they would also convey messages, or employee mood back to the CEO so they fully understand the feeling within the organization.

Yes, these CCRs would be very busy! But the role of the CCR is a very important one within the corporate office, and one that I would suggest be considered somewhat more seriously than this blog post suggests?

Just a thought….

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