Should it be Short, or Long?

1900-50_skirt_lengths-742737

There is a question that has been frustrating both women and men for years, that being, what is the perfect length? Should it be short, or long? After extensive academic research, it appears that the simple answer is, it depends entirely on how you feel at a particular point in time.

In 1926, the economist George Taylor at the Wharton School of Business developed the Hemline Index after he noticed a connection between economic prosperity and short skirts. The shorter the skirt, the higher the Index.

A soon to be world renowned Director of Thought Creation developed The Suit Trouser Length Creativity Index that purported a direct correlation with an individual’s innovation tendencies, that being, the greater the distance between the trouser cuff and their shoes, the higher the creativity.

Following years of Gaelic research, a lesser-known historian from Glasgow University found a similar link between kilt length and the courage exhibited by a Scotsman in battle. Apparently, the shorter the kilt, the greater number of thistle scratches which stimulated the wearer’s shouting and running ability.

Utilising all this extensive research, including many additional and worthy obscure publications, The House of Cloth is pleased to announce the AppCloth.

Yes, the AppCloth is now available for those discerning fashion wearers that want to match their daily creativity mood with their personal designer clothing selections. Through the use of a patented, and very clever biometric length analyser linked to the wearer’s iPhone, the AppCloth calculates how the individual is feeling. If the feedback signal received is a tad sluggish, well, this immediately indicates that the user may be experiencing a potentially low ideation day. To overcome this negativity, AppCloth would suggest that clothing be worn to stimulate the wearer’s innovation, that being a short skirt, short length trousers, or a mini-kilt.

Alternatively, if the AppCloth receives a signal that indicates an extreme state of hyperactivity, then a full-length clothing attire would be suggested to counteract potential severe embarrassment, just in case something a little too short be worn.

As with all new fashion disruptive innovative inventions, the individual does have the option to completely ignore any clothing recommendations, but please carefully read AppCloth’s short, twenty page, font 6, disclaimer, so you fully understand your rights as a consumer.

For more information on AppCloth, please go to the App Store, or your favourite and well trusted clothing department’s website.

The Link That Keeps You Together

belt 2

There is a small item of clothing that circumnavigates the midpoint of human creativity and has been used by mankind for generations.

It can be customised to meet the individual preferences of the wearer, and can effortlessly accommodate fluctuating changes in personal demeanour and appearance.

When absent, one’s self esteem can lead to unwelcome embarrassment where the observer may be shocked, or excited, by the unhindered display of private persona.

However, those in the fashion industry have been happily entwined by its functionality and fully utilise its support and timeless stability.

For those of you that excel in cryptic mental aptitude, you will have already determined that I am alluding to the creative virtues of the mechanical device colloquially known as the belt.

Without a belt, human creativity would have been severely limited as ones hands would have not been free to gesticulate innovative ideas, to constructively work requisite equipment, or walk in unperturbed inspirational thought, owing to the need to maintain a sense of dignity with one, or two hands continually stopping the dropping force of unplanned clothing gravity.

From a spiritual sense, the belt allows the clothing wearer to focus on thoughts deemed from above, rather that those below their waist, well, in the majority of cases anyway.

A single belt can transfer its supportive benefits between many users regardless of their sex, nationality, history or age, and is unperturbed by the status of the previous wearer.

So if you want to maintain a look of complete confidence in your creative work and social activities, make sure you wear a belt and the innovative support you seek will be continually maintained.

For innovative slumber, think CollaborApp™

sleep Z

In the Technology section of the 1 April edition of the New York Times, Apple has announced the release of CollaborApp™, which is a radically new, and reportedly disruptive concept in business innovation.

Key to CollaborApp™ is the use of an artificial intelligence Bot called “Cogitaire” which surreptitiously tempts, and masterly teases the user into freeing their thoughts and ideas through voluntary thought extraction and cogitation whilst they are happily asleep. Yes, sleeping!

According to an Apple spokesperson, the idea for CollaborApp™ came from the online collaboration process where ideas are shared, and enhanced from different employees across the organization, all with a range of diverse backgrounds and personal experiences. However, with CollaborApp™, the collaboration is not done whilst the user is awake where they are subject to various competing time pressures, and other work commitment distractions. No, this App needs the user to be in a blissful state of slumber in order to be most effective.

CollaborApp™ works via the following process:

  1. Prior to employees going to sleep, they initiate the CollaborApp™ setting on their iPhone and place their earphones comfortably within their ears.
  2. Once asleep, the business problem to be solved is then presented to the employee via the Cogitaire Bot, who then unassumingly stimulates the users mental thought processes. By the way, in case you are wondering, Cognitaire’s persona morphs into whatever character imagined by the user in order to get the optimum thought creativity initiated. Cognitaire is also proficient in all known languages, even the most obscure ones.
  3. Whilst the user is blissfully sleeping, Cogitaire continually collates and shares all the updated idea solutions generated across the many users participating that night to ensure a passively robust analysis of the problem.
  4. In the morning, when the user awakes, an impressive infographic is presented that encapsulates all the innovative thought process developed by the vast employee collective.

Yes, the process sounds quite simple, and accordingly to Apple, it is very effective in generating a range of creative solutions with a much higher innovation calibre typically achieved via traditional collaboration techniques.

Now there is a cautionary paragraph found within the fine print in the Apple CollaborApp™ media release. It advises spouses, partners and others involved romantically, or those that are just curious, not to use the App for reasons Apple state are most obvious, as some things are best left unknown.

The Cardigan Effect

cardigan

If you are still searching for that illusive light bulb moment of inspiration that illuminates you on how to develop a culture of innovation within the corporate office, well, cover your shrinking expectant diluted pupils and look no further!

Those organisations that publicly acknowledge that they have attained this cultural goal of ongoing creative status fully understand, and vehemently practice, a little known law that many of you I’m sure have never heard of, or have ever been exposed to. The law is never discussed in any external academic of business journals, or in a public forum. Those CEOs that utilise this law protect it, and value it on an equal footing with any other prized intellectual property that they own.

The power of this law is like that of a welcome virus, and when unleashed without any senior management constraint within an organisation, it quickly takes hold and generates an uncontrollable innovative forward momentum.

The law is known as “The Cardigan Effect”. So how does it work you may gleefully ask? Let me explain.

The “cardigan” is a metaphor and is used to describe the relaxed, unhindered mental behaviour of an employee when they are not in the corporate office. When exhibiting “cardigan” behaviour, the employee speaks their mind openly; they have an opinion that they happily express with their family and friends. They solve problems, have suggestions and are not scared to challenge the status quo. They may be introverts, extroverts, or anything in between, and are content in realising and accepting their own unique persona.

But when many of these employees enter the corporate office, they remove their snug and comfortable “cardigan” and take on the excepted foreign characteristics and behaviour of the organisation. They become a different person, and all their inherent creativity becomes stifled, suppressed or non-existent.

Those organisations that have mastered the “Cardigan Effect” to drive a culture of innovation within their businesses allow, in fact fully encourage, their employees to wear their personalised “cardigans” in the office. The have created a work environment where their employees want to be their natural selves both in, and out of the office, there is no behavioural separation. However, there is one defining and strategic filter used for this “cardigan” behaviour, that being the organisations corporate values. Here the corporate values are not used to hinder the individual’s creativity, but rather to ensure consistency and a reference point for behaviour.

So how does an organisation create a work environment to fully reap the ongoing benefits of the “Cardigan Effect”? Well, it starts at the top with the Senior Executive team happily wearing their very own personal (not company supplied or corporately branded) “cardigans” publicly in the office. Some of their cardigans may not be that fashionable, may be a tad dirty, or may have a hole in the sleeve, if so, that’s even better. They need to consistently “walk the talk” and wear their “cardigans” everyday, not once off as part of a fad or promotion which most employees recognise quite quickly.

So on Monday as you dress for work, why not leave your usual corporate attire in the wardrobe and pull on your old and trusted “cardigan”. But more importantly, make sure that your home persona accompanies your “cardigan” as you enter the office. Then watch and behold just how fast this new and highly welcome innovation fashion trend quickly prevails!

A.E’s Forgotten Law of Innovation

Einstein Diary

The diary page was dated 14 June 1933. The blue ink handwriting, although quite faded, was still legible and was written in the old Germanic letter style of my grandfather.

Later in life, he did indeed become quite famous, in part due to his outlandish and peculiar hairstyle, but it was curious how this small piece of creative research never obtained the public notoriety, like all his other hypotheses?

As I rummaged respectfully through the following well read diary pages, it became apparent that quite a few foreign governments were also interested in this unknown research that suggested a somewhat fool proof theoretical methodology on the Law of Innovation. As he was Jewish, I wasn’t surprised that he elected to leave Germany and continue his innovation work at Princeton University in the USA.

But why was his theory on the Law of Innovation never published? I chuckled after reading a few more paragraphs as the references to the CIA may have had something to do with it?

But there it was; one paragraph was underlined repeatedly. In the page margin were his initials (A.E.) that he only used when he had exhaustedly confirmed that a Law had been proven.

As I had the esteemed position of Professor of Thought Creation at a reputable and well-known British University, I read the paragraphs on the Law of Innovation with interest.

Quote: “The Law of Innovation: Innovative thoughts are created when the thinker deliberately places their mind simultaneously in a multitude of time periods whilst still being in the present”.  

I had to read this paragraph twice and then I finally understood the concept. When solving a problem, the thinker needs to look at the issue from a range of different time perspectives, some of which may be unknown to you. The concept of time forces the individual to indeed think differently. For instance, if the year was 1930, how would the problem be solved using the resources of that time period? If the year were now 2100, a different set of solutions would prevail. Now bring the future and past time-dated solutions back to the present and look for any common themes and similarities. As you think with an open mind, an unexpected innovative thought will eventuate.

So for those readers of this blog post that work in the corporate office, may I suggest that you invoke the Law of Innovation and I’m sure that with time a creative solution will be revealed.

The Choice is in Your Hand – Left or Right?

Thinking Mode 1

For many years now, men of all ages, have been daunted with one of the most important life choices that needs to be made on a daily basis first thing each morning. This decision is not one that should ever be rushed, nor should it be trivialized, as the resultant selection will linger for the remainder of the day until eventually corrected that evening with a potential, and welcome, sigh of relief.

For most men, symmetry is the most common selection criterion, but some do like to go with a surprise methodology that may invoke that well known law of uncertainty and mystique. Others may match colour, size and complexity to complement their prevailing mood. Some may utilize a delayed surprise and shock strategy that requires a pointed unveiling, at the appropriate time, to reinforce and embellish an important event. For me, I go with an approach that is built entirely around complete randomness, however, having them is a non-negotiable life necessity.

Women and children have also been known to partake in their use as they reinforce diversity and are not bound, nor limited, by any classification of stereotype, nor allocated gender.

The items are ageless and can be passed down between generations to signify belonging, prestige, heredity or just plain and simple usefulness. Some are priceless, others may be worthless, but their value is indeed calculated in the eye of the beholder.

They are typically seen in the corporate office, but no restriction applies to their use as they are not bound by any regulations, statutes, or HR policies, and are free to participate in any public, or private, work, or social environment.

Some say they were first observed in the 16th century. I say their use is timeless, and they shall prevail for many centuries to come bringing a sense of satisfaction and continued personal self-esteem for all generations!

They are a sign of personal innovation, creativity and confirm your undeniable link to shirt fashion.

Yes, they are cuff-links. May you wear them with pride, savor the experience, and enjoy the looks of nodding approval from your colleagues, friends, and even those you don’t know yet (but they will undoubtedly know you)!

Exploits of the “Paid Gentlemen”

Spy vs Spy

It was indeed a masterful, and strategically well executed plan in which the “paid gentlemen” (and I use the term “gentlemen” quite loosely let me assure you), had finally found what they were looking for after ransacking the Melbourne corporate office they had stealthily entered in the early hours of the morning precisely thirty minutes earlier. Dressed in the latest Australian Vogue approved designer fashion espionage dark clothing, with matching matte black soft kangaroo leather gloves so as to leave no fingerprints, and wearing matching black sound deadening yachting boat shoes, they systematically searched all potential hiding places.

To find the treasured item they were seeking, absolute darkness and silence was a non-negotiable prerequisite. Any search equipment illuminating light, such as torches, mobile phone screens, or audible communication between the “paid gentleman”, would make finding their objective impossible, as it would immediately, and permanently, disrupt its purity thereby making it worthless. As this was a risk they were not willing to take, specialist and custom fitting Ray-ban infrared goggles, together with some rather spiffy complex hand signals were the “paid gentleman’s” search accessories of choice.

To their great excitement, and might I say massive relief, they finally found that what they sought in a very sneaky and rather cunningly clever hiding location. The item was packaged in a lead lined small wooden red box. The “paid gentlemen” then placed this precious red box into a small attaché suitcase and locked it decisively using the twelve-digit lock combination that they would only divulge on receipt of their exorbitant $500M payment from the unscrupulous buyer.

Following a highly tense sixty-minute flight from Melbourne to Sydney, a surreptitious rendezvous with the seeker of the valuable item was arranged at a secret location in a prestigious hotel in Darling Harbour. It was there that the private exchange took place, upon which the now well “paid gentlemen” slowly departed the scene with a sense of relief and a new feeling of personal affluence.

The new illegal, and rather thrilled, keeper of the item quickly went up to her penthouse hotel suite on the ninth floor and swiftly bolted the room door. All lights were turned off; all window blinds were drawn to ensure complete darkness. She hurriedly unfolded the piece of paper on which the well “paid gentlemen” had written the twelve-digit code, and one by one the numbers were accurately entered until the small wooded red box was revealed. Her heart was now thumping so loud she thought her eardrums might explode with anticipation! Her trembling slender fingers toyed with the box latch and she opened it slowly. As the box opened, what seemed like a burning green gas hissed loudly upon release, followed by a large explosive pop. The startled woman quickly opened the box to make sure that the contents were OK and noticed that there was nothing inside apart from a small typed yellow parchment. She speedily grabbed her metal-rimmed spectacles and read out loud the following words: “Innovation is not something you can buy or steal. Innovation needs creativity!”.

In a fit of temper, combined with a rich and complex range of choice expletives, she heeded these words, and with a sense of “innovation and creativity”, she picked up the red box and attaché case and threw them straight out an open hotel window and then burst into tears with extreme disappointment and massive financial loss. Seconds later, these two hurtling objects landed with decisive and heavy force upon the unprotected and fragile heads of the soon to be very dead “well paid gentlemen” as they gleefully walked out the hotel with their unscrupulous financial gains.

With justice done, the small red wooden box bounced a couple of times on the footpath awaiting the next potential seeker of innovation and creativity!

Macabre Murderer of Marketing

Murder

The senior manager sat down exhausted in his large corporate black leather desk chair. The worn fabric felt so cool and relaxing as it snugged his body in a welcoming and inviting manner as it had done for the past thirty-five years.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his ragged company monogrammed handkerchief and looked at his hands now shaking with fear, thankfully he had achieved his objective before any “damage” had been done.

He carefully took out the black bound book that had lived in solitude and secrecy in his top desk draw and entered another name under the vast array of other recalcitrant employees that he had quietly “murdered” from a career perspective.

Yes, that was a close one he thought. If he hadn’t have acted, that employee might actually have changed the corporate status quo and may have injected some marketing creativity and innovation into the business. We can’t have that! But it was getting harder and harder to stop these employees infiltrating the company. He was also wondering what would happen when he retired at the end of the year. He was now despondent as he couldn’t find other younger employees that had the same unique business insight as him, nor his perceived flair of maintaining the existing corporate culture.

Mmmm, you might be thinking to yourself, as you may have already allocated a name to this senior manager in your business? If so, may I suggest that you publicly ‘call the behaviour” of these archaic and sorry individuals and lobby support amongst your colleagues to raise up a corporate mutiny for the long term betterment of your company! Don’t let this negative and destructive behaviour go unchallenged to avoid anymore creative casualties!

Sounds rather melodramatic doesn’t it? However, without creativity, innovation and marketing, it is the organisation as a whole that is suffocated as it loses the requisite lifeblood to ensure its longer term success and survival. May I suggest you don’t let this happen to yours, and if you see the signs of this occurring, try and quickly nip this potential “murder” in the corporate bud before it takes hold.

Just a thought to make you think that little bit differently.

Jockey Office Thoughts

Silks

The jockey adorned in an impressive satin quartered racing silk raised her white covered jodhpur pantalooned bottom above her mighty steed; her black crop was poised as she awaited the start of the race.

The masses that had come to see the great event cheered and shouted with such volume that the roar permeated throughout the racing track and the surrounding suburbs. It was so loud that those with hearing aids had to reduce the receptivity for fear of blowing the last remaining remnants of their fragile eardrums! The charming ladies looked absolutely gorgeous in their fashionable dresses and fancy stylish array of hats. The gentlemen all dressed in suits and bright ties complemented the occasion and looked quite spiffy. It was going to be a grand day out!

Once the race started, the booming announcer’s voice kept those punters informed on the status of their various Castillo boot cladded jockey as they competitively galloped in a rather uncomfortable looking postured position up high on their horses towards the winning post. For the winning jockey, the crowd would go wild, a voluminous frenzy would erupt and it was party time!

According to a “prominent blog writer”, a question now needs to be asked, and that is; “Why do such grand occasions not occur in the corporate office”? Why is it that when a new innovation is being developed, those employees working on it tend to sulk around the office in a mode of stealth. Is it for fear of failure, or perhaps that new innovations are not that exciting and interfere with the normal day-to-day business activities?

A “prominent blog writer” postulates that innovation should be greatly publicised within the corporate office. It should have the same sense of occasion and festivity associated with an important horse race. Those working on the innovation should be given a high profile and their progress broadcasted throughout the organization so all employees can feel part of the process of creativity and celebrate that winning feeling once the product/service is commercialised. So how do we do this? The key is communication and a function that lends itself nicely to those within your Corporate Affairs and Marketing teams. A “buzz of excitement” needs to be created and maintained along the innovation journey.

By the way, in case you are wondering, that “prominent blog writer” does not suggest that those members of the innovation teams should wear white jodhpur pants and silk shirts (OK, maybe the shirts, but definitely not the jodhpurs!), but it would make them a lot more visible within the organization?

The Office Runner

Sherrin (201/365)

Equipped rather splendidly in my black sports shorts, bright fluorescent yellow T-shirt and spiffy football boots, I stand by the Australian Rules Football (AFL) coach awaiting my detailed instructions to personally deliver to the targeted players during the game. My esteemed and strategic role within the game is that of “Runner”. As the name suggests, I have the privileged position of being able to run out on to the football field during the game to motivate the players and to deliver words of encouragement and tactics that have a direct real-time influence on the outcome of the contest.

Besides demonstrating my extreme athletic prowess with which I sprint out to the players at top speed (however I must admit some less kind people have called me a “Meanderer”, rather than a “Runner”) to deliver the coaches instructions, I also need to have the skills of an actor and a mentor. Each instruction needs to be customised to meet the listening requirements of the various player recipients in order to achieve maximum receptivity and message understanding. Some players can accept a message that is bold and direct, other players need to be encouraged and wooed in order to fully absorb the details of the instructions, however some players just need a good verbal tirade of abuse.

The role of “Runner” in the corporate office got me thinking. Many businesses use a common form of communication that is designed to reach the largest number of employees as possible. This may be done via E-mails, Bulletins, Newsletters and other such mass distributions. The information take-up and understanding by the individual employee is in most cases rather poor, or rather confused. So why not have a number of cleverly trained Corporate Communication Runners (CCR) that frequent the office corridors?

The CCR would be dressed in a special corporate uniform. Many of you reading this blog post may be thinking runners, tracksuit pants and a T-shirt, but that’s a tad too boring for the CCR. Rather, I’m visualising the CCR dressed in a tight fitting bright body suit (pink, yellow or green) with the corporate logo branded on their back and a nice sounding bell attached to a belt hanging from their waist to announce their arrival as they leap through the office.

The CCR would be entrusted to take specific instructions from the CEO and then personally deliver them to the various key employees throughout the building to provide maximum message impact and acceptance.

However, there is an additional role for the CCR in that they would also convey messages, or employee mood back to the CEO so they fully understand the feeling within the organization.

Yes, these CCRs would be very busy! But the role of the CCR is a very important one within the corporate office, and one that I would suggest be considered somewhat more seriously than this blog post suggests?

Just a thought….

%d bloggers like this: