Announcing the innovative “Babel” system for teleconferencing.
Finally, a modern communication format that meets the translation needs of all users, regardless of their spoken language, nationality, age, sex, business or social wants, Babel accommodates them all with ease.
Your traditional teleconferencing formats, such as Zoom, Webex, Teams, Facetime, and any others that you are probably using right now are so passé, and will definitely be quickly transferred into your computer recycle bin following the simple and hassle free installation of Babel.
So what exactly is Babel, and how does it work?
The Babel system was designed by the Dolphin IT organisation and uses a wickedly clever tonal analysis program that interprets any form of speech and translates what is really being said into an audible format that is fully comprehendible by the willing listener. To demonstrate the power of the Babel, consider the following examples:
The Millennial
Many words and phrases are used by the Millennial that the ears of Baby Boomers and Generation X individuals just can’t seem to understand. But relax, as the Babel translates these phrases into a string of words that seem surprising logical and somewhat reasonable. The other benefit of the Babel is that it accurately translates in both directions, so all generations of ears will no longer have the excuse of saying “I don’t know what you are talking about”.
Accountants
Yes, even the language used by these baffling individuals can be readily understood and speedily translated into a format that quickly dissolves the complex array of acronyms and financial jargon that many an accountant historically used as a means of differentiation.
Other Professions
But wait, the Babel can translate the language used by all professionals and tradesman. So next time you are verbally engaging with a Lawyer, Real Estate Agent, Plumber, Salesperson, or even a Marketer, you will indeed understand what they are actually saying.
Presidential Campaigns
Yes, Babel does have the capability to translate what all Politicians are expounding, but owing to substantial financial contributions made by the political parties to the Dolphin IT organisation (which will remain anonymous), we have elected to deactivate this Babel translation function.
Animals
The Babel translation process is currently working on a system which will eventually accommodate the audible dialog between pets and their owners. However, following initial trials with dogs, it became quickly apparent that dogs liked not being readily understood as it provided them with a license to dig holes, make a mess, be fed, walked on barked command, and to get their owner’s to pick up their droppings.
Yes, Babel is available now, but it does come with a written and verbal warning that states: Sometimes, ignorance is bliss, and occasionally it is best not to know what the other person is saying, particularly when it relates to you.
Thoughts that might just be useful in the future 