Umbrellas, Be Gone with Them!

singing in rain

It’s a most awkward feeling, and you’ve all experienced it, particularly when you encounter someone of approximately the same height. There is a momentary sigh of slight relief when the oncoming individual is deemed to be shorter or taller, the larger the difference the better, until it is quickly replaced by the mandatory manoeuvring so as to avoid any unwelcome impact.

The unavoidable cause of this precipitous, and most stressful combative environment is rain, and its presence signals the use of the antiqued protection item called the umbrella. It doesn’t matter how hard or soft the rain may be, as soon as it falls from the sky, an array of umbrellas hurriedly appears and pedestrian life on the footpath becomes mayhem.

If there were a standard sized umbrella that just provided sufficient circumferential rain protection tailored to the average individual walker, this would greatly assist with commuter meander flow. But no, some undisciplined selfish people elect to brandish a massive brightly coloured golf umbrella, designed for maximum rainfall protection, that produces a pedestrian bottleneck wherever they walk.

There must be a better system of rain head protection, and I’m pleased to say that there is, and it’s called the Aerocap™.

After countless hours of creative thinking time, the Aerocap™ is now fully functional and ready for its inaugural market launch. Its design is simple, yet so effective. It has been fashionably styled by a famous Melbourne designer (who for some reason wants to remain anonymous), and can be purchased in an array of distinctive colours, fabrics and sizes to accommodate all heads.

So how does the Aerocap™ work you may ask? Well, let me educate you.

This innovative rain protection device comes with easy to follow instructions that are listed below:

  1. Place the Aerocap™ on your head.
  2. At the first sign of rain, gently press the carefully camouflaged “start button” that is situated just under the front cap peak.
    (Note 1: for the football team beanie version, press the big pompom. Note 2: for the beret version, press the stalk).
  3. Once the “start button” has been pressed, the top of your Aerocap™ will spontaneously open and an incredibly quiet high intensity airflow will be initiated in an upwards circular direction.
    (Note: You may feel as if you are being pushed with a downward momentum, but this is normal)
  4. Any rain will now be forcefully projected away from the Aerocap™ by the airflow keeping the wearer dry and happy.
  5. Throw away your umbrella, as you won’t need it any longer!

Disclaimer: The Aerocap™ is powered by a small amount of uranium. But don’t be alarmed, as keeping your head dry in the short term was deemed by the now deceased test user as being much more important than any long term radiation concerns).

There is another benefit with the Aerocap™ (not mentioned in the instructions) and that’s the impact it has on those recalcitrant pedestrians that still selfishly carry those large imposing golf umbrellas.

When the Aerocap™ wearer walks under one of these grossly flamboyant umbrellas, there is a detection sensor that quickly increases the air velocity that may result in the umbrella holder suddenly being projected 20 feet in the air. But don’t be too concerned, as by the time they land on the ground with a thump, you will be well gone and will not hear their verbal outbursts.

So how do you get an Aerocap™?

Any classy and sophisticated hatter will sell them. If not, just mention the brand name Aerocap™ to the sales person, and I’m sure you will be given an appropriate response.

The Corporate Reception Area

Circular Reception Desk

When you enter a shop for the first time your senses are seeking out data points with which to form an impression that usually influences your buying behaviour whilst in the store, and afterwards with respect to potential repeat visits. Each store tries to create their own individuality that differentiates themselves from their competition through a variety of different coloured décor, sounds, smells, staff dress code, personality style and other mannerisms.

So what can we learn from this in the corporate world? The answer is heaps, particularly with respect to the business reception area.

Business reception areas are the portal through which all new clients enter and they are in essence the “shop front” to the corporate organization. So why not make this “experience of entrance” one that will place your business on a pedestal that will be the envy of your opposition?

Some thoughts for achieving this that are that “little bit different”:

1. Facial Recognition
For clients that have visited your business previously, why not use facial recognition to send their details electronically as they are walking to the receptionist who can provide them with a personal salutation of welcome when they sign in?

2. No more dull waiting time
Should your clients arrive early for a meeting, why should they sit around aimlessly reading the traditional range of dated and boring magazines and newspapers?
A much better and innovative alternative is to provide a range of other more interesting options such as; a dedicated barista to provide that optimum coffee brew, free WiFi so they can check E-mails, a well stocked library with comfortable reading chairs, a golf practice putting area with your company logo on the green, or an array of dynamic computer games, etc. I’m sure that these options would be much better appreciated!

3. Video Messaging Booth
Should you client not have sufficient time for the meeting with your organization through no fault of their own, or should your employees be double booked with too many meetings, the reception area would be equipped with an array of video messaging booths. Here the client could sit down in private and make their presentation or provide feedback to a video camera which would record their message. This could then be E-mailed to the appropriate person in your business for viewing at a later date.

4. The Outdoor Reception Area
Why not have a built in outdoor glass enclosed reception area instead of one with the more traditional corporate appearance? This could comprise a variety of outdoor garden elements that are in sync with the climatic seasons with a well defined footpath meandering to the reception desk. For instance, there could be a grassy mound with occasional animal (eg cow, kangaroo, horse) strolling past the clients, an intermittent and random rain shower requiring the use of strategically placed umbrellas or an ice-cream stand located amongst a sand dune or rock-pool?

I’m sure that these creative and rather unique additions to the corporate reception area would have a lasting and positive influence on any client that may visit your business.

Why not consider some of these ideas when designing your next office building?

I’m sure that it would indeed make people “think that little bit differently”!

 

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