Umbrellas, Be Gone with Them!

singing in rain

It’s a most awkward feeling, and you’ve all experienced it, particularly when you encounter someone of approximately the same height. There is a momentary sigh of slight relief when the oncoming individual is deemed to be shorter or taller, the larger the difference the better, until it is quickly replaced by the mandatory manoeuvring so as to avoid any unwelcome impact.

The unavoidable cause of this precipitous, and most stressful combative environment is rain, and its presence signals the use of the antiqued protection item called the umbrella. It doesn’t matter how hard or soft the rain may be, as soon as it falls from the sky, an array of umbrellas hurriedly appears and pedestrian life on the footpath becomes mayhem.

If there were a standard sized umbrella that just provided sufficient circumferential rain protection tailored to the average individual walker, this would greatly assist with commuter meander flow. But no, some undisciplined selfish people elect to brandish a massive brightly coloured golf umbrella, designed for maximum rainfall protection, that produces a pedestrian bottleneck wherever they walk.

There must be a better system of rain head protection, and I’m pleased to say that there is, and it’s called the Aerocap™.

After countless hours of creative thinking time, the Aerocap™ is now fully functional and ready for its inaugural market launch. Its design is simple, yet so effective. It has been fashionably styled by a famous Melbourne designer (who for some reason wants to remain anonymous), and can be purchased in an array of distinctive colours, fabrics and sizes to accommodate all heads.

So how does the Aerocap™ work you may ask? Well, let me educate you.

This innovative rain protection device comes with easy to follow instructions that are listed below:

  1. Place the Aerocap™ on your head.
  2. At the first sign of rain, gently press the carefully camouflaged “start button” that is situated just under the front cap peak.
    (Note 1: for the football team beanie version, press the big pompom. Note 2: for the beret version, press the stalk).
  3. Once the “start button” has been pressed, the top of your Aerocap™ will spontaneously open and an incredibly quiet high intensity airflow will be initiated in an upwards circular direction.
    (Note: You may feel as if you are being pushed with a downward momentum, but this is normal)
  4. Any rain will now be forcefully projected away from the Aerocap™ by the airflow keeping the wearer dry and happy.
  5. Throw away your umbrella, as you won’t need it any longer!

Disclaimer: The Aerocap™ is powered by a small amount of uranium. But don’t be alarmed, as keeping your head dry in the short term was deemed by the now deceased test user as being much more important than any long term radiation concerns).

There is another benefit with the Aerocap™ (not mentioned in the instructions) and that’s the impact it has on those recalcitrant pedestrians that still selfishly carry those large imposing golf umbrellas.

When the Aerocap™ wearer walks under one of these grossly flamboyant umbrellas, there is a detection sensor that quickly increases the air velocity that may result in the umbrella holder suddenly being projected 20 feet in the air. But don’t be too concerned, as by the time they land on the ground with a thump, you will be well gone and will not hear their verbal outbursts.

So how do you get an Aerocap™?

Any classy and sophisticated hatter will sell them. If not, just mention the brand name Aerocap™ to the sales person, and I’m sure you will be given an appropriate response.

Hair Cut Frizz

Kathy (Frizzy Hair)

My friend spent many hours and dollars sitting in the hairdresser’s chair in the pursuit of that “just right look”. Her hair was washed, cut, coloured, styled and other things I have no idea about (my hairstyle has not required a visit to the barber for quite a few years) and the final result was “hair perfection”. She looked gorgeous, but more importantly, she felt fantastic and her mood exuded confidence and that killer professional personality of “look out world, don’t mess with me!”

But, on leaving the hairdresser, the heavens opened up and a massive downpour of heavy rain engulfed her magnificent locks of hair. The result, an unexpected frizzy hairdo, and one that no longer looked the same as it did a mere one minute ago.

Now my friend could have reacted two ways:

1. Complete emotional devastation with a flurry on large tears, cursing and screams of disappointment and anger.
2. A “WTF” attitude where she enjoyed the moment whilst it lasted, but now was wondering what benefits would be achieved from her completely different bohemian and rather artistic appearance?

In the corporate world, this experience typifies the influence of a “Change Management” program on the employee. In many instances, the “Change” is totally unexpected, has caught them off-guard and they had no desire to participate. The employee, like my friend, could respond in two ways; complete emotional devastation, or seize the change opportunity and move forward with a positive attitude.

The key is to have the latter, but to do this; the whole corporate organization needs to be fully aligned in the process. Those directly influenced by the “Change” need to be supported and nurtured so they receive consistent supportive signals of encouragement from their colleagues and management. For example, with the “frizzy hair look”, here the organization would need to promote and publicly value the skills associated with a bohemian and creative attitude. If the business still wanted the “pre-rained look”, then the employee would feel ostracised and may eventually leave the company as they perceived themselves as not fitting in to the required organizational culture.

There are many potential learnings for the HR Team from this “frizzy hair” analogy, the most important one being the environment the business establishes to accommodate and support those employees influenced by the “Change” that they have initiated. Frequently, employees are condemned for not coping with “Change”, but rather it is the fault of the organization for not fully anticipating their employee’s demands and needs as a result of the “Change”.

One final question for you to ponder a little bit further. For those of us with no hair, does this mean that we can cope with change easier than other employees?