The Eyes of Electronic Stimulation

eyes

The E-mail designated “High Priority” in large red font from the HSE Director arrived in my Inbox at exactly 5 PM. It advised all employees that tomorrow was going to be an “Electronic Free Day”. I, and my fellow work colleagues, read the following safety directive as stipulated with keen interest.

Attention All Staff,

Owing to a dramatic increase in the number of deteriorating eyesight complaints derived from employee’s continually using work computers, iPhones, iPads and other electronic visual stimulators, we have been advised by our insurance underwriters that we have now reached the maximum number of optical claims allowed for this year.

As such, we have decided to mitigate this corporate eyeball risk by announcing that every Wednesday will now be deemed an “Electronic Free Day” (EFD), commencing tomorrow.

The IT department has been advised to implement an unconditional electricity supply freeze on all computer assets which will be effective between the hours of 8 AM to 5 PM.

When arriving at work, please place all personal smartphone devices, tablets, kindles, and other such like into the nominated collection baskets as advised by the Safety Wardens. Any refusal will result in immediate dismissal.

At your workstation, each employee will be greeted with a pen (complete with ink), writing paper (devoid of any words) that are to be used to capture any creative thoughts that may be generated during the work day. For those staff that may have forgotten how to use these work implements, a special tutorial has been scheduled in the auditorium at 9 AM.

On your desk, you will also find a personalised information sheet that provides some suggested finger exercises to ensure that no repetitive strain injuries (RSI) occur, please take a moment to familiarise yourself with the movements.

We value your eye safety, particularly as it will reduce our insurance premiums.

The management team thanks you for your understanding and optical conformance, so together, our business future will be visually bright.

Regards

HSE Director

Keep your Eyes Focussed

Closeup of a woman wearing a monocle in one eye. Date taken- 1930

The date was the 4th September 2025 and the last Will and Testament of my dear grandfather had just been read. His friends knew him as Barry “Pirate” Cramer, to me, he was simply Papa, and he and I, were the best of friends.

Barry “Pirate” Cramer was an entrepreneur in the true sense of the word and left his family a financial fortune that many people can only dream of attaining. My father, Leon Cramer, was his only son and today became the wealthiest person on the planet.

In my grandfather’s Will, I was left no money, real estate, works of art, or other trinkets that those in the know would classify as valuable. However, the “Pirate” had left me two items that to me characterised the “real” him. These were his gold-rimmed monocle, and his personal diary.

It took about three months before I could open his diary owing to the grief I had been feeling, but once I did, I could never have imagined the innovative insights that this little worn leather bound book contained.

Barry “Pirate” Cramer was a business visionary and could always see how to commercialise new and novel ideas that many of his peers, and competitors, could never understand, or appreciate.

He earned his “Pirate” nickname for two reasons. The most obvious one being that he always wore a monocle in his right eye. The other one was that he was famous for plundering companies that were on the brink of bankruptcy that he miraculously, and quickly, transformed into highly profitable business that were the envy of the original owners.

As I was rummaging one night through his diary, I was intrigued by the words that he had scribbled when he was only 21 years old, an age which signalled the start of his financial prowess. The reference was to why pirates wore a patch over one eye. Apparently they did this so their eyes were ready for combat in the poorly lit interior of a ship [1]. As such, they always had one eye accustomed to light, the other prepped for darkness.

Papa took this concept further and replaced the pirate eye patch with the monocle, which eventually became his personal signature facial accessory. Yes, he did need to wear glasses, but he used the monocle in a cunning and rather visionary way. By wearing a monocle, his eyes were always focussed on the short and longer distances, ready for any visual obstacle that he may encounter. However, he took this in not just the metaphorical sense. Whenever he viewed a problem, he was always able to literally “see” two sides to the solution, the short-term and most obvious one that everyone could appreciate, but also the future opportunity that many of his competition could not comprehend.

What a brilliant visionary concept, one that many corporate businesses, particularly their CEOs, could learn from and utilise in in the development of their strategic plans. The key is to be a “pirate” and to have one eye looking at the now, the other eye very much focussed on the future.

So next time you go to the optometrist for your pair of fashionable glasses, why not get a monocle instead and let the potential pirate in you take control! You will also look rather spiffy, and will most definitely be noticed.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eyepatch

Eyes Down with a Positive Perspective

cemstride

When sojourning around the corporate office you will encounter a variety of co-workers with differing walking styles. Those people who are confident will typically walk with a sense of purpose and will greet you with a determined look that locks their eyeball with yours. Others who are less positive by nature will tend to waddle around the building with their eyes well entrenched with a downward stare and minimal opportunity for communication.

Many an office will parade an endless array of motivational signage on the office walls to encourage people to change their perspective and to react in a more optimistic manner. However, there is an untapped opportunity for inspiring those with a downward glance whilst walking throughout the building that utilises an office environment that is frequently under utilised and ignored from a marketing and change management directive, that being the floor!

The floor provides an intertwining matrix of messaging possibilities:

Different Carpet Colours
Why do all carpet colours need to be consistent throughout the building? Why not create a pictorial affect to inspire people who work within various departments? For instance, those in marketing could have an outer space carpet with an endless array of stars and galaxies to help inspire a creative thought? Those working in finance could have a carpet with many numbers, $ signs and mathematical formula permutations? Those in HR, could have a multitude of employee faces beaming up at them to reinforce the diversity of culture within the business?

Safety Messages
For those danger areas where people collisions may eventuate, why not have some floor signs saying “Beware, slow down and exercise caution otherwise there may be unwanted facial contact”?  Or, in the canteen, “Look out for slurping coffee carrying colleagues!”

Management Notifications
When a senior manager is approaching, a floor notification could be transmitted to approaching co-workers stating “Be happy, smile, look like you are busy!”

Personalised Walking Tones
For some co-workers that need that extra form of encouragement, the floor would have the ability to read certain employee feet and walking styles.  For those individuals identified, an appropriate piece of “power music” would blast out from the floor to give them that psychological lift whilst moving throughout the building!

There is an endless array of floor possibilities in the corporate office. The key is to start viewing all aspects throughout the building that “little bit differently”! May these innovative and creative ideas lead to hours of happy and positive walking in your place of work!