Corporate Dress Design with “Wind Gust Resistance”!

Wind Gust

“There must be a solution!”, I thought to myself as I was walking in the Sydney CBD this afternoon and saw yet another corporately dressed woman holding her skirt as she fought off those all too frequent wind gusts!

For too long, women have had to endure the public embarrassment associated with unwanted underwear exposure!

So as I walked, I pondered some potential ideas to alleviate the occurrence. Now, there does need to be a self-imposed caveat here, mainly because I haven’t experienced that dreaded moment of dress wind gust movement, so I can only speculate as to the impact.

If you are a fashion designer reading this blog post, please don’t laugh too loudly! However, it may just spark an idea in your minds that might actually make some sort dress design sense? But, then again?

Design Option 1: Underwear Hip Magnets
Now this is a design that would need to be tested first to ensure that womanly comfort is not compromised! The big feature of this concept is its simplicity.
In the skirt there would be a hidden interior pocket strategically placed next to the left and right hips. Should the weather look likely that a wind gust may eventuate; the dress wearer would quickly place a metal disc in the dress pockets. At the same time, a smooth edged, very flat magnet, would be placed into the elastic underwear waist band thereby locking the skirt into position.

Design Option 2: Waistband
Sewn into each dress waistband there could be 5 equally spaced $2 coins which are held in place by a discreetly hidden placed zipper. When the wind gust eventuates, the zip is opened and the coins fall into an inner sleeve positioned in the hem of the skirt thus eliminating skirt flap.
Alternative benefit: should the dress wearer need some money for any unplanned items (such car parking or restaurant tips), there would be an ample supply that could be quickly utilized when required?

iPhone App:
Although not a dress design option, an iPhone App could also be developed that monitors wind gust velocity in the city thereby providing an early warning for the use of the above Design Options?

Now for all you kilt wearers, sorry, I have no idea!

Hopefully, unpredictable dress wind gusts will soon be a thing of the past and all corporate dressed women will be able to walk with confidence in the city!

Claim your own Aphrodite Charm!

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“How many times do I need to tell you Aphrodite? Could you please take off those unsightly mortal business clothes of yours and put on your official white deity long gown! You need to remember that you are a Greek goddess, so please dress like one! Apollo, Poseidon, Athena and I, are all sick and tired of seeing you in those brightly coloured short skirts, shirts, patterned stockings and high-heeled shoes! That look might be just fine for those “creative types” that you mingle with surreptitiously in the corporate office below on earth, but up here above the clouds some professional god-like decorum is required! One day, those pesky and inquisitive passenger airlines might actually see you in that coloured attire and our nice quiet world of the perceived theoretical mythology with vanish immediately and we will be inundated with human sightseers!”

“I hear you Zeus, don’t get your toga all crumpled and frazzled! You might start looking as old as you actually are if you don’t settle down and relax! It’s all right for you lot all pontificating about life, the universe and everything Greek up here in your godly world, but without me taking the initiative and dropping down to the world inhabited by mortals now and then, no new ideas or thoughts would ever make it up here into this sterile life of perpetual bliss!”

“Thankfully my “Aphrodite charm” and sophistication makes it quite easy for me to morph into the business organizations I choose to infiltrate where I can quickly manipulate the desires and intentions of their CEO. If you lot followed a similar strategy and moved outside your comfort zone, you might discover there is a vast array of knowledge to be learnt and absorbed down there!”

Let’s park this Greek godly dialogue for a moment and consider the work environment of those fellow mortals (just like me) who may be reading this blog post.

Yes, the key is to make the time and effort to step outside your known networks of understanding. To do this successfully, you may need to encounter some personal discomfort and to accept that your traditional business methods and work practices may not be the best, nor the only way to do things. It is also so important for us all to courageously branch out from our normal and stayed circle of friends and business acquaintances, and to have a willingness to genuinely learn from others. From these new experiences, new and exciting ideas will potentially merge and propagate.

So next time you are travelling on business and are happily looking down on the clouds from your snug and comfortable aircraft window seat, remember that you too are capable of exhibiting that “Aphrodite charm” of creativity and innovation by thinking just that little bit differently!

Seeking that Optimal Balance

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The rather assertive, and I thought rather scary young woman, dressed impeccably in the bland and very dark company coloured uniform, beckoned me forward as I was next in the line and requested my name. Without any hesitation so as to not potentially upset her, I quickly replied, “CRAMER, Steven”. My name was immediately crossed off the list.

She, although her name badge said ‘Mandy’ (I wouldn’t dare call her this for fear of appearing too friendly) then asked me and my luggage to stand on the scales to which the total weight was duly recorded with minimal facial expression nor interest.

I was then given my helicopter boarding pass which specified my seating position for the short flight out to the off shore oil platform in Bass Strait some distance off the Southern Australian coastline.

All this procedural rigmarole was apparently required to ensure the helicopter weight was balanced from a safety perspective as we traversed the fierce, and somewhat unpredictable, cyclonic wind gusts to our offshore destination.

Now this got me thinking about the corporate office and how the business tries to “balance” their people skill sets to achieve the best chance of success. Well, I say this comment a little bit tongue in cheek as most organisations unfortunately don’t actually do this aviation procedure of ‘skill balancing’ particularly well. If they were indeed a helicopter, I suspect many of them would be flying along lopsided with a predominance of accountants, HR, engineers, extroverts or introverts! No wonder many companies tend to plummet to their financial doom and fail to obtain their targeted business objectives!

As each business objective may be different, management (just like ‘Mandy’) need to plan accordingly to ensure the right ‘weight’ mix of skills are on board. This skill set will often change based on the task and velocity of the objective required.

Now when potential danger looms, a pilot may reluctantly jettison a selected item from the aircraft to avoid jeopardizing the entire mission. Should a business encounter unexpected climatic economic turbulence, it may necessitate the ejection of some awkward and oversized individuals who are exacerbating the effect. If this needs to be done, the kind and humane approach is to provide these people with a personalized parachute before pushing them out the door, but there are some mean spirited and callous managers who like the free-fall spectacle. For those who choose the latter, may I remind them that what goes up does eventually come down, and lands with a massive hard thump!

Yes, it’s all in planning which bottoms you want in which seats in your next business mission. Without the right “bottom balance” it could be a rather uncomfortable and long flight.

One final comment and it relates to the scenery the business will observe as you travel to your intended destination and this relates to your choice of navigator. For the optimum journey of learning and excitement, may I suggest placing a creative individual in this role and your flight will never be boring!

That Cut of Difference

Salon Shots

Yes, just a little bit more on the left above the ear don’t you think? Yes, there are a few stragglers there. I will just get the cut-throat razor out and give those obstreperous hairs a strategic and decisive shave. What do you think? Oh yes, much better. It looks much more skinified and head nude now, not a hair in sight, that should do it!

I looked at the floor below the barber’s chair with trepidation. There I saw a messy foray of my recently attached blond locks of hair randomly splayed now looking up at me with a sense of desertion as they awaited the appearance of a sweeping broom focussed on tidiness.

Yes, the new hairless look suited me, and if I didn’t like it, in a few days some potentially yet to be welcomed hair stubble would reposition itself on my head allowing me to rethink my next attempt at head creativity (Author’s comment….except in my case where that hair stubble decided to abandon my head a couple of decades ago, with a decision never to return!).

As I left the barber’s chair, I saw the next employee eagerly awaiting their turn to start their own individual journey of hair discovery. Yes, in case you are wondering, this barber is actually located in the corporate office. A haircut can be booked via your online E-mail calendar room booking system and there is always a backlog of staff wanting these prestigious hair services.

Why located in the corporate office? Well, why not? In this instance, this organization’s CEO views hairstyles as an extension of the business innovation process. The objective is to encourage their employees to think that little bit differently and to explore experiences and sensations that break the traditional and conservative mindset. After all, many people tend to adopt the same haircut style, one that is deemed professional and generally acceptable to the corporate guidelines of appearance. However, not this organization which boasts a workforce with a varied hair fashion that comes in a mixture of colours, lengths and more diverse appearances.

So next time you are sitting in your barber’s (or hairdresser’s) chair and they ask whether to give you “the usual”, may this blog post give you the creative strength to try something rather different so you too can experience that feeling of hair creativity and freedom of thought! Go on, be brave, give it a go! (it will grow back you know…well, maybe?)

Codex Seraphinianus

The Codex Seraphinianus

Today I was reading a Twitter post by Maria Popova (http://t.co/RdK5JUZsOI) about Luigi Serafini and his encyclopaedia called “Codex Seraphinianus”. The following is the first paragraph from Maria’s post;

In 1976, Italian artist, architect, and designer Luigi Serafini, only 27 at the time, set out to create an elaborate encyclopedia of imaginary objects and creatures that fell somewhere between Edward Gorey’s cryptic alphabets, Albertus Seba’s cabinet of curiosities, the book of surrealist games, and Alice in Wonderland. What’s more, it wasn’t written in any ordinary language but in an unintelligible alphabet that appeared to be a conlang — an undertaking so complex it constitutes one of the highest feats of cryptography. It took him nearly three years to complete the project, and three more to publish it, but when it was finally released, the book — a weird and wonderful masterpiece of art and philosophical provocation on the precipice of the information age — attracted a growing following that continued to gather momentum even as the original edition went out of print.”

My first reaction on reading this was, “What a brilliant concept!”.
My second reaction was, “Why do we never see such creativity in the corporate office?”
The third reaction was, a repeat of my second reaction, “Why not?”

For a corporate organization to be innovative, it needs to be allowed to think. It’s employees need to be provided with the opportunity to have random, creative thoughts that are not inhibited in any way, but are allowed to run free.

In my blog (https://thinkingfuturethoughts.wordpress.com/) I have written many posts trying to inspire those in the corporate office to think that little bit differently. Yes, some of these posts are a little bit way out, but that’s very much the intention. A previous blog post called “The Room of Thought” typifies some of this thinking; (https://thinkingfuturethoughts.wordpress.com/2013/08/29/the-room-of-thought/)

It’s gratifying to hear that many corporate organizations are now using my blog posts as “thought starters” for their employees, but companies need to do more and strategically embed creativity into their cultural DNA. Unfortunately, for some CEOs, innovation is merely just lip service.

The concept of “Codex Seraphinianus” is a fantastic example in “thinking that little bit differently” and inspires those reading it to open and expand their imagination. It breaks all the traditional rules, which I can only applaud.

Yes, this is my first book review and I give it 4.5 out of 5. Why not 5? Well, the score of 5 has been reserved for your own version of “Codex Seraphinianus” of which you will be the author. This version will I’m sure be a creative masterpiece!

The Gingerbread People

Happy Biscuit

The freshly baked gingerbread men and women with an impressive and distinctive corporate logo stamped across their chest were carefully placed on each employee’s desk in the early hours of the morning. It was the last day of work before Xmas and the department manager had spent many hours tirelessly baking that morning in preparation for the annual ritual of gingerbread person desk placement.

The time was now 6 AM and with the task of distribution completed, he decided to find a quiet corporate sick-bay bed and have a couple of hours sleep before his fellow employees arrived in the office to gleefully devour their eagerly anticipated baked gourmet morsels with an accompanying cup of coffee or tea.

But this year, something rather different and decidedly odd occurred. At about 6:15 AM there was a discreet, yet distinctive, sound of pastry movement. Yes, on some of the poorly lit office desks, an occasional little gingerbread arm and foot was beginning to display some rather unique humanistic characteristics. But not all gingerbread people sprung to life?

At 6:30 AM, some baked people of gingerbread DNA were leaping and gesticulating with extensive social skills and were having a great time getting to know each other and exchanging various bodily crumbs. However, some of their other baked relatives were just lying there in a motionless state, whilst others were still experiencing the joy of minimal hand movement with no prospect of running amuck!

Just before the department manager took his last snuff of slumbered bliss signalling that it was time to awake, an internal motion ceasing sensor was triggered in each of the gingerbread people and those that were mobile all dropped down on the spot and once again became just a baked stationary figurine.

As the employees started to arrive at their desks, some were greeted with a large number of scrumptious gingerbread people. Many of the staff found a single gingerbread person on their desk in the exact same position that it has been placed by the manager, others, found none at all. So, the question that you are all thinking is, why do some people have more gingerbread than others? The answer is fairly obvious if you have studied the traits of gingerbread culture and society, but if you do not have this educational knowledge, let me explain.

It all has to do with the energy and creativity that is exhibited by those employees in your corporate office that are innovative. These people are the lifeblood of your organization and they stimulate and encourage all sorts of ideas and inspirational thinking that some of you may think is a little bit way out. But, without these people, there is no imagination, and no hope that fictional ideas such as gingerbread people coming to life could ever exist. So it is really any wonder why the gingerbread people flocked to these people’s desks?

When next you are fortunate enough to hold a gingerbread person, prior to that first chomp of delight, may I suggest you stop and think and question yourself about your level of innovation and whether your personality entitles you to eat just one, or maybe more?

The Vertical Room of Study

The Americans in Canada

It is 8:28 AM and there are a mass of people all waiting rather impatiently for the sky rise elevator doors to open. Finally, the elevator arrives at the Ground Floor Level and the doors slowly open. I quickly enter with purpose and strategically position myself in the back corner of the elevator after appearing to nonchalantly press the illuminated number 39 button. After disguising my external and gleeful anticipation, I then surreptitiously prepare myself mentally for the long ride to my lofty office floor destination.

Some people could be rather bored with the time taken for their vertical ride to tediously meander up to the 39th Floor after continually stopping at many interim floors along the way, but not me! This time is precious as it allows all elevator participants some brilliant people observation and study opportunities! If you haven’t seized the chance to really look at your fellow elevator incumbents, then you really haven’t lived as it contains a microcosm of creativity!

This creativity is quite personal and exhibits itself in many public and rather clandestine forms. The joy for the watcher is in the identification and discovery process which may be rather transparent to those who do not appreciate the visual and sensory clues that are being portrayed within this closed people transportation cubicle.

In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me provide some additional information so you too can ponder this creative and informative elevator experience.

Firstly, let’s talk woft. Yes, woft. First thing in the morning, your fellow workers will apply a variety of personal fragrances, with fluctuating levels of intensity, to all parts of their body. These fragrant wofts go under the common names of perfumes, aftershaves, moisturisers, hair gels, deodorants and other secret body embellishments. To add to the mix, there are also those people that don’t believe in fragrance enhancement in any form, shape or application. The result is a composite array of woft that frequently changes in line with the differing elevator assortment of occupants.

Then there are the clothes. There will be a jumble of suits, skirts, dresses, shorts, jeans, ties, scarves, socks, shoes and even the occasional sporty look. The colours embedded into these fabrics will generally cover the full spectrum range of the PMS colour palette (except for some strange reason in Melbourne where the colour dark grey or black seems to dominate). Once again, each elevator ride up and down the building will have its own unique colour and clothing dominance.

And yes, the elevator also provides a fool-proof tool for evaluating whether someone is an introvert or an extrovert. Your classic introvert will typically stand up against the elevator wall, look down at the floor and say absolutely nothing. Whereas, your flamboyant extrovert will tend to position themselves within the central people mix and their eyes will be continually darting around looking for a fellow extrovert to initiate a meaningful, typically loud and engaging conversation. Now should you encounter a whistler in the elevator, this usually signifies a frustrated extrovert who just can’t refrain from communication any longer and is about to socially and verbally explode!

I know what you are now about to ask! What about the mobile phone user? Well, there is no benefit achieved by studying these elevator travellers, yes, none at all. Why? Because these people are fundamentally rude and are therefore insignificant and irrelevant from a creative and academic perspective. However, there is a solution. One option is to construct an elevator that is impervious to mobile phone reception (which is quite a common occurrence with the mobile network my company uses). The other, and more economically acceptable option, is to have an inbuilt sensor within the elevator that initiates a torrent of polite verbal abuse telling the person to desist immediately. I was going to suggest some choice descriptive expletives, but as all elevators carry a “G Rating”, this idea just wouldn’t pass the globally accepted standards of elevator etiquette.

So, if you are in the business of corporate change management, HR or team building, an inexpensive and unique “room of study” awaits you, that being your elevator. Next time you take a vertical ride with your colleagues, may I suggest you ponder the woft, the clothes and observe any introvert or extrovert tendencies. I’m sure that many innovative learnings will be presented for your benefit!

The “Jane Award”

Vogue

“Not again!”, I said as the camera flashes went off in unison leading to yet another ritual of blinding light in the office meeting room. It was becoming an all too familiar event, but it was one that we all relished with eager anticipation, afterall, she is a celebrity.

She did look rather stunning I thought to myself, in her chic white business attire, but she deserves the attention. It was also really inspiring seeing her on the cover of the December edition of Vogue* magazine.

However, what I loved the most about her, was that she still just accepted her usual position in the organization and went about her duties without any fuss or change in attitude or demeanor. One day, I just hope I get to be like her and the many others in the company that have achieved her lofty status.

Her business card says it all and our company utilises these rare and key employees to their maximum potential. After all, without these critical staff, we wouldn’t be enjoying the business success that we have now all become accustomed to on a daily occurrence.

What, you didn’t get a chance to read her business card? My apologies let me hand it over and read it to you. Her name is Jane Brown, her job title is “Creative Thinker”.

Yes……”Creative Thinker”.

So what exactly does Jane Brown do, you may ask? Well, Jane, and the other employees just like her, are allowed to…..think. They are provided time in their job routine to contemplate new ideas and solutions for the business. They are encouraged to network with their work colleagues, to talk to other organizations, to share thoughts and to develop other left field, non-work related dissertations. Ideas related to the future needs of the business are strongly encouraged; in fact, they are demanded by our senior management.

So why is Jane on the cover of Vogue* you may ask? Simple, the process of innovation has no boundaries and can be utilised in all activities that we do, in this instance, Jane is seen as a role model to encourage everyone to think just that little bit differently.

I’m sure that your organization has many people just like “Jane”. These people should be recognised and applauded for their creativity. Who knows, it might just lead to the instigation of the “Jane Awards” in your corporate work environment?

*Yes, Edwina McCann (Editor-In-Chief, Vogue Australia), this is fiction, Jane Brown is not a real person, but just image if she was!!

Neck Naked Innovation

32 of 365.

It’s 6 am in the morning and many woman of all ages (and some lucky men) with long locks of hair all over the world are having to make a strategic decision that will impact not only themselves, but also their work colleagues, family and friends.

That key decision is, should my hair be up or down? Now before you scoff at this important question, please understand that this key piece of personal grooming will influence their mood throughout the day, and potentially into the evening!

As I’m follicley challenged, I’m not that familiar with this mood influence, but according to “extensive personal research”, I’m now convinced of the data validity and the direct behavioural correlation. So for those of you looking for a worthwhile topic for an elaborate and complex government funded research project, look no further, this one will keep you mentally, and financially equipped, for years!

According to the “extensive data”, it’s not actually the length of the hair, but the feeling of the hair on the individual’s neck. The presence of neck hair apparently provides a feeling of protection from the surrounding environment, whereas no neck hair (the technical term known as “neck nakedness”) yields a sensation of freedom and potential optimism for the acceptance of new challenges! (yes, it’s all seen in the “analysis data”).

So, should you be planning to introduce a culture of innovation in your corporate office, may I suggest that an internal memorandum, issued by your HR Director, be quickly distributed instructing all employees to wear their hair up to ensure the best chance of success!

Now I can all hear you asking about those with a bald head. Well, the “data” suggests that these highly valued employees are the obvious candidates for the esteemed position of “Innovation Champions” as they have no creative inhibitions!

So next time you look at yourself in the mirror as you prepare yourself for your day of work, remember, the hairbrush is your key to corporate innovation!

Oh, what a feeling!

Jockey Underwear

“Now these do feel a bit different”, I thought to myself. Yes, the colour was rather flamboyant, not particularly subtle, quite tight and rather a snug, all encapsulating, body hugging fit. However, they did feel fantastic, so I purchased three pairs and I looked forward to wearing one pair under my suit trousers to work the following morning. Yes, in case they are what you are thinking, you are correct, they were some spiffy new underpants!

As I’m quite shy and reserved, although some of you who know me better may beg to differ, I am not showing you a photo, nor am I providing any additional information on the style of underpants. So those of you who were wondering if they were Y-front, low-cut hipsters, G-string or whether I’ve gone with the famous “commando”, you will never know!

So what has this got to do with the corporate office you may be asking? The answer is actually very relevant. No, I am not proposing that you promote an underwear parade at your place of employment where employees, both male and female, model the latest in underwear fashions. However, the concept would be rather unique and may lead to a new revolution in team bonding, but somehow I suspect that the HR team will find some harassment rule that may be applicable?

It does however lead to the question, are you a creature of habit? If I was to continue with the theme of underpants, do you wear the same style and coloured underpants each day? Are you set in your ways, and are you reluctant to change and explore new fashions and ideas that may better meet your underwear requirements?

The key is to explore new experiences in your work life that may lead to exciting and stimulating innovations of thought that you may have only dreamed about. If we stay in the same job and don’t challenge ourselves to test new frontiers, you will quickly fall into a rut and corporate boredom will prevail. This applies to the organization as a whole, not just the individual.

So if your business has that stayed underwear feel about it where corporate life is becoming a little bit faded, shabby and a tad loose fitting, may I strongly encourage you to introduce some creativity into your work routine as the resultant feeling, with something a little bit different, may just provide that required motivational step you are looking for in your career and place of employment.

Go on, give it a go!