Manners maketh the Man, but Fingers maketh the Creative

eating fingers

It’s all very civilised really, don’t you think? Gone are the days of actually feeling, and experiencing, the full texture of that carefully chosen food morsel we are about to lob onto our tastebuds for a complete flavoursome analysis. No longer do we meticulously separate that visually selected gastronomic delicacy utilising our malleable human fingertips where we monitor the optimum temperature, and then determine the requisite mouthful portion tailored to our individual personal requirements.

Nope, we as a society are totally reliant upon our engineered precision made eating utensils for the process of efficient food transfer. Our preferred choice of implement is the metal cast knife, fork or spoon. Some do harness the matching wooden chopstick for artistically aligned pickup, others may utilise the option of a sharp skewer with masterful mouth insertion, whilst at all times cognisant to avoid a potentially painful tongue piercing.

Yes, the result of all this non sensory eating methodology is that we have slowly lost our basic human instinct of innovative creativity where we historically used to review the best option to rip apart our selected food option, and then stuff it in to our mouths with gleeful indulgence! It has been said that manners maketh man, but at what cost?

So next time those in the corporate office are out at a swanky restaurant for that habitual team building dinner, why not make a group decision to revisit your primitive roots and say no to the cutlery adorning the table? Yes, you may make a tad more mess on the pristine white tablecloth, and cause the waiter to be slightly aghast, but the group eating experience of some dining savagery will indeed be worth it! For those prepared to really live on the innovative wild side, why not consider the friendly option of also placing an item of food into your neighbour’s hungry mouth? Now in this instance, manners are very important, as biting the hand that feeds you is not acceptable behaviour under any circumstances.

So the choice is simple, if you want to foster a culture of innovation in your business, eat with your fingers, and as a famous Kentucky Colonel used to say, it’s also apparently finger licking good! (so I’m told).

Your Very Own Personal “Sound Globe™”

Noise reduction ! the simple way !!

I re-inserted my snug fitting iPhone earplugs, quickly turned up the volume and hoped that the prevailing musical tones would assist with masking out the perpetual, and most unwelcome, office noise. On looking around the building, I noticed that the majority of my fellow workers, all had a similar array of self-imposed audio devices strategically placed within their inner ear canals with the hope of achieving that prized goal of thinking privacy.

Arhh yes, “the joys of working in an open planned office” I hear you all say with clenched teeth as you stifle the awkward exit of these words from your feigned smiling mouths!

For those of you that have the luxury of audio solitude as you sit within the contained comfort of your enclosed corporate office with a sound inhibiting door, you no longer need to feel isolated from this “joyous experience” as I have a cunning, and somewhat innovative solution, that will enable you to leave your well-guarded “den of silence” and happily re-engage with your work colleagues. I can hear your cheers of quiet approval already!

The key is in thinking differently! Rather than hindering unwanted audible sounds from entering your ears, why not stop recalcitrant and loud voices from leaving your head?

According to a “reputable and well known” materials engineering design source “close” to the author of this blog post, there will soon be a “yet to be invented” transparent, ceramic type material that has a unique combination of physical properties that include sound absorption, light weight and breathability. The material can be easily shaped to accommodate the contour of a human head and will be internationally promoted in all good retail stores under the “Sound Globe™” trademark, so all office workers will be able to readily purchase one.

Just imagine being able to purchase your own custom moulded “Sound Globe™” with the following features and benefits:

As no sound can permeate through the patented material used to construct the “Sound Globe™”, each device will have an inbuilt mobile phone transmitter so the wearer can communicate freely with the outer world. However, to those people standing next to the “Sound Globe™” wearer, no sound will be heard, the only indication of talk being the mimed mouth movements of the head within the device.

Some users of the “Sound Globe™” may not like the look of perceived baldness from the exceptionally smooth and shiny ceramic texture. To alleviate this public look, each “Sound Globe™” can be fitted with a visually pleasing externally mounted Velcro hair piece that can be obtained in a variety of fashionable lengths and stylish colours.
An additional benefit is derived for those that don’t like getting their real hair wet when walking in the rain as the “Sound Globe™” provides complete weather protection from the harshest meteorological conditions.

Air Circulation
Each “Sound Globe™” has its own inbuilt air heating and cooling system. So on those days when the office temperature may get a little bit unpleasant, relax, as that look of facial perspiration is now a thing of the past.

The “Sound Globe™” also measures facial colour change. So should you be a person who readily blushes, when this red colour is identified, the “Sound Globe™” quickly goes a solid black thereby disguising any personal embarrassment. However, should this occur, it is recommended that the wearer not move for at least 5 seconds, just in case they collide with a fellow worker owing to lack of external sight, and to ensure the requisite office HSE compliance.

The “Sound Globe™” does have a no-smoking design policy. Firstly, it will be difficult for you to place a cigarette into your mouth owing to the poor hand access to your lips. Secondly, should you manage to sneak a lit cigarette into your “Sound Globe™”. an inbuilt water spray is immediately released in order to extinguish any potential fire threat.

Of course there are many more benefits associated with this remarkable device, but I don’t want this blog post to sound too much like a product advertisement (as I do have a potential “conflict of interest”), so I will curtail my list to only those key ones mentioned above.

So the future of the open plan office does indeed look positive and one that ensures maximum sound productivity for all employees. Rumours are that the “Sound Globe™, will be available in the “near” future, so may I suggest that you quickly pre-order your own device to ensure that you do not miss out, and thereby avoid any personal disappointment.

Timing your “pop” just right!

281/365 - pop the bubbly.

Consider the champagne bottle from an anticipation perspective and I think you will agree that it is a world recognised winner on all fronts! So what is the key to its success?

The Shape
It is an impressive design that is bold at the base and sleek at the top that commands a prestigious occupation position when situated on the shelf with less humble bottles.

The Wrapping
The combination of a sophisticated bottle label with a wired opening mechanism is an engineering masterpiece.

The Cork
The unleashing of this pressurised stopper announces the progression of a carbonised fluid stream of enticing drinking refreshment culminating in a distinctive and highly audible popping sound!

So, when the champagne bottle that is characterised by its shape, wrapping and cork, is introduced into any party or special occasion, it is always greeted with an air of rapture and excitement!

But once it is opened and all the contents have been consumed, the bottle is now viewed with a past sense of occasion and one now spent. It can only be popped once, so the moment is eagerly cherished by all beholders.

In the corporate environment we can learn a lot from the champagne bottle when making any strategic announcements as you only get one chance to get the impact of the “pop” just right! Get it wrong and your important message becomes a fizzle.

The key is to gradually build and promote the anticipation via a combination of carefully scheduled pre-positioning communication snippets so when the time is optimum, your message goes off with an impressive “pop” and is immediately appreciated by all employees.

So focus on the timing and make sure that you get that “pop”……just right!



The “Doer People”

How the office will look like - North Angle

On the first day with any new organisation you are provided with an obligatory induction tour of the office building that highlights all the important items such as; the location of fire exits, bathrooms, canteen, photocopier and where to park your car.

This is good……but, I’m of the view that these tours omit one of the most important and practical aspects of the building that you need to quickly know to do your new job efficiently and productively……that of the “doer people”.

So who and what are “doer people”? These are people in the organisation that have been identified unofficially by their peers as the person you should ask when you need to quickly get something done “outside” the official corporate policy. For example:

“The IT Doer Person”
Should you encounter a problem with your computer, the official work procedure is to call your Help Desk. However, if you don’t have hours of spare time to sit on hold listening to some uninspiring feeble music, or a repeating corporate message before you are eventually told to turn your computer off and then restart it, you would alternatively approach your “The IT Doer Person. This person thrives on fixing computer related problems, are typically named Boris and will fix the problem through some unfathomable means that you will never have a hope in understanding, but who cares as it takes them only a few minutes and you will then be back to work!

“The Photocopier Fixer Doer Person”
You have all experienced the dreaded “beep” noise on the photocopier when you are in a hurry to print an important document. You could quickly solve the problem if you had a Masters Degree in Electrical Engineering, but you don’t and those who do have this qualification normally run in the opposite direction on hearing the “beep” so not to be disturbed. The solution is to quickly seek advice from your friendly “Photocopier Fixer Doer Person” who thrives on solving these electronic print problems with the same degree of enthusiasm as that famous Belgian detective Poirot solves many an English murder!

“The Coffee Connoisseur Doer Person”
You could partake of the instant coffee in the office canteen if your taste buds are nonexistent, or, you could seek out “The Coffee Connoisseur Doer Person”. This person typically has a thick black book containing many coffee stained pages listing all the best coffee shops in a short walking distance from the office. These people have a privileged position in the office and are at times of caffeine lack more respected than the CEO.

I’m sure that you can list numerous other strategic “doer persons” that could complement the above three “doers”.

These people are a rare and uniquely talented individual and one that should be a compulsory inclusion in any induction tour!

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