Your Very Own Personal “Sound Globe™”

Noise reduction ! the simple way !!

I re-inserted my snug fitting iPhone earplugs, quickly turned up the volume and hoped that the prevailing musical tones would assist with masking out the perpetual, and most unwelcome, office noise. On looking around the building, I noticed that the majority of my fellow workers, all had a similar array of self-imposed audio devices strategically placed within their inner ear canals with the hope of achieving that prized goal of thinking privacy.

Arhh yes, “the joys of working in an open planned office” I hear you all say with clenched teeth as you stifle the awkward exit of these words from your feigned smiling mouths!

For those of you that have the luxury of audio solitude as you sit within the contained comfort of your enclosed corporate office with a sound inhibiting door, you no longer need to feel isolated from this “joyous experience” as I have a cunning, and somewhat innovative solution, that will enable you to leave your well-guarded “den of silence” and happily re-engage with your work colleagues. I can hear your cheers of quiet approval already!

The key is in thinking differently! Rather than hindering unwanted audible sounds from entering your ears, why not stop recalcitrant and loud voices from leaving your head?

According to a “reputable and well known” materials engineering design source “close” to the author of this blog post, there will soon be a “yet to be invented” transparent, ceramic type material that has a unique combination of physical properties that include sound absorption, light weight and breathability. The material can be easily shaped to accommodate the contour of a human head and will be internationally promoted in all good retail stores under the “Sound Globe™” trademark, so all office workers will be able to readily purchase one.

Just imagine being able to purchase your own custom moulded “Sound Globe™” with the following features and benefits:

Silence
As no sound can permeate through the patented material used to construct the “Sound Globe™”, each device will have an inbuilt mobile phone transmitter so the wearer can communicate freely with the outer world. However, to those people standing next to the “Sound Globe™” wearer, no sound will be heard, the only indication of talk being the mimed mouth movements of the head within the device.

Hair
Some users of the “Sound Globe™” may not like the look of perceived baldness from the exceptionally smooth and shiny ceramic texture. To alleviate this public look, each “Sound Globe™” can be fitted with a visually pleasing externally mounted Velcro hair piece that can be obtained in a variety of fashionable lengths and stylish colours.
An additional benefit is derived for those that don’t like getting their real hair wet when walking in the rain as the “Sound Globe™” provides complete weather protection from the harshest meteorological conditions.

Air Circulation
Each “Sound Globe™” has its own inbuilt air heating and cooling system. So on those days when the office temperature may get a little bit unpleasant, relax, as that look of facial perspiration is now a thing of the past.

Embarrassment
The “Sound Globe™” also measures facial colour change. So should you be a person who readily blushes, when this red colour is identified, the “Sound Globe™” quickly goes a solid black thereby disguising any personal embarrassment. However, should this occur, it is recommended that the wearer not move for at least 5 seconds, just in case they collide with a fellow worker owing to lack of external sight, and to ensure the requisite office HSE compliance.

Smokers
The “Sound Globe™” does have a no-smoking design policy. Firstly, it will be difficult for you to place a cigarette into your mouth owing to the poor hand access to your lips. Secondly, should you manage to sneak a lit cigarette into your “Sound Globe™”. an inbuilt water spray is immediately released in order to extinguish any potential fire threat.

Of course there are many more benefits associated with this remarkable device, but I don’t want this blog post to sound too much like a product advertisement (as I do have a potential “conflict of interest”), so I will curtail my list to only those key ones mentioned above.

So the future of the open plan office does indeed look positive and one that ensures maximum sound productivity for all employees. Rumours are that the “Sound Globe™, will be available in the “near” future, so may I suggest that you quickly pre-order your own device to ensure that you do not miss out, and thereby avoid any personal disappointment.

Timing your “pop” just right!

281/365 - pop the bubbly.

Consider the champagne bottle from an anticipation perspective and I think you will agree that it is a world recognised winner on all fronts! So what is the key to its success?

The Shape
It is an impressive design that is bold at the base and sleek at the top that commands a prestigious occupation position when situated on the shelf with less humble bottles.

The Wrapping
The combination of a sophisticated bottle label with a wired opening mechanism is an engineering masterpiece.

The Cork
The unleashing of this pressurised stopper announces the progression of a carbonised fluid stream of enticing drinking refreshment culminating in a distinctive and highly audible popping sound!

So, when the champagne bottle that is characterised by its shape, wrapping and cork, is introduced into any party or special occasion, it is always greeted with an air of rapture and excitement!

But once it is opened and all the contents have been consumed, the bottle is now viewed with a past sense of occasion and one now spent. It can only be popped once, so the moment is eagerly cherished by all beholders.

In the corporate environment we can learn a lot from the champagne bottle when making any strategic announcements as you only get one chance to get the impact of the “pop” just right! Get it wrong and your important message becomes a fizzle.

The key is to gradually build and promote the anticipation via a combination of carefully scheduled pre-positioning communication snippets so when the time is optimum, your message goes off with an impressive “pop” and is immediately appreciated by all employees.

So focus on the timing and make sure that you get that “pop”……just right!

Cheers!

 

The Corporate DJ

Vintage Radio

Each city in the world has a variety of radio stations blurting out their own unique brand of sound.

As a listener, we tend to move between these radio stations depending on our mood, interest and other personal needs or community objectives.

The common factor with all these radio stations is communication and the desire to be heard or listened to by an individual.

So why is it that most businesses communicate to their employees using the same repetitive “radio station” which after a while most listeners tune out from, or decide to turn off? Why don’t they mix it up and provide a variety of “radio frequencies” that suit the various listeners in their business?

The solution is the “corporate DJ” who plays a range of different music styles that are constantly changing to meet the needs of all their employees. Each “tune” can have a consistent corporate message, but the tone is different and audibly appealing to the listener.

This sounds good to me!