All posts in category Uncategorized

The Answer to that Male Question

Shaving

There is “a question” that has been baffling mankind for centuries, and as “the answer” was unknown, professional men all around the world reluctantly decided to play it safe, just in case they got it wrong. That is, until now!

As I sat in private solace in the world-renowned Corporate Observation Research Zone (aka the Virgin Australia Lounge at Melbourne airport), after many minutes watching my fellow travelling compatriots, the clues to “the answer” slowly became apparent.

The attraction of the Virgin Australia Lounge is the diversity of corporate inhabitants that provide a huge array of visual observation fodder. There are men of all ages, some wearing suits, others casually dressed. Some with hair purposefully positioned on their face and heads, some with a deliberate close shaved facial nudified look, even those with an upper head appearance that conforms to their hairless heredity.

“The answer” to “the question” is that it doesn’t matter where your draw that “line of separation”.

Yes, men from the time they first decided to shave have been in a quandary as to where to position that mysterious demarcation line that signifies the end of the side-burn. To make matters even more confusing, should the man be fortunate enough to have a headless head, and has a beard, where should the top of the side-burn commence?

The author of this blog post is pleased to advise that men’s side-burn fashion has now progressed to the point where no facial rules apply. Men are now exercising their innovative side-burn freedom and are letting their razors do the talking without any limitation, or fear of visual retribution.

So men, next time you are confronted with a decision as where to “draw the line of separation”, relax, the choice is indeed yours. And should you make a mistake, all is good, as the hairy, or hairless, problem will be rectified in due course by the planned arrival of the following morning, when next you look in the mirror equipped with your trusty razor.

Leave a comment
by Steven Cramer on June 19, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on June 19, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/06/19/the-answer-to-that-male-question/

“White Rabbit” Behaviour

55090611e4ef2-0112-woman-hanging-on-clock-xl

According to a recent and widely acclaimed behavioural study, one of the biggest killers of innovation in the corporate office is the effect known as “White Rabbit” disease. Once a business is infested with this potent virus, it quickly spreads, and is difficult to exterminate without the introduction of a brutal change management regime.

The “White Rabbit” disease gets its name from the fictional character in the book “Alice in Wonderland” (Lewis Carroll), where a large white rabbit is seen to be in a continual state of panic, whilst shouting the words “Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!”

Those employees exhibiting “White Rabbit” behaviour are easily identifiable. They will be the visibly stressed people rushing from meeting to meeting, always running late, and will be constantly letting you know just how busy they are with strong verbal flagellation sighs of self-importance.

If your organisation is deemed to have too many “White Rabbit” sufferers, and should an appropriate course of corrective action not be immediately implemented by a suitably qualified corporate physician, a stock market directive of absolute quarantine may be imposed. A short time later, a quick financial business vaporization will then prevail with irreversible effect.

But there is a simple and effective treatment that can be easily applied to those afflicted with the “White Rabbit” disease, and one which also acts as a long term inoculation for those that don’t yet exhibit any of the symptoms.

The treatment is called “time”. Not just any “time”, but “thinking time”, where the psychological stress and strain of those affected, who believe they have a need to rush in the corporate office, is eliminated from their daily ritual. The habitual application of “thinking time” leads to the development of a creative thought which tends to free the poor sufferer from all anxiety, which apparently has a direct causal link with the onset of “White Rabbit” disease.

Repeated applications of the treatment also appears to fortify the organization’s resistance to the affliction with lasting effect, as their employee’s ability to think creatively is reinforced, and in due course, may even lead to the encouraging signs of innovation.

So the answer is clear. When the first indications of “White Rabbit” disease become apparent, be swift with the copious application of “thinking time”, before it is too late!

 

Leave a comment
by Steven Cramer on June 7, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on June 7, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/06/07/white-rabbit-behaviour/

Read My Lips

Jumbo Mumbo Doll

“Read my lips”, was the instruction.

As always, my earplugs were deeply inserted into my ear canals as I tried to block out the unwelcome background noise on my early morning Virgin Australia flight from Melbourne to Sydney.

The air-hostess, dressed impeccably in her swish fashionably styled Virgin Australia uniform was making an announcement on the PA. I heard not a word, but I understood everything that she said. Yes, I was reading her lips.

A few minutes later, I pondered why? Then it dawned on me. It was her intensely bright red lipstick. Yes, I was fixated on those lips! It wasn’t the form, nor the shape of her mouth, it was the colour. This was the beginning of a theory that needed to be tested further, and I was the man for the job.

That day, I focussed on trying to read the conversations permeating from those around me, what influenced my interest and receptivity in how they delivered their words. You will be pleased to know that I was very academic in my research. I ensured that my analysis environment included a vast number of different types of cafés, restaurants, office foyers, and a rich and random selection of outdoor locations where a full range of men and women (some nude lipped, others lip coloured) were talking. I racked up a long list of expenses on my corporate AMEX card as testament to my investigation, just in case some yet unknown university wanted to continue my research at a later date.

That night, as I sat exhausted in my lush hotel room in Darling Harbour, I collated the copious notes that I had taken throughout the day. After what seemed like hours of intense analysis, the solution became all too clear. The key was in the lipstick colour, the winner, most definitely being bright red.

Now, there is a learning here for those working in the corporate office. Should you want your colleagues to listen to what you say, or to read your lips (should they be audibly challenged, or not really paying attention), then make sure that you wear bright red lipstick as it is the visual reader’s colour of choice.

Although diversity is indeed a requirement in business, I’m not suggesting for a moment that my male colleagues adorn the bright red lipstick (Note to HR: yes, I know, not unless they want to), but a bright red pocket hanky will suffice just as well.

Yes, embellish your body with red, and you will be seen, and most definitely heard.

2 Comments
by Steven Cramer on June 4, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on June 4, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/06/04/read-my-lips/

Just Let Go of the Handle

exceso-de-equipaje-01

Yes, I was getting rather red-faced, and quite ashamedly puffed, as I slowly walked up the steeply inclined hill, dressed in my conservatively fashionable grey striped corporate suit as I struggled to pull my now permanently attached heavy personal load of legacy.

Just then, a woman furnishing a strikingly long blond bouncy pony-tail in a smashing dark blue skirt, and might I say equally impressive matching business jacket, whooshed past me in high heels with a remarkably larger suitcase. I looked in awe at her powerful and decisive walking strides as I tried to fathom out how she managed to do it with such energetic ease!

But my gaze was quickly interrupted by another two sprightly dressed managers running at an even faster pace, both pulling their custom designed Samsonite luggage four-wheelers, each embellished with their own names in large gold font.

Then something happened, I know not why, or how, but that’s irrelevant.

For some unpredictable reason, I’d had enough of this torturous pulling task and quickly made a strategic life-changing decision to let go of my suitcase. A few seconds later, this thought vacuole representing all my personal hang-ups dropped to the footpath with a sound deafening thud.

Everyone around me on the pristinely manicured corporate pathway of business life immediately stopped at this most unexpected strange sight. Many of my work colleagues looked dumbfounded as they tried to comprehend my unforeseen spontaneous action. Those that despised any change in their corporate routine passionately pleaded with me to quickly bend down and pick up my personal baggage, before it was too late to correct. They had obviously assumed that I must have made some unprecedented forgetful error of judgement, or I was suffering the result of various undiagnosed terminal medical conditions.

But it was no mistake.

“Are you OK? How do you feel?”

Questions exploring my sanity repeatedly permeated from all the travellers on the well-worn corporate path. A crowd had now gathered resulting in massive suitcase puller traffic chaos that continued to radiate in an exponentially increasing larger circumference. As the minutes progressed, more and more office workers quickly became entangled in my individual thought encapsulated suitcase stoppage.

Eventually, as my shock subsided, I was able to talk, and the words just naturally came out.

“I feel spiffily brilliant! A mind deadening tumorous weight that has been curiously burdening, and labelling me, for all my working life has now been lifted. More importantly, no longer will I carry the mistakes from my past. From now on, I will start each working day with no encumbrances! I can only urge, and encourage all of you, to join me in experiencing this unique thinking sensation!”

Then to my surprise, one by one, those on the corporate footpath of professional life slowly started unshackling their tightly gripped hands from their own emotional chains of longstanding baggage ownership. A few minutes later, the once neat business path now resembled a crowded luggage carousel at London’s Heathrow airport where a stockpile of randomly placed suitcases littered the path’s perimeter extremities!

The sound of joy, laughter and intoxicating chatter quickly prevailed and reverberated through the surrounding corporate environment as no one elected to pick up their once owned thought baggage.

And so it remained from that eventful day forth.

So next time you travel on business, have a good look at your luggage, and remember with confident assurance that your past has no influence on your future, however, you do need to make the decision to consciously let go of the handle, and never look back.

Leave a comment
by Steven Cramer on June 3, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on June 3, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/06/03/just-let-go-of-the-handle/

Words Unspoken, But So Understood

ARTS010181

“Click” went the camera.

“That was a brilliant pose Janice! You looked fantastic with the bright light warming you as you stood in the doorway with your arms raised. Who would have believed that it’s the middle of winter here in Melbourne and it only stopped raining an hour ago”, said Henry Talbot (1960s Fashion Photographer*).

Janice laughed. “I hope you aren’t doing a close up as the large goose bumps on my arms would want a special credit in the photograph owing to their prominence!”

The photo was taken sometime between 1956 and 1961 and it had pride of place on the wall in my corporate office. The dated dialog between Janice and Henry was completely unknown to me; however, I just loved the look of the black and white photograph. Every time I saw Janice, I smiled as she provided me with a brief moment of inspiration that momentarily took me on a mental journey into a glamorous and unknown world that mingled with her past.

A thought then arose as I pondered her photograph.

Janice and Henry were in dialog when the image was taken; they were communicating and embellished the cultural mood of their time. The photograph was a snapshot in history that I, as the observer, brought to life in my mind approximately 60 years later. Other corporate colleagues visiting my office would also see Janice, yet their fabrication of her persona would indeed be different to mine.

So what if a photographer took an image of me sitting at my desk? How would observers view me in 60 years from now? Would they comment on my suit, my bow tie, my cuff links, or my corporate image?

No, I suspect none of these, but hopefully they would notice my smile. A smile that should be responding to a business culture that was innovative, creative and one that made me happy and content. Yes, a photograph does indeed tell a thousand words. The key is a want to listen.

Now for those HR Managers reading this blog post, take note. Why don’t you walk around your corporate office and surreptitiously shoot a candid, unprompted image of your employees. Look deep into the photograph and make sure that you analyse the true and honest feelings that your colleagues are portraying. Take a range of images over time and study the trend. The true answer will be in their smile.

I again looked up at the image of Janice and once again gave her a silent nod of appreciation. “Thanks Janice for your timeless and continual inspiration”.

Image: Fashion Illustration for Sportscraft, Model Janice Wakely, Photographer Henry Talbot

* http://www.ngv.vic.gov.au/ebooks/HenryTalbot/index.php?chapter=2

2 Comments
by Steven Cramer on May 28, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on May 28, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/05/28/words-unspoken-but-so-understood/

The Male V

6a00d8341c5b6153ef011570eacef6970b-300wi

What was the cause? The effect was indeed quite noticeable, and one that had been surreptitiously permeating the male physique for the past few years with minimal commentary from the more discerning female adult population who normally observe these things.

As I stood shamelessly in front of the hotel bathroom mirror whilst on a recent business trip with all but a white pristine bath towel encapsulating my lower half, I made a virtuous decision on behalf of corporate mankind to try and understand the origin of this visual perplexity. I looked at myself and realised that I, like many other men, was also not immune from this male condition.

Now before I proceed too far, you as an inquisitive reader might be wondering as to the potential side effects of this uniquely male malady, and more importantly, its impact on those that come into close male physical proximity. Firstly, relax, as the influence is positive and one that signals to the naked chest observer that the man beholden to this condition is highly innovative and a vigilant embellisher of a free thought.

The main visual clue is a sun-bleached v-shaped band of thick wavy chest hair that starts just below the male adult neck line and continues for a typical distance of about four inches in a downward direction. After extensive research utilising the detailed observation skills of many office based corporate female colleagues, a uniform and consistent visual theme started to emerge to which there can be no question, nor doubt of authenticity.

The chest follicular condition is believed to have first surfaced in the 1960s and 70s when many a business man elected to have a shirt dress code that was rather devoid of buttons. As the decades unfolded, men chose to portray a regressive and traditionally conservative closed shirt collar policy that supported a full neck length tie. However, over the past few years, men have discarded these formal fashion knotted links to the past and have gleefully accepted an open collared shirt prowess that has been readily approved by the business world as a sign confirming their creativity.

The consequence of this decisive fashion action has been exponential male chest hair freedom, a complete contrast to the historical times where they had been subjected to a barrage of restrictive shirt button protection and coverage. These empowered and unconstrained hairs are now able to reach their full bushy length potential and grow with unity in a v-shaped formation in solidarity with their DNA facial haired brothers.

So, should you, like me, no longer be a wearer of the business tie, may you flaunt your chest hairs in public with pride as you let all onlookers appreciate that you are doing your bit for the growth of innovation and creativity in the corporate office!
Leave a comment
by Steven Cramer on May 26, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on May 26, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/05/26/the-male-v/

All it takes is a Jump

woman-flying-through-sky-side-view-1761303

I felt quite smug as I sat in the middle of my corporate nest as I delightedly acknowledged the numerous platitudes from my fellow bird siblings as they complimented me on my latest innovative feat. Yes, no other bird could match my skills in nest cleanliness and twig weaving; I was a bird who had no equal. I had spent all my working life perfecting my ability and I was the envy of all those in my nest.

However, with an unexpected rustle of feathers, my formidable life as I knew it changed forever as an older sister bird unexpectedly flew in from a distant tree. How she got there, I did not quite understand, but it took all of us nest bound birds by great surprise.

She cooed up to me with a confident waddle and greeted me with a beak expression that was definitely from out of this nest. I was in awe of her and needed to know more! She folded her broad colourful wings and together we sat perched in a quiet corner of the nest.

As we jointly partook of a nice fat juicy green worm, the dialog commenced and she told me of a life beyond the nest. I listened intently as she described an array of different branches, insects, water and other birds. My eyes, ears and feathers strained to comprehend the world that was being described to me. I had to experience it and asked her to show me the way.

My older sister smiled, and with a gentle melodious voice beckoned me to tail her to the edge of the nest. I immediately followed her with uncertainty and trepidation as fear tried to stop me from waddling to the top of the nest. But I refused to give in, I was now in “no birds land”, one foolish step and I would fall to the depths below.

Once again her calming melodious voice instructed me to open my virgin wings. I copied her wing movement, became totally petrified and shut my eyes as she instructed me with confident authority to “jump”.

I obeyed the instruction. A second later, as I saw the bottom of the forest rush up to me, I began to panic! But, after a short moment, my beady bird eyes suddenly saw the bright blue sky as an intense whooshing noise accompanied me as I reached unknown lofty heights. Wow, this is amazing as I looped the loop, and enthusiastically flapped as I glided around the forest with a new perspective on life.

Now, my dear reader, I’m sure that you can see the application of this feathery story in the corporate office. Yes, many employees look to within for innovation. However, the catalyst to creativity is achieved from experiences outside the “nest”. Sometimes, employees just need some encouragement to open their “wings” and “jump”.

 

Leave a comment
by Steven Cramer on May 21, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on May 21, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/05/21/all-it-takes-is-a-jump/

The Benefits of Man-Flu

Manflu2

In the Southern hemisphere, as the days now get colder, there is an all too familiar sound that is starting to be heard, that being; “arrrhhh chooo!” It is typically the unwelcome sign that signals the onset of the thinking man’s worst fear, that being the dreaded “man-flu”.

Yes, this condition is debilitating on the male form. All physical activity quickly grinds to a reluctant halt, accompanied by feeble pleas for female support and loving reassurance that the world as we know it will not end.

During this time, those afflicted with this thankfully curable diagnosis are forced to ponder life, the universe, and the Foxtel sports channel guide, whilst patiently recuperating in a large king-sized bed, or on a strategically positioned and well cushioned couch. We suffer in silence as we consume endless cups of hot coffee or tea, complete with the occasional snack of peanuts, chips and maybe a token lemon enriched vitamin supplement, as we blow our noses in between the TV advertising breaks.

However, as is typical with most “near-death” experiences, once the man-flu sufferer has triumphed over the worst part of this malady and can see that their short-term life prospects will actually be regained; they have time to reflect on the important things in their life. This “time of reflection”, known amongst males as “milking the best of the condition before the female knows that we are actually feeling better” is when our creativity and acting skills are maximised to new levels of innovation. Without this male innate skill that is passed secretly from father to son, our opportunity for “reflection” would be drastically cut short, as would our hold on the sacred TV remote control button.

Now for all you HR Managers reading this blog post please don’t be too quick in rejecting any requested sick leave applications where you now doubt the authenticity of the male requester. Why, because your company’s dedicated male employees have been cleverly utilizing their time at home to fine-tune and improve their imagination skills, all part of their “time of reflection”. So, just approve the application, rolls your eyes, and say, “typical”.

Leave a comment
by Steven Cramer on May 3, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on May 3, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/05/03/the-benefits-of-man-flu/

Fashion’s Icon Origin

3790d122f8f9391069d75c71495355dd

The year is 537 BC (Before Celtic). Frolicking in a thick thistle field, Angus McDougall shrieks with such gusto that his cry is heard in a neighbouring valley by his good friend Lachie Tartain. A few hours later (although the definition of “hour” was not actually known at that stage in time), a hairy bare bottomed Lachie quickly dashes to his friend to identify the origin of his voluminous outburst of consternation.

He quickly finds his friend sitting cross-legged in a grassy field with deep scratch marks that not even Angus’s copious hairy legs could conceal. To his great alarm, Angus was still fuming in a Celtic expletive dialect that was quickly expanding even Lachie’s quite broad vocabulary. “Enough is Enough” Angus shouts, pointing to his thistle beaten legs, with his hands strategically pointing higher up his body with a manly concern regarding his long term procreative dignity. “Give me a flint, let’s burn the whole of this thistle infested terrain down for the sake of future Celtic generations!”

Just as the flint was about to ignite a massive bonfire positioned centrally in the obstreperous thistle field, a thoughtful representative from the formidable King’s Guard just happened to be passing by and loudly proclaimed the “26th Law of the Celtic land” that prohibited any incineration that might affect Scotland’s natural heritage. “Stop in the name of the King you hair embellished man!” to which Angus immediately ceased his destructive thistle life endangering combustible plan.

Angus quickly rebutted with yet another rich array of complex Celtic expletives and pointed emphatically at his red, bleeding legs. A real Celtic “barnie” was about to eventuate, but thankfully Lachie quickly interjected before any dangerous use of the large, sharp thistle held in Angus’s hand could be thrust in a very forceful manner into the annoying King’s Guard’s body.

Fortunately, Lachie had a curt cunning plan that would provide the perfect solution. He pulled the monochromatic saddle cloth off the horse of the King’s Guard and quickly wrapped it around Angus’s legs. With a look of dismay, Angus used the cloth to wipe the red blood, and the green and yellow thistle smears from his body, and then threw it vehemently back in the direction of the King’s Guard. The cloth landed flat and unfurled on the rough Celtic landscape. All three men looked in wonder at the criss-crossed coloured patterns that Angus had created.

Yes, my dear readers, this was the origins of the Celtic tartan. In what was typical Lachie Tartain fashion, he claimed the idea as his own, but through the passage of time, the Tartain eventually became the well-loved “tartan” (with the dropping of the “i”) that all Celts now claim as their own. Yes, it is indeed a “true” story, or so I’m told.

NB: But the “i” was never forgotten. If you listen to a Scotsman or Scotswoman today, the word “aye” (aka the “i” from the Tartain) still lingers which accurately personifies a true Celt, complete with his or her own tartan.

Leave a comment
by Steven Cramer on April 29, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on April 29, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/04/29/fashions-icon-origin/

The Battle of the Left and the Right

Brain2

And so the tussle starts, yet again, as my daily morning alarm triggers the conscious awakening between my two better halves. The barrage of questions are initiated, and rebuffed, as both sides of me begin the battle for short term body dominance. At the end of the day, my internal scoreboard signifies a winner, but there is only one victor, that being me. Yes, after years of mind training, I have finally mastered my own unique and personal source of creativity. But, we all have this innate ability, we just need to let the dynamics of our left and right brain thought processes engage in mutually beneficial conflict for assured perpetual self-development.

All of us have experienced the continuous battles within our own individual minds, either consciously of perhaps subconsciously. These intellectual disagreements may come in a variety of guises, such as the choice between eating a healthy breakfast, or alternatively choosing a full fat one with all the delicious trimmings, others could be habitually shaving your face in the morning without question (yes, I’m assuming you are male), or challenging the status quo and electing to go with that fashionable facial stubicular appearance.

Now it just so happens that there is an important section of “mass” within your brain that operates centrally between the left and right spheres, and this location is the strategic source of all your innovation. This is the battlefield where your mathematical and creative ideas have a virtual punch up and fight for the opportunity to implement their personalized wishes over your actions. However, you, as the owner of this battlefield, need to be tactically clever to ensure that both sides have an equal chance of winning. Should one brain side win a tad too often it will become a little bit too cocky, alternatively, the other side may become demoralized and could give up trying to play the mind game and a dangerous state of imbalance will prevail. Should this occur, this is where negative personality issues may become evident which could lead to a variety of unwanted and socially unacceptable psychological problems within the owner.

So next time you have the sensation of feeling a debate of choice within your mind, relax, all is ok, it’s just your brain engaging in some power play between the left and the right sections. But do make sure that they play fair thereby ensuring that you reap the ongoing rewards of your personal innovation.

1 Comment
by Steven Cramer on April 18, 2016  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Steven Cramer on April 18, 2016

https://thinkingfuturethoughts.com/2016/04/18/the-battle-of-the-left-and-the-right/

« Older Posts
Newer Posts »