The Shop of Waistful Circumference

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You all know that feeling. It’s your first day back from your Xmas holidays where you have habitually eaten, drunk and partied far too much and are now experiencing that unwelcome feeling of regretful tubbiness. Yes, those business shirts, trousers, skirts and belt buckles have all mysteriously shrunk in size, the cause of which is all too obvious to you now, unfortunately.

If only you had visited the Shop of Waistful Circumference (WC) before you commenced your holidays and all this physical discomfort would have been happily alleviated. Yes, there is always next year!

For those clever corporates that did indeed partake of the Shop of WC, you will be beaming with girthful happiness as you are breathing with comfort in your business attire.

The Shops of WC are strategically located in all major cities where there is a large business community and can be quickly found following a simple internet search.

When entering the Shop, you will be greeted by an experienced employee that has immediately surmised your current clothing size, so relax, as you will not need to divulge this protected number to alleviate any potential embarrassment.

However, you will be asked some basic questions about your plans for the Xmas holidays. For example, are you fond of plum pudding, do you frequently drink cocktails whilst lazing on a couch, have you placed your gym membership on hold, together with and other key clues of food intake and physical activity?

After some careful thoughtful consideration, the knowledgeable Shop of WC employee will suggest a tailored approach to your personalised tubbiness management regime that will ensure a welcome and fitted business attired start to your new year.

The Shop of WC has a vast array of fashionable clothing that you can purchase and wear with personal esteem over the Xmas holidays because you know that you will be in optimum body shape come that January back to work commencement date.

Now do not be alarmed by what the Shop of WC employee offers you as each item of clothing will be at least one or two sizes too small. Yes, you will deliberately be made to feel a tad plump and uncomfortable. But relax, as this is the secret to your success. These overly snug, body hugging clothes will be a continual reminder for you not indulge too much, but rather to consume a smaller amount of food, drink or other worldly delights over this Xmas period.

Come January when you thankfully discard your Shop of WC clothes and re-adorn your favourite business wardrobe from yesteryear that now remarkedly fit with no noticeable girth discomfort, you will be glad of the physical awkwardness that you begrudgingly accepted over the holidays.

What are you waiting for? Yes, just place an entry in your diary now for December to visit the Shop of WC and breath a sigh of clothing relief next year!

Innovation that Works Out

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On doing a rather nonchalant and hopefully surreptitious visual comparison, mine was definitely the most hairy and very much the plumpest. The young woman on the machine next to me was the personification of goddess perfection, flat stomach, not a mark of perspiration, and any skerrick of anything that remotely resembled fat was just a fictitious illusion of a historical redundant memory.

We both looked around the room that was thumping to the beat of numerous high powered eardrum splitting musical chords harmoniously bumping in unison with an array of complex mechanical contraptions, all emblazoned with men and women of a diverse range of skills and ages.

Some were adorned in the latest skin tight fashion clothing that left absolutely nothing to the observer’s imagination, others, like me, were frolicking quite respectfully in loose fitting garments that provided a modicum of respectful self-integrity and decency.

We may dress differently, have a body shape that defines us most uniquely, and may not all be blessed with copious amounts of greying hairs that frequent many hidden, and some not so well disguised anatomical locations. Yet, each one of us knew that despite our outward physical appearances, we were all very much alike as we strived for our individual goals, although they may be different.

We could be mentally discouraged and thwarted in achieving our bodily objectives by looking at those that have an appearance that seemed totally unattainable to us mere normal mortals, but each of us voluntary decide to soldier on and take that additional, and sometimes painful progressive step. We elect not to give in, not to eat that extra piece of enticing chocolate, not to have that additional large bite from that glorious greasy hot Chicko Roll, but rather focus on a complex diet of proven healthy options.

If the location was that of a corporate office, and those striving for the attainment of improved fitness and well-being were the employees, then the situation would be analogous to those talented individuals that yearn for a culture of innovation.

Innovation is not reserved for a select few, it takes time, effort, sustained commitment and continued practice. Those seeking its attainment may fail the first time, but with the right mindset and support, they will indeed succeed.

Innovation needs an organisational infrastructure that provides the correct tools to hone and shape their employees creative skills via an ongoing exercise regime of mental ingenuity that challenges, and also supports the individual.

Yes, innovation is like a gym, it needs to be worked and continually applied, otherwise, the corporate office just turns to flab.

Wink to the Rhythm

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Woohooo, there was only two minutes to go!

You could sense the air of anticipation as everyone was starting to psych themselves up for it! As the seconds counted down, people were trying to hurriedly conclude their phone conversations, meetings were quickly ending and there was a mass movement of excited employees all racing back their desks in order to get there in time. I was no exception as I looked down at the clock on my computer screen and saw that it was now 1:59 PM, only one more minute to wait!

Then at precisely 2:00 PM, with all the office staff now quietly seated at their allocated desk positions, it started.

The PA system crackled and the countdown began….5, 4, 3, 2, 1. On reaching the eagerly awaited number 1, the “gym workout music” loudly blurted out throughout the building with a rhythm of exactly 150 beats per minute.

As my desk was situated to the extreme left of the building, it was my allocated task to start the “Mexican Wave of Wink”. I turned my head to Melissa (the colleague on my right) and winked my right eye and smiled. Immediately, Melissa winked her left eye in time to the beat, then quickly turned her head to face Jules (seated on her right) and winked her right eye with perfect musical synergy, together with a the requisite beaming smile. This process continued in time to the beat until all 153 employees had winked and smiled. On reaching Peter, who was seated at the extreme right of the building, his timely wink initiated the “wink rebound” back along the “wink-chain” until I was able to receive the wink with my opposite eye. Gleeful and spontaneous laughter prevailed, as it was a unique sight to behold and a great opener to the daily 2:00 PM ritual.

My next task was to pass the “K-card”, once again in time to the beat, to Melissa, who handed it to Jules, and the process again continued. At the same time, Peter spun around once in his desk chair and stood up, thereby signalling to Angus (sitting on his left), to spin and stand up, again the process continued, until the music beat randomly stopped. The person in possession of the “K-card” now had to do some solo “krumping” for 5 seconds, following which the beat would start up again signalling the continuation of the “K-card” passing and chair spinning/standing.

Ten minutes later, the beat stopped. All employees now returned to work.

However, there was a noticeable “buzz” permeating throughout the corporate office. Motivation, employee concentration, and a most recognizable feeling of fun and teamwork prevailed.

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