Pinocchio’s Law

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A comprehensive population study has recently been completed, by a soon to be prestigious university, that will provide society with a foolproof DNA roadmap ensuring the long term wellbeing of mankind’s want for cultural innovation.

The analysis results were remarkably simple by their nature and have confirmed that people just needed to open their eyes as the source of innovation was, literally before their faces. The researchers wisely named their innovation theory “Pinocchio’s Law” owing to the direct, physical and observable correlation with their university findings.

The results indicated that when an individual fabricates a story, lies, or promotes an untruth, their brain stimulates a corresponding creative growth hormone that initiates increased nasal development. For those people that have mastered this technique, their noses will typically be abnormally long. This also assists in explaining the timeless conundrum as to why babies have small noses, as they have not yet perfected the skill of deception.

Another strategic correlation linked to an individual’s deception ability is that of innovation. An innovative mind needs to be able to think differently and to quickly fabricate events in order to achieve a plausible scenario, even though it might be highly fictitious.

So for those of you that want to spawn a race of innovative offspring, the answer is quite simple. You just need to find a reproductive partner with a nose that is significantly longer than yours, or at least of a matching length.

However, for those of you with a spiritual, sinless and purity of thought inclination, you too have a visual clue to assist you in finding that perfect life accomplice. Yes, you need to seek out people with a short stubby nose, and the chance of any negative humanistic deception tendencies will be minimised.

Yes, “Pinocchio’s Law” can also benefit those in business. Should your CEO have an unusually large nose, well the verdict is simple, don’t believe everything your are told!

In summary, bigger is indeed not better, unless you like deception.

The Power of Paisley

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In 1969, 400,000 people attended a music festival on a green dairy farm in New York state. This event was to be immortalised emotionally in history as “Woodstock”. It captured the attention of the world for its music, illicit drugs and some “other communal people bonding activities”. Those who participated, say, that it was one of the most memorable events of their lives. It also made an enduring impact on subsequent generations that many other music festivals have tried to emulate, but without the same impact.

But according to an obscure newspaper article recently discovered in the 1970 archives of the now defunct “New York Advertiser”, the origin of the creative power supposedly unleashed on the unsuspecting youth at Woodstock, actually had its roots in another fashion phenomenon that was prevalent in that decade. The journalist involved apparently conducted extensive research by frequenting many then hip social establishments in New York, London, Paris and even in Melbourne. Unfortunately, this person cannot be contacted as they died of some mysterious illness, possibly as a side-effect of immersing themselves a little too much into the vices of that period. However, thankfully their factual legacy of research has again been unearthed.

After months of correlating interviews, notes, photographs, and other intense mind-bending observations, this brilliant journalist made a key psychedelic discovery that had swirling colours linked to its fundamental core. Yes, the research all lead to one insightful cause, that being the fabric paisley. If you have ever looked attentively at paisley, you will quickly succumb to that hypnotic effect where your eyes start to lose focus, followed by a sense of cross-eyed related dizziness that slowly, and involuntary, incapacitates the observer.  Those at Woodstock, incorrectly linked this perceived clumsy behaviour on the influence of various drug cocktails, but this was indeed an error in scientific fact.

Now for those of you working in the corporate office, take note as a powerful source of creativity has just been revealed. The answer is indeed simple and only requires your fellow employees to adorn a fashionable shirt, suit, skirt or sock tailored in this remarkable paisley fabric. But a word of caution is indeed required. Should your co-workers appear a tad too jolly at the end of the working day, relax, as you don’t need to promptly invoke your drug and alcohol policies, rather, just ask them to take off the offending item of clothing and the inappropriate behaviour will immediately cease.

Yes, it’s just the Power of Paisley.

 

Membership in the League of Hairy Chested Men

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There are many “taboo” topics that are typically not talked about in a public forum, and particularly not in the corporate office. Similarly, these items of private interest are also not privy to the benefit of being found in numerous blog post searches, nor other forms of the social networking media.

No, I’m not talking “women’s issues”, I’m talking one that has been baffling men for thousands of years and I think it is time for it to make an appearance without any fear of reprisal or public humiliation!

I for one, have embraced my DNA heredity right of manhood and display my male characteristics to the fullness. How do I feel you may ask? Brilliant, and I encourage all men to follow my lead and embrace their god given right to show it!

Yes, I’m a full member of the “League of Hairy Chested Men”. That’s right, I have copious amounts of chest hair and I’m not ashamed to show it, in fact, I flaunt it whenever possible!

Now all you clothing fashion designers reading this blog post, take note as there are some important and key learnings here for you. Now that I have your attention, please consider the following points when next you develop a shirt for men:

Buttons: There are too many. You can increase your profits by eliminating the top three buttons, as they are superfluous for the hairy chested man. We like to flaunt our masculinity and these additional buttons just get in the way of our exhibitionist tendencies.

Fabric Thickness: Don’t skimp here! Men’s chest hairs are sneaky little creatures and they just love peering through the cloth. The result is an itchy chest and a look that can be a tad prickly to the observer.

Colour: Not white, as we don’t want our hidden hairs taking over the surreptitious show from those that have been formally allowed to preen in a public and approved manner.

So, to all you women read this post, the future of men’s chest hairs are indeed in your hands. You have the power to encourage your menfolk to show their hairiness and to join me in the global quest for chest hair freedom!

To all you hairy men…..be seen, be hairy! It’s a great feeling of empowerment!

Image: Shutterstock

Coloured Ideas of Sex

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There is a saying that innovation occurs when ideas have sex. This might be fine for those free thinking happy go lucky ideas, but it is not acceptable behaviour in the corporate office! You will find quite a few policies and a vast array of T&Cs of employment covering this issue. It is just not the done thing!

But what if there was a way that the ideas of employees could actually interact with each other and ‘have sex’ in a non-physical way that kept the HR policy enforcers content?

So just how could this be achieved?

Just imagine if ideas could be linked to a set of corresponding colours? Employees could then generate a large number of thoughts which would initiate an array of colours that could be captured electronically.

The next step would be to provide a ‘comfortable and relaxed’ meeting place for these ideas to ‘get to know each other’, similar to a date. This might be achieved via the use of a shared public directory on the corporate intranet?

After some interaction, where the respective ideas would get to ‘know each other a little better’, some of the more progressive and risk adverse ideas might establish a mutual attraction which may encourage a closer and more intimate colourful relationship to develop?

With time, these electronic coloured ideas might just combine together to achieve a new and innovative thought creation?

Other ideas that may be a tad bashful or reserved, may observe the progressive nature and associated benefits of those less risk adverse ideas and just let their inhibitions go and strive for new heights in idea colour combination!

The electronic idea colours could also allow for global interaction between business divisions where traditional cultural and social differences may tend to limit interaction?

Taking the concept further, older ideas from previous employees could be mixed with new and current ideas to achieve the benefits derived from previous learnings and experiences.

Yes, it is just a colourful idea concept and I’m not saying that it has any real prospect in developing into corporate reality, but hopefully it has got you thinking that little but differently! The key is to let different ideas mix and combine with others to form something quite innovative and new in the corporate office.