The Retirement Rebirth

The year is 2125 and I have now been in cryogenic retirement for the past 100 years. I vividly recall my last day in the corporate office when my career became literally frozen in time.

As my mind starts the thawing process, I wonder what awaits me as I re-enter the workforce. The first question that puzzles me is, why now? Yes, I have been “on ice” for the past century, and for what reason should I be awoken from my forced corporate sabbatical slumber?

I awake to see a room full of excited business people in casual clothing gesticulating around me as my corporate consciousness quickly regains my innate faculties. They gleefully welcome me into their relaxed business world with sighs of relief and wonderment.

I look intently at their faces with puzzlement and seek an answer to my question.

Over the following day, I learn their predicament.

The Goldfish:
These employees have the attention span of a goldfish. Owing to the memory dilution influences of prolonged social media, they cannot concentrate for a period longer than 3 minutes. They all wear name tags as their interpersonal recognition is essentially non-existent which makes teamwork an impossibility.

Strategic Analysis:
Their reliance on artificial intelligence (AI) has eroded all their skills of analysis and intuition. They cannot think for themselves and have become slaves to avatar personas.

Hygiene:
As they don’t need to frequent the corporate office, they work from home, and don’t see the need for personal grooming as their work life experiences are completely virtual.

So why was I awoken?

Apparently, my name was found in a time capsule buried in an old building that was made redundant in the year 2025. The same year in which I left my employer and commenced my period of forced retirement hibernation. The finder of this archaeological treasure glanced through all the archives that highlighted how workers in the past thought for themselves, were innovative and creative. It was reported that those of yesteryear apparently relied on our experience, our knowledge and used technology to complement our reasoning and logic, instead of being beholden to it.

A search commenced and I was unearthed and brought into the present (my future).

I looked around the room and immediately thought, it was time to restart my corporate life once more. As the saying goes, “everything old is new again”, and I was ready.

The Future Outer Look

window-woman

Although located on the 536th floor, the view from my private office window is identical to those located on the lower and upper levels where I look straight into a neighbouring building situated just a few centimetres away, the only separation being a sound proof block of thick, perfectly transparent glass. Modern city building regulations stipulate that all walls of construction need to allow the unhindered transmission of light to conform with the strict environmental conditions of work as decreed by the World Office Worker Organisation (WOWO), year of issue 2056.

For those of you unfamiliar with the architectural designs for those of us fortunate enough to be working for a maximum of 2 hours a day, office layouts have definitely changed from the good old days of our grandparents.  Yes, no longer do workers have to reside in the primitive conditions associated with the open planned corporate office. Now, each employee has his, or her, very own dedicated floor space in the building that ensures complete sound solitude, together with the ability to creatively think without any unwelcome, or untimely interruption.

Most corporate office buildings, particularly those located in the CBD, are over 5,000 floors high, lined up side-by-side with military precision along the street frontage, and are constructed entirely from toughened glass blocks as per the WOWO building legislation. However, by the standards of yesteryear, these buildings are not very wide, in fact only 5 metres which matches the WOWO allocated floor width for each employee.

Through an innovative design pioneered by a charitable private Australian research establishment, these impressive tall buildings no longer require an elevator for vertical transportation. Instead, there are two hollow chimney chutes that transcend the entire height of the building located at each end of the floor. The key to this invention was to have the corporate Finance Team located in the upper floors, and the Marketing Department situated in the basement. As hot air rises, it quickly creates an upward wind gust that increases in velocity until it reaches the upper heights of the building where it interacts with the strong negative drag, and then rapidly condenses to form a downward airflow. The result is the formation of an employee transportation system that effortlessly moves people, or objects, up and down the building in a consistent clockwise rotation.

Now should you work in an earthquake location, have no fear as each tall building is linked via a simple locking block designed by Lego Constructions. This company also specialises in amazingly fast building construction techniques, and their corresponding destruction, should it be required.

Occasionally the employee of the corporate office may want to have a meeting with other coworkers not via the traditional video conference, but one involving a real person interaction. The answer is again quite simple utilising the construction techniques developed by Lego Constructions. If a larger meeting room is required, each employee floor is equipped with a block extraction tong which enables a simple person sized hole to be developed in the adjacent building. However, when using the extraction tong, it is important not to remove any blocks located in the hollow chimney chutes as this may result in a large influx of transported employees quickly filling up your allocated floor.

For those employees that have the occasional need for visual privacy from all potential onlookers within and outside the building, Lego Constructions have a simple solution. In each transparent glass building block there is a small sensor that measures the first onset of any employee blush or embarrassment. Should this sensor be triggered, a rapid temperature reduction is initiated within the block that frosts the outer surface that quickly distorts any light transition so a person’s concealment is ensured when required.

Yes, the view from my office window is quite impressive, but like all employees, I wonder what the view is like from other side of the transparent wall adjourning my building? A thought to ponder as I tirelessly works my requisite 2 hours.

Corporate Office Time (COT) – Redefined

blond girl

Her name I believe was Susan, but that is somewhat irrelevant as she should have been any one of us.

Susan meandered in through the main office reception area and immediately everyone’s eyes were fixated upon her. All business activities ceased, it was like “Corporate Office Time” (COT) had stopped with her physical presence. Once the Susan persona had moved past, the only evidence that remained were the quiet rumblings of gossip and consternation.

No, it wasn’t just Susan’s long blond free flowing wavy hair, nor her brightly coloured jeans, her loose fitting and fully button collared casual silk shirt, the coloured toenails, or that distinctive walking style, it was the combination of all these attributes that when combined together created a unique and quite distinctive point of difference. Susan certainly did not portray that traditional and well-entrenched corporate look of conservatism, her appearance just didn’t “fit in” with the “corporate standards” of this office!

If we were able to take a snapshot of COT in the past, and in the future, to observe and compare the changes in “corporate standards”, the viewing I’m sure would be rather interesting and revealing.

In that 1960 classic film called “The Time Machine” (H.G. Wells), the character portrayed by the actor Rod Taylor, observes a female clothing mannequin in a shop window where he sees women’s fashion literally changing before his eyes.
(Ref: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVlr24zD_KQ)

What is classified as acceptable business attire in one period of COT may be completely inappropriate in another point in time.

This then begs the question, what initiates the change and who deems it acceptable? Should this change in corporate standards be subtle, or one that causes a major dislocation in the office cultural environment? My preference is the latter, one that forces a change in the innovation mindset of employees and makes everyone think that little bit differently. After all, we are not all privy to having access to a “Corporate Office Time Machine” (COTM) where we can test the impact of future ideas before we implement them, so let’s just get on with it and enjoy the uncertainty!

The corporate office needs more people like Susan as these employees have the courage to introduce new and innovative ideas that continually test the boundaries of COT. These people force others in the office to review current “corporate standards” as the window of what is termed “acceptance” needs to be regularly expanded, just like the shop store fashions in “The Time Machine” film.

So, let’s stop focussing on the past and start excitedly introducing the future into the present!

Note: The image is of Weena (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eloi)

Using Thought-Mail

(Too much) Thinking

I don’t know how people coped in 2015! It must have been so tedious having to write E-mails, talk on that massive heavy communicator (and they called it a “mobile phone”, I mean really!), and use that archaic and primitive “thing” called the Internet! Thank god I was born in 2064 and am a “Generation SC64er”.

I put my history book down and decided to get back to work.

The first thing I needed to do was to send a “Thought-Mail” to my work team. I’d been putting it off for ages, but I had finally worked out my “thinking” on the business strategy and now needed their input and feedback. I “mentally” turned on the “thought reader” and inserted it in my ear and then “thought” about what I wanted to say to my team. This only took a couple of microseconds as I’m quite a fast thinker. I then “listened” to the play-back draft of the message in my mind, made a couple of corrections, and then visualised the names in my work team and allowed my “Thought-Mail” to be sent. Immediately, everyone in my team received my thoughts.

Not all of them replied immediately though. That was OK, as I assumed that some of them would be “thinking” about other things. I knew that my “thought” would sit in their memory and would be “read” when they had some available thinking time in their work day. I could have classified the “Thought-Mail” as urgent as that would have forced them to think about it straight away, but it wasn’t that important, a response tomorrow would be just fine.

A couple of seconds later I started to “feel the replies” coming into my mind from two of the people in my team. I thought about their comments and agreed with their reasoning. Thankfully all those team members that hadn’t yet responded, also received these replied “thought updates”, so they would have all the updated thinking which would assist them in making their own thoughtful responses.

Well, that took 30 seconds. I now moved onto my next task and again started “thinking” and the process was in motion.

Author note: I wish I was born in 2064, don’t you?

The Business Vote….In or Out?

Voting

At election time you will find a politician strategically working their electorate in an attempt to win as many precious votes as possible. The politician will tell you what they have done in the past, and what things they will do in the future to ensure your personal interests are being maintained. If you find the political sell credible, you have the option to vote them in, or out of their parliamentary seat of power.

What if this voting concept was utilised in the corporate office? Why shouldn’t senior managers, such as the CEO, MD, be voted in or out of their role by a range of key stakeholders which includes their shareholders, peers and more importantly their subordinates? Some senior managers typically sell themselves exceptionally well to their shareholders, but typically do not view their direct reports in the same manner, nor with equal importance.

Why shouldn’t the senior manager on a regular basis be required to promote themselves, just like a politician at election time, to their employees where they outline their vision for the organisation, how they will achieve it and the future benefit derived for all workers? At the end of the promotional and lobbying period all employees would vote on the senior manager’s performance and credibility. If the vote is poor, this would result in the immediate dismissal of the senior manager as it would be apparent that they have not inspired their staff sufficiently to deliver the required business strategy. It would also benefit shareholders as it would be a good indicator of the future performance of the organisation under the leadership of this senior manager.

It’s just a thought, but the concept could also lead to greater transparency in the corporate environment where all levels of the organisation feel as if they have some political control, ownership and influence in the future direction of their business?