Too Hot in the Office?

Business Man in Office With Fan

Outside, the temperature is a whopping 48 degrees Celsius (118F). Thankfully, those working in the corporate office are happily benefiting from a massive air-conditioner that is steadily pumping out a chilled air woft that ensures optimum employee comfort.

But what if the prized air-conditioning unit should randomly fail without any thermal warning? For those of you that are the Office Safety Warden, on your list of significant staffing impact problems and threats, this one ranks well above fire, floods, or running out of coffee (well, maybe not the last one).

Thankfully, the Federal Directorate of Office Work has developed a Hot Employee Management Plan (HEMP) that provides a readily followed process that will quickly extinguish the unwelcome heat malady that could potentially engulf those hard working employees, and keep any “hot under the collar” tempers well subdued.

1. Remove Clothing
Step 1 is the most logical and most easily enforced, but this step will require the initial distribution of a CEO approved HR Policy, signed by all employees, so that each person knows just what level of clothing can be removed without causing any offence, or embarrassment .

2. Pedal Power
Most progressive offices have a desk equipped with a pedal powered fan that is situated under the employee’s desk that can be readily activated when required. For those employees that are a tad lazy, I’m sure you will be able to readily motivate a colleague to pedal your fan with the right financial incentive so all needs are met.

3. Mobile Phone
It is common for most employees to travel to work by car. This Step encourages employees to sit in their air-conditioned cars and then join any urgent business meetings via a conference call utilising their mobile phone. However, as Safety Warden, before you recommend this solution, please ensure that there is a strong exhaust fan in the underground carpark. If not, you may be facing another problem that could be much more serious.

4. Changing Clothes
Those colleagues in a tailored suit should be quickly encouraged to replace their long woollen trousers with shorts, or a kilt, thereby allowing that wanted air-flow relief.
For additional information:  Claim your Pantaloon Freedom

5. Holiday Room
For those employees lucky enough to work for a progressive organisation that has a “Holiday Room” located in their corporate office, all is good, as each worker can readily book some desirable cooling time at the “beach or the snow”.
For additional information: Holiday Room

But, should all the above Steps fail to provide the requisite temperature relief, then Step 6 should be immediately implemented to ensure the short-term protection of your workforce. That being, invoke a mass office evacuation which commands all employees to go home, thereby removing them from your legal responsibility!

You should then instantaneously adhere to the little known Step 7 (restricted to Office Safety Warden’s only), which requires you to go to the pub and have a nice cold beverage (or two), and with time, you will quickly forget all about the subject of air-conditioning! And remember, tomorrow is another day, and with it, there will hopefully be lots of rain.

 

The Holiday Room

beautiful-blonde-businesswoman-using-technology-to-work-from-the-beach-60-fps_n1xjfhjr1g__F0000

I must admit I felt a tad apprehensive to be lying semi-naked in my allocated room in the corporate office, but thankfully the door was firmly shut so no one could come in and spy me in my non-professional private state of personal relaxation. The temperature warmly caressing my body was a welcome 30 Celsius, outside the climatic elements were a freezing 10 degrees below which quickly alleviated any nanosecond potential thought of partial nudity in that environment.

The booking time remaining before my experience of quiet solace was to come to an abrupt end was indicated by the petite clock on the wall, that being, only 28 minutes. As such, I nonchalantly rolled over and let another part of my tired body savour the “Holiday Room” experience.

Yes, I was working in rather an innovative office where the employee can book a meeting room and escape from the pressures and pain of their stressful daily working regime. These unique office rooms are called “Holiday Rooms” and can be booked like any other meeting room for a one hour period via the employee’s electronic Outlook diary. Why a “Holiday Room”? Well, for those employees that can’t afford to take time off to have a real holiday owing to being deemed too busy, or important, this option provides a welcome interim solution!

How does it work? It’s simple. The employee just has to book the room, and then program the room to their desired temperature. Once selected, the room springs into the corresponding ambient solution mode and immediately sets up the requisite props to make the experience much more meaningful and relaxing.

For those employees that like the heat, once the temperature request had been accepted by the booking system, on arrival they would be pleasantly provided with a comfortable sunbed, a tube of SPF30 sunblock, wading pool (maximum depth of 0.5 metres to ensure no safety incidents, complete with two plastic floating penguins that squeak), sand pit (with shells, seaweed, bucket and spade), protective dark sunglasses and a booming sun-lamp. A discrete non-alcohol cocktail can also be purchased for a modest fee.

Now should an employee book a temperature which necessitates ice particles quickly coating the walls and floor, then the “Holiday Room” instantaneously initiates the “Mountain Chalet” mode where a spiffy coloured snug fitting ski suit, leather gloves, blazing open fire, thick floor rugs, recycled plastic reindeer and fake fur growling black bears all automatically appear, complete with a micro-mist of delightfully fragrant pine tree odour that majestically permeates the chilled air cooling system. As expected, a discrete non-alcoholic hot toddy is also available, personally delivered by a neutral concierge of your choice.

Of course, there is an array of many other creative options available for the “Holiday Room” depending on the variety of tastes and cultures of the employees residing in your corporate office.

How many employees can occupy a “Holiday Room” at the same time? A good question, but owing to some very wise preventative corporate HR policies, the answer is only one. If you require a room with more than one occupant, then it is suggested that you explore other options well away from the office, and on your own time.

Now if your office doesn’t yet have a “Holiday Room”, fortunately there is a simple solution. That being, Ask.

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