The Secret Wandering Wofter Xmas Tally


At 9:37 PM on the 24th December in all innovative corporate organizations, a dim yellow light can be seen permeating under the door of a room that is hidden to most employees. This room, one that is normally dormant and unregistered in the corporate room-booking directory, is on this occasion full of virtuous activity.

On sneaking into the room, you will see it jam-packed with all the “Wandering Wofters” who have a secret role in the corporate organization, that being to see which employees have been “good” and those who have been “naughty” throughout the year.

The “Wandering Wofters” will all be sitting at a large table eating mince tarts, shortbread, smoked salmon and copious quantities of fresh prawns which are all being swilled down with many large corporate flagons containing the company accredited beverage.

Each “Wofter” will have a complete list of employee names and they will systematically vote on each of their co-workers. Those employees who have been “exceptionally good” receive 3 votes, those who have been “relatively good” get 2 votes, those who have just turned up to the office and logged on to their computer get the mandatory 1 vote.

However, for those employees who have been naughty, look out! Those employees who have:

a) Participated in the office Kris Kringle without providing a present (-3 votes)
b) Attended the office Xmas party without wearing the customary party hat, didn’t dance or play in the games (-2 votes)
c)  Those that have had a perpetual look of boredom and doom on their face throughout the corporate year (-1 vote)

At the conclusion of the Wofter voting process, all the votes are counted and the “Grand Wandering Wofter” (a very esteemed Wofter role with secret corporate privileges) delivers the result to the CEO who now applies their corporate Xmas “spirit and cheer” that becomes effective at midnight.

Those employees with a positive voting outcome receive “certain benefits” in the following year that range from job promotion, improved seating position, better coffee, access to the CEO lunch left-overs, etc, the magnitude being linked to the number of positive votes obtained. Those with the negative votes may find themselves now sitting further away from the cafeteria, nearer the noisy air-conditioning vent or experience that their swipe card to the employee car park occasionally fails leading to many embarrassing honks from frustrated co-workers. For the employee with the most negative score, I would be scared to provide you with the specific details for fear of personal Wofter reprisal! Needless to say, this employee’s working life next year will be intolerable!

So when you are next considering how you should behave in the corporate office, be aware that a Wandering Wofter will be secretly studying your every move and will be quietly observing how your personality influences those around you from a working and an innovative perspective.

As a parting gesture, on behalf of all the Wondering Wofters that frequent your corporate office, may I wish you all a merry Xmas and a happy new year!

Leave a comment


  1. fantastic! Love the creativity, Steven. Haha, points taken away for not dancing at a Christmas party or not having a gift. Pure gold. Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas as well.

  2. Hi Steven,

    Great story! It made me smile – gave me flashbacks to my life in the corporate world. I can happily say that I don’t miss it at all.

    I hope you had a nice Christmas. Here’s to a happy, healthy and prosperous 2014!



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