There is always at least one hole on a golf course that appears to have a mind of its own. It is the one that teases the unsuspecting golfer with unfettered hope, but then unmercifully demoralizes them with brutal savagery.
I am that hole.
You may think that a golf course is a placid, inanimate, terrain of grass, sand and water, with a variety of pleasant vegetation, some small, some large. You are very wrong.
We, the eighteen individual holes that when geographically aligned together become a ‘serpentual’ living organism that has one purpose in life, that being to mislead and surreptitiously annoy you, the golfer.
Our craft of subterfuge requires cunning, creativity and innovation where we continually change our layout on a daily basis to ensure ongoing golfer bamboozlement.
Of all the eighteen holes, I am the acknowledged master scoundrel of misery and frustration that relishes the opportunity to strike fear and trepidation into any golfer that treads upon my turf. I just despise the words ‘Par’, ‘Birdie’, but take personal reward on hearing ‘Bogey’, ‘Double or Triple Bogey’, and the greatest of all being ‘Lost Ball’.
The key to my success is my aptitude in being deviously canny and shrewd. Most golfers may experience the ‘occasional’ bad luck on my hole, but the following examples provide testament to my proven methodology.
Lost Ball: Every golfer hates to lose their ball, but in reality, this is not the case. Rather, I provide them with a temporary malady of blindness precisely at the location when they are nearing their ball. The ball is there, but they just don’t see it. Wonderful, isn’t it!
Wind Gusts: Should a golf ball appear to have that perfect trajectory, I have the ability to instantaneously whip up a superb, yet mysteriously powerful micro-wind gust that is excellent in providing the requisite negative ball deviation.
Trees: Once a golf ball enters the canopy domain of my trees, I ensure that the ball ricochets in the exact opposite direction of the green.
Sand Bunkers: I just love watching golfers digging holes. It gives me no end of entertainment!
Putting: This is the masterpiece of my creative ingenuity and one that brings me the greatest pleasure. Many a golfer has been distraught when their strategically planned putt circles the circumference of the cup, never to drop, but to come to rest a frustrating and miserable millimeter from the hole. How do I do this you may ask? Well, that’s my secret and I’m keeping it that way!
In summing up, or should I say when tallying all the above strokes together, some final words of discouragement for the golfing reader. I am a sneaky and mischievous entity that randomly moves from hole to hole based on how I’m feeling on any particular day. So, a word of caution, never assume that a tricky hole will be the same on each day that you play. I am out to cause you golfing mayhem, and I thoroughly enjoy it.
Thoughts that might just be useful in the future 