The Innovative Procrastinator

We all have at least one of these people in the corporate office. They are known as the Innovative Procrastinator and are a major thwart in any business. They are analogous to an annoying rose thorn that is lodged deeply in your finger, you can quickly identify the prick via the pain created, but they are tricky to get rid of without some personal discomfort. The common and most widely used method of eradication is to strategically cut the person free before they infect those around them and kill off any growth of corporate joy and creativity.

However, relax, as the Innovative Procrastinator nonchalantly displays the following clues as to their character which will assist you purging them from your organisation. As the name suggests, they are usually quite innovative and may exhibit one or more of these behaviours.

Clue 1: Busy
Like any office pest, they have a public catch-phrase that quickly and publicly differentiates them from your other valuable and hardworking employees. This is the squawk of “I’m so busy!” This is frequently accompanied with a further supporting comment stating that they need additional resources and more time as they just can’t do their job without help.

Clue 2: Sick Leave
Yep, as they are “so busy”, they tend to be sick quite often as they need time to recoup from the “stress” of their job. Unfortunately, this tends to compound the problem as they are now spending more time “resting” at home rather than catching up on their ever increasing work in the office.

Clue 3: Mobile Phone
The Innovative Procrastinator typically spends most of their working day on social media, messaging and speaking to everyone else except those that are work colleagues. To tell if this is the case with your employee, just pick up their phone and if it is warm to the touch, you can safely assume that it has been in their hand for an extended period of non-related work time.

Clue 4: Work Diary
Their diary will have massive blocks of time blocked out, typically around morning coffee, lunch and afternoon tea time. Their work day never starts before 9 AM and at precisely 5 PM, you will feel the violent wind gust on your face as they speedily exit the building.

Clue 5: Coffee
You guessed correctly! They are always at the café waiting for their exotic cup of coffee whilst having a deep and meaningful chat with anyone that will listen to them.

Now should you unfortunately have one of these recalcitrant employees in your office, the time to act is now as things will only get worse should you let their behaviour go unchecked. But the Innovative Procrastinator is a clever individual and they will defend their busyness with a plethora of theoretically valid assertions that justify their continued work existence. However, don’t be fooled, take action immediately, before you lose your mind with massive frustration and thoughts of justified corporate wickedness.

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